Catching a Glimpse
by SunniGummi
Summary: Jasper/Maddie bonding story. Whilst out on a hunt, Jasper is suddenly overcome by the smell of a hiker, even though he had done so well after that unfortunate incident on Bella's birthday. He settles on the only logical explanation for this, and it looks like Maddie is in big trouble. Warning: There might be spanking/ mention of spanking. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! **

**I got reviews and PMs asking me to do a Jasper/Maddie bonding story, and so I grabbed my netbook and started writing it for you. I'm not sure if it turned out the way you guys wanted or expected it to, but... s**till, I hope you like it! **;-)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Ergo...? Exactly, Twilight does not belong to me.**

* * *

It was a boring Saturday afternoon and the rain was quietly drumming against the large windows of their new home, blurring the view of the outside world.

Maddie didn't really mind, as she did not really feel at home in this place. Both the surroundings and the house were strange and made her feel that they didn't belong.

They had moved to West Virginia a little more than two weeks ago... It was the first time she experienced moving with the family - and not because the time had come and they needed to settle down somewhere else or because people had become suspicious of them. No, this time it was because something unexpected had happened, and it made her realise how fast things could change.

She came home from school one day and when she entered the house, she immediately knew something was off. A few pieces of furniture were missing, there were no jackets and coats hanging on the hallstand anymore and the sudden eerie silence in the house was almost deafening to her. The others had already left and it was only Carlisle and Esme waiting for her.

The Mercedes was laden with suitcases and boxes filled with a few personal belongings. Esme had packed some clothes for Maddie and a few things she knew she liked and wanted to keep, and when the girl just stood there, staring at the two pathetic cardboard boxes that apparently held all her stuff, she was allowed to go to her room one last time for one minute to collect whatever else she didn't want to leave behind and what Esme had failed to pack.

Even though one minute was more than enough time for a vampire, Maddie felt that it was over way too quickly. She hadn't been prepared for this, and so she didn't know what to take.

And then they got into the car and left.

They left the house, the town and eventually the state.

And only when they were on their way out of the county did Esme tell her where they were going and that they wouldn't return.

Just like that. No return, no nothing.

They didn't even give her time to change out of her uniform, and when they told her her clothes were in the trunk and they would not stop just so that she could get changed, she whined that she wanted to drive with either Rose or Emmett - but they said No. So she kicked against Carlisle's seat and demanded that they go back or let her drive with someone else, and instead of complying they just told her to behave and be quiet.

Now she was lying on the brown leather couch in the living room, watching TV on a small screen with her head resting in Rose's lap while Rose was absent-mindedly flipping through a magazine.

Maddie had to admit that Forks hadn't been the most exciting place to be, but it was a metropolis in comparison to where they were now. There was absolutely nothing to do, this place didn't smell like home, the rooms seemed tiny and the ceilings way too low, giving the house an oppressing atmosphere and making her feel like a prisoner.

Even their holiday home at the lake was so much bigger than this one - well, at least she thought it was - and she had no idea why they hadn't chosen to go there. It's even already fully furnished, there were bears for them to feed on and apart from a few bad memories, it was a cool place and she would like to go back there.

They had only moved because Edward wanted them to.

Jasper had almost attacked his girlfriend, and then Edward panicked, broke up with her and made them move.

Funny enough, he wasn't here anymore. One night he had sat down at the kitchen table with Carlisle and Esme while the rest of them had been sent outside to go on a hunt. And when they came back, he was gone.

It looked like Esme had been crying and Carlisle barely spoke a word – nobody knew when or if he would come back.

The next day Esme had moved Maddie's things into the other room that was a little bigger, had a nicer view and a small balcony, because with Edward gone he wouldn't need it. Maddie couldn't care less as she didn't like any of the rooms.

The problem was that she just didn't like being here, and it felt like nothing could change that. Everyone in the family appeared to be so sad and quiet in this place, even though Rose had assured her that it was only the adjusting process at first. They needed to make this house their home first and settle in, and then everything would go back to normal.

But Edward was gone and no one knew where he was as he barely answered any of their calls or messages... even Alice had trouble seeing him.

To makes matters even worse Jasper was feeling overly guilty since Bella's birthday, because he knew that him losing control was what had made Edward demand that they moved, and it had eventually chased their brother away who was suffering of heartache, sadness, desperation and self-loathing.

So these two couldn't be in the same room together and they hadn't spoken a word ever since that day. Well, now it didn't matter anymore as Edward was gone, but it had negatively influenced the entire family.

Maddie's eyelids drooped as the newsreader was droning on and on about stuff she couldn't care less about, and she readjusted herself on the sofa to be a little bit more comfortable while she was feeling so very sluggish and bored.

* * *

An hour or so passed, when all of a sudden the porch door flew open and Jasper stormed into the room, closely followed by Alice and Emmett.

"_You!_" he bellowed and pointed a finger at Maddie, who gasped in shock and sat upright, then scooted back on the couch and closer to Rosalie.

"You! Come here _right now_!" he shouted while approaching them with angry steps, his gaze still fixed on the petite girl that just stared at him wide-eyed.

Rose dropped her magazine and shot up, taking a step in front of her sister while glaring at her blonde brother.

"What's wrong with you?" she queried and put her hands on her hips, frowning.

"Get out of my way, Rosalie," he retorted in a voice that resembled a growl.

"Over my dead body."

"Jasper, please just calm down!" Alice beseeched her mate, while Emmett looked like he was contemplating dragging his brother back outside and maybe even give him a few slaps to the back of his head to help him get back to his senses.

"All of you, stay the fuck out of it!" he yelled, his expression livid and his eyes becoming pitch-black.

Carlisle and Esme came running down the stairs at hearing the ruckus downstairs, and they stopped right behind the couch, looking at their children with shock and confusion written all over their faces.

"What's going on here?" Carlisle demanded, and luckily he didn't need to wait long for an answer as Jasper was more than willing to brief the rest of the family of what the girl had done.

His venom was boiling with furious rage. "I almost attacked a human – because of _her_!" he accused. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were narrowing in anger.

Maddie glanced over her shoulder at Carlisle, who gave her a frown of confusion before he looked back up at his enraged son.

"Calm down, Jasper, and tell us what happened."

But Jasper ignored his father as he took a step to the side to be able to glare past his blonde sister. "Come here," he ordered in a dangerously low hiss and curled his finger at her. "Let's see if you'll do that again once I'm through with you."

Rose crouched and hissed sharply at Jasper, while both Alice and Emmett grabbed the blonde soldier by his arms to restrain him in case he would try and attack one of the girls.

"Let me go!"

Jasper growled at his bulky brother, and so Emmett gave him a growl of his own, daring him to make a move towards them while Esme put her hands on Maddie's shoulders to soothe her and fend Jasper off in case he would try and lash out at her.

"_Enough!_" Carlisle called authoritatively, "All of you! No more growling, no more hissing and no more threats!"

All eyes were on him and the room immediately grew silent.

Giving a satisfied nod at seeing that they had stopped acting like maniacs, Carlisle now took his time to look back and forth between his children, before he eventually fastened his eyes on Jasper.

"Son, do you need to step outside for a moment?" Carlisle asked, giving his son a scrutinising look as he still looked furious. He wanted to defuse the situation as he couldn't have him lose it like that again and then end up attacking one of his siblings.

"No, I'll stay right here where I can see that little devil," he countered, fixing the young girl with a venomous look.

"Jasper? _Jasper!_" Carlisle snapped his fingers to draw his attention, then pointed his index and middle finger at his own eyes the moment Jasper finally looked at him. "Eyes on me. Tell me what happened," he ordered.

"That crazy girl made me feel the urge to attack a human! If it hadn't been for Alice and Emmett, I would have done it – maybe even killed half the town!" he ranted while his nostrils flared of anger.

Rose looked at Maddie and mouthed, 'Did you really?' while giving her a look of bewilderment and disbelief.

Carlisle turned his head to give his youngest a questioning look, who just seemed to make herself even smaller under his gaze.

Looking back up again at his enraged son, Carlisle queried, "Why would your sister do that, Jasper?"

"She is a spoilt brat and doesn't like this town, so – _of course _– she decides to force us to move! Isn't that right?!" he yelled and his fists shook with the anger that was coursing through him and that he barely managed to keep under control.

"Madeline, is that true?"

Maddie shook her head and hugged her knees even tighter to her chest while Rose sat back down next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Liar!" he screamed and was about to lunge for her to force the truth out of her, but Emmett stretched his arm out in front of him to hinder him from doing just that. At the same time Carlisle stepped in between Jasper and the couch the girls were sitting on, pushing the coffee table out of the way with his knee to properly block his son's path in case he would still try to charge.

"Tell them the truth!" Jasper's dark eyes blazed, and a barely audible growl rumbled in his chest – he didn't like having his way blocked.

His father looked sternly into his eyes. "Control yourself, boy."

Jasper breathed heavily, trying to obey his father. He was absolutely furious with Maddie, furious about the danger she had put the family in and her unscrupulousness to use him like that to get her way. _This deceitful, little-_

All of a sudden he was hit by an emotion that didn't quite fit the situation.

A sense of fear.

His eyes lost focus for a moment as he concentrated on his gift to see where that emotion was coming from.

Esme was a little afraid, yes, afraid that someone might get hurt, but it wasn't very strong as she was probably confident that there were enough people in the room that were still thinking clearly and rationally and wouldn't allow him to attack the child.

No, it was Maddie.

She was scared. Of him.

She usually got mad when her plans didn't work out, because she felt that it wasn't fair that she didn't get her way and because she was convinced that she was always in the right... Well, sometimes she started feeling nervous as she knew she was in trouble, but right now he clearly perceived that she was scared, and it was directed at him.

She feared him.

He cocked his head to the side and stared at his father's chest like he could see right through him and at the girl he was shielding. Yes, he was trying to decipher why she would suddenly feel that way. A new trick? Perhaps to make him have mercy on her? Or was it only meant to fool Carlisle and Esme? Maybe she had finally realised that she was in very deep trouble as nobody would take such a sneaky act lightly... good. Was about time.

"Rosalie? Take her upstairs," Carlisle said, and Jasper heard Rose whisper to Maddie to get up. They quietly left the room and ascended the stairs, and once they reached her room and had shut the door behind them, he noticed the atmosphere change again.

"Sit down," Carlisle requested while looking at each of his children. He must have figured that it would be a lot easier now to find out what had happened and why it had happened.

Without Maddie in the room Jasper would be calmer, of course, and Carlisle always tried to separate his children when they were arguing or about to fight, to make sure nobody would get hurt as that could easily happen when one or both of them were so on edge.

Rose would stay with her and talk to her - that way they'd get to the bottom of this a lot sooner than when they would just have everyone sit down together and try to have a talk without ending up growling or hissing at each other.

Carlisle took a few steps back and seated himself on the couch before Esme sank down onto the cushions right next to him, giving him a nervous look that made him cover her hands with one of his own and give them a gentle rub.

Alice and Emmett sat on the other leather couch without taking their eyes off Jasper, who just remained standing.

"Jasper, sit down, I said," Carlisle ordered in a soft but firm tone and watched his son hesitate for a moment before he eventually obeyed him.

As soon as the boy was seated next to his brother, Carlisle gave him a curt nod before looking at Emmett.

"What happened?"

"We left the house about one and a half hours ago to go on a hunt. We headed north for the lake to check for a herd of deer, when Jasper suddenly...," he trailed off and glanced at his brother, who sat there with his teeth clenched.

"When he suddenly what? Speak, Emmett."

Emmett sighed. "… when he suddenly changed direction and headed for the town. He didn't listen to a word we said, but Alice told me what would happen if we didn't restrain him. We somehow managed to catch him, then wrestled him to the ground and pinned his arms to his back until he was back to his senses. There was the faintest of human smells in the air, maybe a hiker... and Jasper had obviously been heading for where that person was. He told us that he was suddenly hit by the smell, it was so much stronger than it was supposed to be considering the distance. It caught him completely off guard."

Carlisle rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You didn't have any trouble with your bloodlust since we moved here, am I right, Jasper?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I saw him attacking the hiker and then he headed for the hospital," Alice piped up, and when her father's gaze fell on her she gulped. "... Sir."

"It's all right, Alice, you are free to speak. Tell me what you know, honey."

"That's it," she admitted embarrassedly and bit down on her bottom lip.

Carlisle frowned at that answer. "Did your sister compel Jasper to feed on humans?"

Alice's face scrunched up and she shrugged her shoulders apologetically. "I don't know, Daddy. I was focussing on Edward and where he was, I was trying to see how Bella was doing and... and..."

"Oh, baby," Esme cooed and immediately got up from the couch to take a seat on the armrest right next to her petite daughter. She hugged her with one arm and started to softly stroke her head. "it's all right. Nothing happened, everything's all right. You're under a lot of stress, honey, please don't feel responsible for this now."

"Ssh, Allie, it's not your fault," Jasper whispered calmingly and reached past his brother to place a hand on his wife's knee. "It's _hers_."

Emmett shook his head and squinted his eyes at him like he just couldn't believe what he had just said. "Would you stop saying that, bro? You have no idea if she has done something and what you are accusing her of doesn't even make sense!"

Carlisle raised a hand. "Calm down, Emmett. You, too, Jasper. I don't want to hear any arguing or see you attacking each other. This is quite the serious accusation, Jasper, and I would like to find out what happened without having you two making the situation worse. I know this move wasn't easy and I know that all of you are worried about your brother, but I expect you to conduct yourselves and don't take the stress as of late out on each other."

"This is not about Edward, Carlisle, it has nothing to do with him. This is about her putting our lives at risk by doing as she pleases and ignoring the rules that are set in place to protect her and us. She has just endangered our entire coven by manipulating me!" Then he sat a little straighter and cleared his throat as though preparing himself and the others for what he would say next. "I ask for permission to deal with her myself, Sir."

Emmett leaned back and practically gaped at him. "Are you for real?"

"Jasper-," Carlisle started to say, but he was interrupted.

"Do you just want to stand by and watch her disrespecting me all the time? Especially now that she has clearly gone to far, and risked our exposure?"

Rubbing his forehead as though trying to ease some of the tension that had developed since he had come downstairs, Carlisle replied, "We don't know the true facts of the matter yet."

"It's obvious that she wronged me and quite frankly, I've had enough. It was _that_ close, Carlisle, just imagine I would have gone hunting without Alice and Emmett."

And instead of giving him an answer, Carlisle looked at him like he was contemplating something.

* * *

****It might not look like a bonding story just yet, hahaha, it really doesn't, but we'll be getting there eventually. I cannot tell you how many chapters this story is going to have, but it won't be awfully many, I think. I have the first four finished and am working on the fifth chapter at the moment. Just decided to post this now, because otherwise I will probably never finish the story (I wrote the first three chapters in September... *whistles*). Yes, I tend to be lazy.****

****Sooo... guilty or not guilty, hm? ;)****

****Thanks for reading guys and let me know what you think!****


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Rose shut the door behind her, she leaned against it with her back and watched the girl in front of her. Maddie stood in the middle of the room, looking at her with big eyes and Rose wasn't sure if the look she was giving her was one of fear or guilt, a mixture of both or maybe something completely different.

"Maddie?"

"I didn't do that, I didn't," she said and lightly shook her head.

Rose frowned. "You didn't make him attack a human?"

"No! Why would I do something like that?"

"I don't know," she replied and shrugged her shoulders. "Why would he accuse you of doing just that?"

The girl started chewing on her bottom lip, then took a step back and slumped down on her bed. But instead of holding her sister's gaze, she looked down at her folded hands in her lap and started fidgeting.

Tilting her head to the side, Rosalie watched her for a moment before she asked in a quiet voice, "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Maddie pulled one shoulder up – it was a half-shrug, just showing Rose all the more that something wasn't right here.

Oh dear.

With a sigh Rosalie pushed away from the door and approached her sister before she sat down next to her. Maddie scooted back a little and pulled her legs up, sitting Indian style – she probably wanted to be as comfortable as possible while admitting to what she had done.

But instead of saying something, she just hung her head, even though she must know there was only Rose with her in the room... Rose, who quickly grew impatient with her antics and was waiting for her to explain.

"So?" she asked after a minute of Maddie remaining completely silent – she didn't even breathe.

The girl's head snapped back up. "I wanna go for a run!" she suddenly exclaimed and made to jump up from the bed, but Rose wouldn't have any of it.

"You," she said and kept her in place with her hand around her upper arm, "are staying right here. Out with it... what happened?"

The direct question made her cringe. "I didn't know it would be like that... I thought it would work," she replied in a tone of voice that sounded suspiciously like whining.

Rose hated whining.

"Just tell me what it is you've done! We are getting nowhere with you beating around the bush. Did you compel Jasper?"

Glancing up at her before quickly averting her eyes again, Maddie let out a quiet sigh.

"... yes," she admitted and it was almost too low for Rose to perceive despite her sharp vampire hearing.

Oh, dear... but since when would she lie to her face like that? Just moments ago, she said that she hadn't made him attack a human...

No, this couldn't be. No, there was more to this... she just needed to ask the right questions, it seemed. "What did you tell him to do?"

"I didn't know this would happen... I never wanted him to attack anyone, you have to believe me," she beseeched her sister and gave her a pleading look.

No matter how hard Rose tried, she would never have Esme's or Carlisle's patience. In fact, she had next to no patience when it came to serious matters. "Tell. Me," she demanded.

"I made him unable to smell humans," the girl admitted in a quiet voice and glanced up at Rose through a thick curtain of dark hair.

Rose squinted at her, and Maddie averted her eyes again.

"You... _why would you do that?_"

"I swear I thought it was a good idea! Everyone was so down, Jasper felt so guilty and moody and he refused to go outside... Edward left because of what happened in Forks... I thought that... I don't know... that maybe I could help."

Oh, and that's why Jasper wasn't struggling anymore when he went outside again. He had been doubting his self-control, felt responsible for having ruined Edward's relationship as he had been the reason why Edward had decided they needed to move and he needed to break up with his human girlfriend. He had started to project again at times, as sometimes his control slipped without him noticing. Alice was worried about him, worried about Edward and Bella, and Esme seemed to be so sad about Edward's departure, the pain they had caused his human girlfriend and knowing that Jasper was beating himself up over having lost his self-control and almost attacking her. Whenever they came home, Esme looked like she had been crying, but of course she denied it when they asked.

Carlisle was working even more than he had back in Forks, like he needed to distract himself and couldn't bear spending any more time at home than he really needed to, and overall the atmosphere at home was more than just a little oppressing and uncomfortable.

Additionally, nobody had stopped to think about what this would do to the youngest. It was the first time she had experienced moving out of the blue, experienced what it felt like having to give everything up and leave most of their things and the life they had led behind. She didn't get the chance to say Goodbye to the few people she might have considered friends or take the time to pack her own things, and now she was forced to settle down in a new place where nobody knew how long they would be staying there. These circumstances probably made it hard for her to let go of what they had in Forks and start a new life here - the move was too sudden and she just couldn't get enthusiastic about this new place.

That's why they mostly kept to themselves – they knew what it felt like having to live with the uncertainty of when or if they would have to move away again, and they knew that it wasn't much fun spending time with people if you might not be able to see them again.

And they hadn't taken the time to really explain the move to her as it had slipped their minds due to all the stress... and then having the family slowly fall apart must have been very unsettling and scary for her.

To make this a little bit easier for herself and the others, she had tried to help. Tried to make at least someone feel better. And seeing that Jasper wasn't struggling with his fear of killing someone anymore and was finally going outside again, Esme, too, had been a little bit more at ease. So looking at it now, Maddie had managed to help two people at once.

While Rose was busy mulling things over, she didn't see the silent tears of frustration and fear cascading down the girl's cheeks. But when she eventually noticed, she gasped and immediately reached out to hug the girl.

Maddie scooted further away, looking at her with wide eyes like she was expecting Rose to be mad at her.

"Ssh."

She moved closer to the girl, then wrapped her arms around her, immediately feeling her venom tears seep through the fabric of her blouse and make the skin on her neck and collar bone prickle.

When she pulled away again, she wanted to wipe the rest of the girl's tears away, but Maddie just dragged the sleeve of her shirt across her face and nose.

"I'm so stupid," she mumbled in between sniffling.

Rose stroked her hair and lightly shook her head. "No, you are not."

"But I can never do anything right, I always mess up."

"Shush, that's not true and you know it. I think it was a good idea and I know that you meant well, but it would have been better if you had told us what you were planning on doing."

She sniffed before looking up at Rose through wet eyelashes. "You would have said No. Besides, I tried talking to Jasper about it but whenever I knocked on his door or saw him downstairs, he just told me to leave him alone. When I wanted to ask Carlisle, he said he didn't have time and we would talk later, but then he somehow never had time for me. Esme is so sad, I didn't want to bother her. And she kinda drove me insane... she was humming all day like a crazy person while she put clean clothes into the washer, scrubbed the spotless bathrooms and vacuumed the house four times a day... I thought I would only make it worse."

Tucking a strand of hair behind Maddie's ear so it wouldn't get sticky with venom, Rose tilted her head to the side to look her in the face and said, "You could have told me. I always hear you out, so don't tell me I would have just said No. Why didn't you tell me or Em?"

"You and Emmett were the only ones that weren't suddenly completely different... I didn't want to annoy you."

Rose could have groaned at hearing that. "You thought by talking to us about the situation, we would have suddenly changed and turned sad like the others."

She nodded her head and sniffed once more.

"Maddie, you are sad. We all are, and being sad is okay. We can get through this together. And if you don't feel well or don't understand something or something scares you, then talk to us, I've told you countless times."

"You are sad that Edward left? He isn't exactly your favourite brother...," Maddie remarked, making Rose smirk.

"Well, I only have two brothers and I prefer to spend more time with Jasper than with Edward. He and I don't always get along - I've just known him for too long, I guess."

"You don't get along because you've known him for too long?"

"Yes, I think that's the reason... or maybe not. It's difficult. But we are still siblings, and so yes, I do miss my brother, believe it or not."

Maddie nodded her head, before she let out a defeated sigh. "I'm in trouble now," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, you did use your ability on someone without permission, and you know that is not okay. But you didn't do it for your own advantage and you didn't tell Jasper to attack a human."

"... so?"

"To be honest, I don't know," she told her and let out a sigh. "First we will tell Carlisle and Esme what you've just told me, and then we'll see. I think we all are a little bit at fault here."

"Jasper is so mad at me... do you think he's going to beat me?"

Rose let out a quiet snort. "No, he isn't. He is not in charge here and punishing someone in anger is wrong, you know that. So why would Carlisle suddenly change the rules?"

"I don't wanna go back down there."

"Then how are we going to tell them what really happened?" Rose asked and just stared at her.

Of course Maddie wasn't really interested in looking into angry eyes, and since she had just told her everything, she probably expected her to take care of briefing the others now.

"You can tell them, I'm staying here," she suddenly stated petulantly and let herself fall on her side. Then she grabbed a handful of her bedspread and used it to clean her face.

Rose slapped it out of her hand. "Geez, would you stop smearing your snot on everything? This is brand new and you know venom stains don't come out again."

"I didn't like the colour anyways... and it feels too rough." It was mustard yellow and Rose knew that she found that colour to be extremely ugly... and she had told her that she thought the bed frame was ugly, too. Heck, according to her, the whole house was ugly. Never in her life had she seen such an ugly house before.

Rose could have rolled her eyes. __Great, one minute sad and repentant, and the next petulant and wilful as ever.__

When Rose groaned, Maddie added, "I liked my old one."

"We'll find a new one that you like."

She shook her head. "But I want my old one."

"We are not going back for something silly as a bedspread."

Maddie sat up again and looked at her with wide eyes. "But if we go back for something else, then we can pick it up as well. It'll only take a second!"

Squinting her eyes shut for a moment, Rosalie said, "Maddie, listen to me: We are not going back."

The girl sniffled and Rose sighed. "Next time we move, we'll make sure to bring your bedspread along."

"But I don't want _this one_!"

Sure... Rose forgot. Why the heck would she insist on taking this 'ugly' thing with her?

At that moment Emmett knocked on the door to inform them that they were expected downstairs. Rose patted Maddie on the thigh, then got up and opened the door to tell Em to stay up here with her as she didn't want to go downstairs.

Emmett looked a little confused at hearing that she wouldn't join his wife downstairs. "Tiny, Jasper is not going to touch you and Mom and Dad are in the same room."

"I don't wanna go downstairs."

"Okay." So he walked into the room, while Rosalie stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind her, before she headed downstairs to the living room to tell the rest of the family what really happened and what Maddie's motivation had been to choose to use her talent on Jasper.

She descended the stairs and when she entered the living room, everyone looked up at her, then started frowning.

"I asked for both of you to come downstairs," Carlisle told her, and he did not sound amused that only Rosalie showed up.

"She doesn't want to and I cannot blame her. Jasper has been acting like he wanted to rip her apart."

"Rip her apart," Jasper scoffed. "I'm not going to torture her, just teach her a lesson."

"I don't think so," she retorted with narrowed eyes.

"Well," Carlisle sighed and ran a hand over his forehead to ease some of the stress that was engulfing him lately and especially today, "did she tell you anything?"

"Of course, that's why I'm here to speak on her behalf."

"Speak on her behalf... don't make me laugh. You need to teach her to take responsibility for her actions and do as she's told. She even refuses to come downstairs and then _you_ have to explain what _she_ has done... I don't even know if I want to hear it, this is ridiculous."

"Jasper, enough," Carlisle warned his son, while Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head, then took a seat on the opposite end of the couch her brother was occupying.

"Did she tell you that she manipulated me so that I'd attack someone and we would move again? Because we already know. That's what she learned from my... slip-up."

"No, she did not," Rose snapped, "it's the exact opposite actually. When-"

His face scrunched up in disbelief. "What are you talking about?"

Rose released a sigh. "She did use her ability on you," she admitted.

Jasper pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest while keeping his eyes fixed on his blonde sister.

"... but not like you think," she added.

"Oh, please do enlighten me. I'd love to hear her explanation for this."

"She only wanted to help. We-"

Jasper sucked in a breath and was just about to say something, when Carlisle quickly held up a hand to stop him. "Let her finish, Jasper. No more interruptions."

"We moved because Edward thought it would be too dangerous to have a relationship with a human as you... smelled her blood. You felt guilty and beat yourself up over it and since that was the reason for our sudden move and everyone changed, she thought she could help."

"Help?"

"Yes," she affirmed, "help by making you unable to smell humans."

Jasper's eyebrows climbed into his hairline, but he didn't say anything.

"That is what she told you?" Esme queried and blinked at her blonde daughter.

"Yes."

"You were suddenly hit by the smell of a human when it wore off... that's why it took you so off guard and made it even more tempting than usual," Alice breathed as realisation hit her, before she stared at her mate with wide eyes.

His jaw clenched for a moment. "No matter her intentions, I almost attacked someone and it was her doing," he stated.

"Ugh, don't be such a jerk."

Carlisle tzked. "Rose."

Rosalie snapped her head around to look at her father. "I won't apologise, he is acting like a jerk right now! He is an empath, he should know how hard this move was on her. It was the first time! Nobody told her what was going to happen, we had the meeting without her and when she came home from school, we had already packed up and were on our way. And she was scared to tell Em or me about her feelings as she thought we would change as well. Everybody is sad and Edward is gone – so much has changed in such a short time and that is difficult for her."

Then she turned in her seat to address her brother once more. "Seeing that the reason for the move and Edward leaving was that you lost control over your instincts and almost attacked a human, she wanted to make you feel better by increasing your self-confidence and helping you overcome your guilt somehow. Additionally, she wanted to make sure we wouldn't have to move again so soon - and that's why she made you unable to smell humans. You did feel more confident lately, didn't you? Being around humans didn't make you nervous, hm?"

He exhaled heavily. "She knows it wears off after a while."

"Yes, but she didn't know it would be like that. Just try to understand her for once."

Jasper huffed. "How about she-"

"Enough. Rosalie, thank you for telling us what happened, you can go back upstairs now, if you'd like," Carlisle offered, and she replied by giving him a curt nod like she appreciated getting away from her stubborn brother again.

She marched in the direction of the stairs and slowly made her way upstairs.

"I'll be in my room," Alice informed her mate and her parents after blinking her eyes a few times, and when they nodded their heads, she followed after Rose.

Now it was only Jasper in the room.

"We'll be right back," Carlisle told him, then motioned for his wife to come with him.

* * *

They went to the adjoining room, and Carlisle leaned with his hip against the kitchen counter before he said, "I do think it would be beneficial if we let Jasper handle it this one time."

Esme looked appalled, glanced in the direction of the living room before she hissed under her breath, "Carlisle, you can't-"

"We cannot have this family constantly be in two camps. And they have never really taken the time to talk and try to understand the other one. It's been like this for years."

"You just heard him, he refuses to see that she had meant well! How can you possibly suggest something like that?"

"That way they will finally talk, hear each other out."

She looked at him sceptically. While she trusted her mate, she sometimes had the feeling that he wasn't always thinking clearly. "Do you really think this is a good idea?"

He took a deep breath before slowly releasing it again. "Yes."

She turned to the side and crossed her arms while she tried to make up her mind whether to support her husband and let him do what he thought would be best, or just follow her gut feeling that told her to not agree to this harebrained idea.

Of course he was right in a way - they didn't get along all that well and it would be nice to see them bond or at least talk to each other more. They were a family, and it was important for all of them to be able to trust each other and rely on each other. At the moment, however, it did not look like that was the case with these two.

Jasper was very hard-minded and meticulous when it came to their coven rules, so it was hard for him to tolerate someone who did not feel the same way about them. Maddie was just too inexperienced, and as long as she only made small mistakes, they didn't feel the need to monitor or punish her all the time. Jasper, of course, wouldn't agree. He was a firm believer that bad habits should be nipped in the bud - no ifs, no buts. He tended to be a bit more extreme than Carlisle when it came to that, and Carlisle barely let anything slide.

However, Carlisle focussed on showing compassion and understanding, while it seemed that Jasper was more interested in the well-being of the coven.

It would be beneficial for both Jasper and Maddie if he'd let her explain why she had manipulated him. He needed to understand her motivation for doing so and just listen to what she had to say, while she needed to understand why it upset him so much.

And without them or anyone else around, Jasper and Maddie would be forced to take care of this matter and talk it out, maybe even find solutions to evade similar problems from happening in the future.

Hm.

"Are you sure this is for the best?"

"I am," he replied and nodded.

"If it doesn't work, Carlisle, and one of my children gets hurt, I will hold you accountable. Mark my words, mister," Esme told him and held up a warning finger.

He cracked a smile. "While I don't like to be threatened, my love, I understand why you are scared. But I assure you it's for the best."

When she gave a weak nod, he put an arm around her shoulders and together they left the kitchen and made their way back into the living room where Jasper was still seated on the couch.

He lifted his head when he heard his parents re-enter the room and had to suppress a gasp of surprise when his father said,

"Jasper, we will make an exemption this one time. You..."

* * *

**Yep, that was the second chapter. I cut Carlisle off, because... you know... he talks a lot and I didn't want to let him bore you. Besides, it really wasn't that important :D**

**And I know... still doesn't look like a bonding story. Just wait for it.**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, guys! Stay tuned for more!**


	3. Chapter 3

After having participated in the talk with Jasper and having tried her hardest to be supportive of her husband's decision, Esme suggested she'd go upstairs and get the girl so they all could put this matter behind them. The sooner, the better, she figured, but actually just wanted to make sure she wouldn't spend any more time than necessary feeling drawn between stopping this and just keeping quiet and letting it happen. She was horribly nervous and even a little scared as the well-being of her children was what mattered most to the brunette woman. So when they finished telling Jasper about what they had decided on, it was time for Maddie to hear it as well.

Trying to unnecessarily postponing this did not make any sense and the girl was probably already nervous enough as it was, so making her wait even longer was just plain cruel.

After climbing the stairs and making her way down the hallway until she reached her daughter's room, Esme knocked on the door and asked Maddie to come downstairs with her. Rose and Em led the girl over to the door before they headed for their own room, which left the girl to face her sentencing on her own.

Keeping her head lowered as though not wanting or not daring to gaze into her mother's eyes, Maddie walked right next to Esme as they headed for the stairway.

They didn't talk as they descended the carpeted stairs, but with her arm around her daughter's shoulders Esme seemed to be able to reassure her even without words.

Maddie was indeed nervous.

She knew she had screwed up and she felt so bad because of what could have happened – but she really hadn't anticipated it would turn out like that. She had achieved the exact opposite of what she had intended to do – but that happened more often than not, it seemed.

Much too quickly for her liking they reached the living room and it was only Jasper and Carlisle waiting for them.

When Esme and Maddie came to a halt by the couch, Carlisle briefly cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Rose told us what you've done," he said, and Maddie glanced at him guiltily before she hung her head again.

"She also told us why you chose to influence Jasper," he went on as she kept quiet and refused to lift her eyes to meet his.

Esme let her hand run through her daughter's dark hair in a caring manner, then left her side to stand next to her husband.

The girl had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach and immediately felt a little lost and alone as she stood in the middle of the room with her parents standing in front of her and Jasper still seated on the couch, his eyes boring a burning hole into the side of her head.

"Do you think it was a good idea?"

Maddie shrugged her shoulders helplessly. She had thought it would help the family, but now she knew that she had been so wrong. Instead of helping, she had just managed to make everything worse in the end.

"Do you?"

Now she just shook her head to answer her father's question. Only an idiot would still think that it had been a good idea. It was ridiculous and stupid, nothing more. And trying to convince the rest of them that it had been brilliant would definitely not work. Well, technically they had forever, so she could spent quite a while trying, but she did not think she'd eventually succeed in changing their minds about this. Heck, if even she realised that it had been idiotic, then how in the world was she supposed to make someone else believe that it wasn't?

"We cannot ignore what happened and what could have happened."

She didn't trust her voice enough to not quiver or come out as a whine, and so she just nodded her head a little, hoping her father would see it and not insist she'd give him a verbal answer. It had been obvious right from the moment Jasper stormed into the house and accused her of manipulating him that they wouldn't let her meddling slide and just ignore that it ever happened. However, she was not prepared for what Carlisle would say next.

"We will handle the situation a little differently this time. I do think that it is Jasper who's mostly impacted by your use of your ability, so we decided that it would be best to leave it up to him to choose how do deal with your gross ignorance of the rules and the fact that you hazarded the safety of the entire family and this town."

Maddie gasped and lifted her head, gaping at Carlisle.

_This could not be happening..._

Like he was not at all fazed by her shocked expression or didn't even notice it, the blonde doctor turned his head to look at his son who still hadn't moved from the couch. "Jasper, it is up to you now. What have you decided on?"

Maddie glanced at him and noticed how he gave her a look that she couldn't quite read. "Let's go for a walk," he said in a steady voice while he gazed penetratingly into her eyes.

Leave the house, so it would only be the two of them? With no one else around?

It took their father only a few seconds to contemplate this idea.

"Very well," Carlisle replied and nodded his head in agreement.

_Seriously?_

Hearing him say that seemed to give her her voice and even some courage back, because her head snapped back around and she was determined to plead with him to change his mind. He always dealt with everything himself, so why would he suddenly let Jasper of all people take care of her mistake? "Dad, I'm really sorry, I-"

He cut her off by holding up a hand to silence her. "Go with your brother." was all he said.

She felt her breath catch in her throat at these words. So she really would be at Jasper's mercy now. That guy didn't know what sympathy or mercy was, and he wouldn't have mercy on anyone, much less her. Also, considering how angry he had been with her and probably still was, he was going to kill her.

Jasper got up from the couch and casually walked over to the porch door, opening it. Then he looked back over his shoulder at her. "I'm waiting," he stated.

No. No, there was no way in hell she would go with him. Okay, she had screwed up and wronged Jasper, but … this? He would beat the living shit out of her, and they were completely okay with that? Didn't they know what he would do once they were far enough away from the house?

Esme must have noticed her confusion and anxiety, because she stepped behind her and put her hands on her shoulders, letting her thumbs rub over her shoulder blades. It was a comforting gesture - this time, however, it did not have the desired effect.

Maddie felt completely forlorn.

"Madeline, go," Carlisle told her and nodded his head in the direction of where Jasper stood waiting.

She looked at him but there wasn't even the slightest hint of concern or sympathy in his eyes, and she also couldn't detect anything that would have shown her that he was just trying to test her. She wasn't a child anymore, so she would understand if he was just trying to see if she was still committed to this coven, still willing to submit to his authority and if she trusted him to make the right decisions concerning them – but he wasn't testing her.

He was serious.

"Mama?" she whispered fearfully and looked up at Esme's face, who still had her hands on her shoulders. She wasn't sure if she herself was trembling without noticing or if her mother's hands were shaking, but the feeling was not calming her in the least.

"It's okay, sweetie, just go with Jasper."

Tears form in the corners of her eyes and her voice turned frantic when she pleaded, "No, Mom, please, I-"

"Listen to your brother, Madeline, it's all right. Just go," Esme said and gently pushed her in the direction of the open porch door and Jasper.

Again, the anxiety and nervousness increased the moment her mother let go of her, and she felt like she was walking to her own execution.

She felt betrayed that they would suddenly change the rules and let Jasper decide on whatever punishment he saw fit. This wasn't his coven, he wasn't in charge here... but apparently he would be in charge of her for the next... hour? Hour_s_? Until the end of time? She had no idea.

There was no doubt in her mind that the hurt she was feeling about her mother letting this happen was showing in her eyes, but Carlisle just placed a hand on Esme's shoulder and neither of them said a word.

Gulping down the venom that was clogging her throat, she turned away from them and slowly walked over to Jasper who held the door for her. She looked back at Carlisle and Esme one last time, still unable to understand why they would do that.

If she called Rose or Emmett now, would they help? Or would it only make everything worse?

While she was trying to make a decision and still gazed back over her shoulder at her parents, she reached Jasper way too quickly without even noticing. He put a hand on her back and guided her outside, then shut the door.

Great.

"We're going to the forest," he informed her and pointed to his right so she would see where exactly he wanted to enter the surrounding forest.

Keeping his hand firmly pressed against her back, he made her descend the porch steps with him, before walking across their moist lawn and over to where tall trees marked the border between their property and the forestland.

It was the same path they took when they went hunting, but even though her throat seemed parched, she didn't feel the urge to chase after a deer as the pain was not rooted in thirst but in fear and desperately trying to keep herself from crying.

When they passed the first few trees and headed deeper into this gigantic damp cave of thick branches, ferns and rocks, Maddie thought about making a run for a it. She was outside with only one other person... but Jasper was quite fast and strong, and if he had complete authority over her now, it wouldn't be wise to piss him off further, she figured.

But why would Carlisle do that? And even Esme had agreed? That was so unlike her...

So even more things had changed.

She _really _didn't like this place – everything had been better in Forks. And it had been closer to Alaska. The thought of living so far away from Denali made her throat constrict tightly again, increasing the pain. ... Hey, would she still be able to see Tanya and the others or was this also not possible anymore?

Her mind raced with thoughts about a dark and sad future and how everything was suddenly going downhill, when Jasper suddenly pulled her from her panic by simply saying, "Stop that."

She gave a start and stood stock still, as she had almost forgotten where she was and who she was with. "Huh?"

He came to a halt just a few feet from her. "You are getting worked up over something," he stated with a raised eyebrow, "and I want you to stop."

_Asshole._

His tone of voice, together with the look he was giving her and her inner emotional turmoil brought out an emotion that often appeared when she didn't know how to handle the stress of too many influences at once.

Anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she apologised, but with a very heavy sarcastic undertone. "Leisurely walks through the forest are always making me nervous. My bad."

The look in his eyes changed and it immediately silenced her. Still, the thought of running popped up in her mind again and she was seriously considering just giving it a try.

He tzked. "Don't embarrass yourself by trying to outrun me. You don't stand a chance, little girl. Now _come__,_" he ordered and walked on.

She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him, knowing he would sooner or later see it.

And indeed, he turned back around, looking at her with this stupid, raised eyebrow again. "I _said _come. You are supposed to listen to me, remember?"

Yes, she remembered. She remembered quite clearly.

"This isn't fair," she complained and had to suppress the urge to stomp her foot.

He looked her up and down with narrowed eyes, having noticed her knee twitching. "Nothing is fair, now get a move on or I will drag you," he threatened.

She stayed exactly where she was.

He sighed, then made to grab her by the upper arm, but she moved out of his reach and glowered at him. "Don't touch me," she hissed at him through gritted teeth.

Then she walked on in the same direction before she had stopped.

It wasn't much further until Jasper pointed to a fallen tree, and they sat down. Maddie made sure there would be some distance between them – just as a precaution.

Neither of them said a word as they just sat there, staring at the muddy ground and the mossy tree trunks. The rainfall had ceased even before they had left the house, but raindrops were still dripping from the leaves and branches overhead, making it seem like it had never stopped.

Jasper cleared his throat, and she snapped her head around to look at him. "What?" she asked in a sharper tone than she had intended. The situation was making her irritable, it seemed.

He waited for her to put the attitude away and get a grip on herself, before he said in a calm voice, "You haven't apologised yet. Don't you have any manners?"

She swallowed heavily. While she knew that she had landed herself in this situation and that there was no one else to blame for her bad decision, she still found it to be exceedingly uncomfortable and embarrassing to talk about it. Yes, he had just reminded her of her stupidity and the heavy shame made her wish for the ground to open and swallow her up.

Shamefaced, her eyes on the ground, she said in a subdued voice, "I'm sorry." She _was _sorry, he should know.

He didn't say anything, and so she looked back up into his face to check if her reply had angered him or if he would accept her apology.

His eyes bore into hers, and just when she felt she couldn't hold his penetrating gaze any longer, he slapped his hands down on his knees. The sharp noise made her jump.

"You know, I don't feel like wasting my time sitting around the forest with you and I really don't care about your alleged 'intentions'. It's your actions that count, and with your manipulation you compelled me to go into a blood frenzy that would have ended many lives and exposed us for what we are. You knew of that risk," he accused, and when he went on his voice was lower, sharper and resembled a hiss that made Maddie feel a sense of foreboding creep upon her.

"This will never happen again, because I won't allow it. I will make damn sure that you learn what this disgusting habit of manipulating others will get you. Trust me."

She didn't necessarily trust him, but she believed him when he said that he would make her pay.

He reached out and quickly seized her by the upper arm, then pulled her swiftly over his lap.

It happened so fast, she didn't even have time to react, but now that she was looking at the forest floor, she cursed herself for not having anticipated this and tried to run when she still had the chance.

Maybe she should be glad that he didn't dismember her or set her on fire, but since he hadn't started yet, it could still be just as painful, if not more.

To make sure that he wouldn't have a reason to beat her even more than he was already planning to, she tried her hardest not to jump up and run even though she could do that as he wasn't holding her down yet... but she figured she shouldn't risk it.

The nervousness and fearful anticipation of what would await her now made her mind go blank for a moment and her body started trembling slightly.

She waited.

When she felt his right hand on her waist, she held her breath and tried to brace herself for what was about to come.

Any second now and he would begin... maybe she should be glad that at least he didn't use a belt and that her clothes were still covering the spots he was obviously aiming for and that would suffer most.

He tightened his grip just like Carlisle did right before he would begin, and she squinted her eyes shut in anticipation of the pain his hand would bring.

Seconds passed and she waited, listening for the sound of the first burning smack and expecting to feel it directly afterwards, but it didn't come. Instead she only heard him mutter a single word.

"_Peculiar._"

* * *

**Still not really any bonding yet... hm, maybe I'm doing it wrong, LOL**

**Next chapter will be up soon! Thank you for reading and let me know what you think! :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

Maddie felt herself being pushed off his lap and she fell to the wet forest floor, barely able to put her hands out in time before she would have landed face first in a puddle of mud. She looked up at Jasper with wide eyes and her mouth agape, too shocked to say anything and unable to grasp what had just happened.

He crossed his legs and bent forward to lean his forearms on his raised knee while blinking his eyes and looking straight ahead – it was like he didn't even see her even though she was right in front of him and he had just shoved her.

Suddenly he looked at her thoughtfully, asking, "What is wrong with you?"

He didn't sound angry and it wasn't supposed to be a rhetorical question – no, he was genuinely curious.

The confusion that surged through her immobilised her, and so she just continued to gape at him without even daring to breathe.

"I mean it, what is wrong with you?" he asked her in a soft voice, and hearing that he wasn't in any way aggressive or frightening, she drew a hesitant breath and blinked her eyes.

Sitting up on her knees, she looked at her dirty hands and quickly wiped them on the front of her shirt. "Huh?"

"I'd just like to understand," he said.

And she'd like to understand what it was he wanted to know or why he acted like a crazy person...

"I-I...," she stammered, utterly confused now.

He shook his head. "You would have let me discipline you for something you haven't done?"

Now she could feel her face scrunch up – she had no idea what was going on.

"That doesn't make any sense, so why would you do that?" he queried, still not making this any easier for her to understand.

He had told her that all of this was her fault, that she had manipulated him... but now he was suddenly convinced that she hadn't?

"Did you hit your head?" she asked carefully and scooted back a little to put more distance between them. The wet branches of a fern slapped against her upper arm and the moisture seeped through the fabric of her shirt right onto her skin, but she paid it no mind.

"No. You are not reacting like you should... why is that?"

"Huh?" She had half a mind to run home and tell the rest of the family that Jasper had gone crazy... but maybe they already knew.

"Your survival instinct, fight or flight," he explained to her, before letting out a frustrated groan that sounded almost like a growl while he raked his hand through his blonde locks in agitation. "I've been unfair with you, I threatened you, I even insulted you and your gift – and all you do is stare at me and apologise?! And then you were lying over my knees... I didn't even hold you down, you had ample opportunity to run from me or lash out – but you did nothing of that sort! How... _why_?" Then he gave her a look of disbelief and waited for her to say something.

Hearing that he was getting angry again as his tone was sharper and his eyes darkened, Maddie just let out a quiet whimper. She was so confused, she felt like crying.

"There was only one moment where you at least showed some kind of anger and resistance! Only one! I tried to provoke you so you would feel the need to defend yourself, but – nothing! You didn't even influence me!" he raged, then put his hands on either side of himself on the fallen tree and breathed heavily while looking away from her like she disgusted him.

She bit her lip and looked in the direction they had come from, calculating her chances of getting away. Maybe she could run from him and make it home before he would catch up to her... but Carlisle and Esme expected her to listen to him, so running would only make everything worse.

He must have noticed that him raising his voice was just confusing her even more, and so he exhaled a long breath that was probably supposed to calm him and he closed his eyes for a brief moment.

Shaking his head, he continued in a very quiet voice, "Nobody of our kind would willingly submit to an unjust punishment that would clearly bring pain but no gain. You need to explain this to me."

His eyes were locked on hers, and she squirmed.

"I don't understand," she whined and looked away.

He released a long, gutteral groan like he was annoyed that she was so stupid... "Why didn't you fight me?" he clarified.

Finally a question she could answer. "I'm not supposed to. And I used my ability on-"

"Get up from the ground and sit down next to me," he ordered.

She slowly pushed herself up from the ground and stood, but didn't immediately take her previous seat on the deadfall. She was feeling wary as she had trouble understanding what he was getting at or why he had suddenly changed his mind – and she didn't know what would happen next. The quick changes in his behaviour were unsettling and made him unpredictable and a little scary.

Maddie was incredibly glad that he had decided against smacking her and that she was still unharmed, but the way he was behaving at the moment made her fear what would await her now. And just like before, thoughts of running popped up in her mind again.

He looked at her expectantly as her eyes darted back and forth between him and the direction that would lead her back to their new home. And just when she made the decision to try her luck and just take off, she suddenly felt so much calmer and just slumped down on the old, fallen tree again.

He cleared his throat. "What did you want to say?"

Biting her lip, she answered in a subdued voice, "I used my ability on you without permission."

"And what did I just do?"

She frowned at him for a moment before she realised what he meant. "You calmed me."

Then he just blinked at her like he was expecting her to say some more.

"You just used yours on me," she concluded, making him nod.

Phew, she was glad that she finally didn't have to feel so stupid anymore.

"But that is different," she argued and shook her head at him. "You did it so I wouldn't feel nervous."

"And you did it so I wouldn't doubt my self-control anymore."

While that was true, she thought he had said he didn't care about her motive or her intentions. He could have killed tons of people, because of her, and now he was telling her that it's okay because she had only meant well by influencing him?

"Um..."

"Take your time, you'll get there."

"You're not mad at me...," she said after a minute, voicing her guess. Yes, she really had taken her time, because when he thought she was daft, then she could make him wait a little, right? And it had actually been the only thing that sprang to her mind at the moment.

He shook his head. "No, I was," he corrected. "Believe me, I was, but then Rose told us that I got it all wrong. You wanted to help – and I thought you were being selfish."

While she couldn't really blush anymore, she still felt her face heating up with embarrassment. "I was... I didn't like how different everyone suddenly was. I thought this would help," she admitted, her eyes downcast. She felt horrible that such a low motive had driven her to influence him and cause such a mess.

He almost snorted. "That's not what I would consider selfish. I change people's emotions often for all kinds of reasons... you had good intentions when you influenced me. It would have been nice to know beforehand and to be asked for permission _and_ it would be great if you would use your head a little more... but I don't see why you should be in trouble. Have I ever asked for your permission when I changed your emotions? Does Edward ask when he wants to read someone's mind?"

Neither of them had ever asked her if she would mind that they invade her privacy like that. It had taken a while for her to understand that they didn't always have their abilities under control, and that they didn't mean her any harm when they just read her private thoughts or changed the way she was feeling. While she could decide to turn all of them into puppets, they could bore their way into her mind or her emotional state 24/7, and she probably wouldn't even notice it. For the first few months, she had felt truly uncomfortable in their presence because of that.

"Carlisle said it's different, because I choose to use it and you guys cannot help it."

He cracked a smirk. "That's what Edward made him believe. Of course we can block emotions, thoughts, visions... we have lived like this long enough that it doesn't take much effort."

What he just said made Maddie feel a little better about herself. She wasn't a bad person for using her ability as it was a part of her, and even though she couldn't always anticipate the consequences of her influence over others, it was no more disrespectful and ignorant than what her siblings did with their abilities. But she didn't like to hear that they had intentionally invaded her privacy. And she didn't like that she was still feeling nervous.

"You were going to smack me," she remarked when she noticed that Jasper had stopped asking stupid questions. It sounded more like a statement than an accusation. Since she had expected to be in trouble for what she'd done, she couldn't blame him or anyone else for wanting to punish her.

"When I came home, I was," he admitted. "But just now? No, I wasn't. I just needed to know for sure."

"But you wanted to smack me other times."

"I most certainly did – but not this time. I was just trying to get a reaction from you. And You. Did. Nothing. Absolutely _nothing!_" he replied, getting angry all over again. "Why do you even have an ability when you don't use it in situations like these?! I was going to hurt you!"

"You just said you weren't!" she retorted, sounding appalled that he had meant to hurt her after all. _What a-_

"But you didn't know that! I can't believe you showed not even the slightest trace of defensive behaviour!" Frustrated with her and the situation and maybe even more things Maddie didn't know about, Jasper banged his fist down on the tree they were sitting on, making it break in half and sending pieces of bark and splinters of wood into the air.

She flinched back at seeing him losing it like that, then yelled, "Carlisle said you're in charge! I'd be in trouble with him if I had fought you!"

"Do you really think he'd have given me permission to whip you?" he queried and blinked at her like he thought she was completely demented. "Me? What makes you think he would do that?"

"How was I supposed to know?!"

He took a calming breath like before, and Maddie hoped dearly it would indeed calm him.

"That's just... I don't even have words to describe how mad I am right now," he said through gritted teeth.

Well, at least he wasn't yelling anymore and referred from breaking things.

"The only advantage you have is your gift, and you little idiot don't use it...," he pressed out, all the while shaking his head.

Luckily she wasn't scared anymore, because at the moment she was really, _really_ mad at Jasper. He let her believe that he was going to break her in two for influencing him, and now he was telling her that she should have done it _again_?

She got up and turned to glare at him, her hands balled up into fists. "You're the idiot here! I couldn't have used it because I was face down over your fucking knees!"

He huffed. "I don't even know how often I just stared into your eyes – what more do you need, huh?"

Damn, he really had done that... "I'm not supposed to misuse it!" she shot back.

He quickly seized her by the arm and pulled her back down to sit next to him again. It was obvious that he was still not as calm as he tried to be because his eyes colour was far from golden, but he kept his voice as soft as possible when he spoke again.

"Then explain to me how you are misusing it when you are in a possibly dangerous situation and need to protect yourself. You are unskilled and inexperienced. You are smaller, slower and weaker than me. You're a fucking child. I could kill you in less than a second."

She jumped up again at hearing that. He dared to call her a child and then told her he could easily kill her? What a jerk! "You just said you weren't going to hurt me!" she shouted, angry and shocked at the same time.

"You. Didn't. Know," he growled. "Gah, why can't you understand that?"

"No, I get it," she snapped and folded her arms across her chest. "You were testing me. Real clever, Jasper, bravo. Problem is, that it doesn't make any sense, because I don't need to be on the alert around you or anyone else. I'd be perfectly fine in a dangerous situation."

"I really have half a mind to slap you right now. You froze in fear and you were immediately convinced that you had made a mistake just because I yelled at you. You felt guilty."

That was true... she had felt that way. But that didn't prove that she wouldn't be able to fight if her life was in danger. "So? I can feel whatever I want, and I don't get why I'm not allowed to be a little scared when a lunatic is yelling at me," she stated petulantly.

He put his head back and covered his face with both of his hands while he let out a groan. "Because you weren't guilty, so that emotion didn't make sense."

Placing his hands on his knees, he then looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Your first reaction should always be to defend yourself, you didn't even so much as hiss at me. Show strength, not weakness. When someone accuses you of something you haven't done, then you cannot just let them convince you that you are guilty and accept consequences! You are so easy to manipulate, it makes me sick."

"Hey! I-" she started to protest, but he immediately cut her off by letting out a growl, then grabbed her and pulled her back down to sit next to him again.

"You can't defend yourself and you don't even know how to use your talent, otherwise you wouldn't doubt it so much."

"Shut up, that's not true! I know exactly what I'm doing and I don't doubt it," she retorted, then muttered under her breath, "it just goes wrong sometimes..."

He rubbed a hand over his face, groaning.

He liked groaning and growling, it seemed.

"And I didn't need to defend myself," she told him, "because we weren't alone. Rose and Emmett-"

"They won't always be there. And reacting to a threat is an instinct - growl, hiss, go into a defensive stance - but you cowered away."

"Because Rose and-"

"Yes, _they_ acted on instinct, they instinctively hissed and growled to warn me and make me back off, then Rose stood in front of you - that's a protective instinct. You, however, did fucking nothing, and don't you dare tell me it's because they were protecting you. An instinct is an instinct."

She huffed and turned her head away, not knowing what he expected her to say now. She didn't even understand why her emotions were such a big deal to him. Maybe she didn't react like others would - so what?

"Well, don't just sit there, explain yourself!"

"Leave me alone!" she screamed in his face and shoved him away.

* * *

**We're getting closer to some bonding, don't you think? Haha :D**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!**

****Oh, and I think I will update once or twice a week now. Why? World Cup, that's why!****


	5. Chapter 5

Maddie was just in the process of turning away from Jasper after having pushed him, but he quickly reached out and grabbed her wrists tightly while giving her a dark look.

"At least some kind of reaction...," he muttered, then pushed her arms away. "Good."

She stared at him, again feeling confused about how he reacted.

"But don't you do that again," he added as a warning.

Directing her gaze to the ground, she tried to understand just what the heck he wanted from her.

He turned a little more towards her, then ran a hand through his hair and waited for her to look back up at him.

Maddie glanced at him when he shifted but didn't say anything, and the moment their eyes met, his gaze turned softer.

"You know," he said, I think your idea wasn't that bad..."

Instantly her eyes widened. Did he just praise her? This was Jasper, he didn't usually tell her that she'd done a good job with something... maybe he had indeed hit his head and was now suffering from severe brain damage.

"Would have been great to be under that influence on Bella's birthday," he added with a little, sad smile on his lips.

It was weird hearing him speak so quietly again after all the yelling and growling just minutes ago. And this half praise also was weird although it felt quite nice actually - she had never expected him to say something like this to her.

Her mouth turned up at one corner, and it looked almost like she was returning the little smile.

Yes, had she known what would happen, she would have definitely influenced him to make sure he wouldn't be able to smell Bella's blood. The day would have been just like the family had imagined, Jasper would have been able to enjoy it without holding his breath and keeping some distance between himself and the human. They'd still be home and not in this stupid, ugly house and Edward wouldn't have left. If Bella wouldn't have this weird brain condition, she would have even influenced her, so she wouldn't be so annoyingly clumsy anymore and stop bleeding or hurting herself any chance she got. It's almost a miracle that the girl still had all her teeth.

"I can do it again if you want," she offered after a moment of silence.

But he immediately shook his head without even contemplating her idea.

"No, the absence of the human smell and not having to worry about that was liberating, but when your influence wore off, the slightest trace of human scent was already overwhelming."

That seemed to remind her of something, and she frowned. "But it wears off gradually... that doesn't make any sense."

"Yes, it does. I haven't been outside and around humans for the last few days... it wore off during that time, I assume, and while I was out hunting today, I was not under your influence any more and my senses were sharp again."

"Hey, I didn't dull your senses," she protested while pointing a finger at him. "They were still working like they should."

No wonder he'd been so mad at her before...

He shook his head. "Yes, I know that, my brain just didn't register the scent anymore, but you know what I mean."

Nodding, she started chewing on her lip again, looking thoughtful for a moment.

"... I'll repeat it every two weeks maybe, then your bloodlust won't be a problem ever again," she suggested and looked up at him, hoping he would agree. It would be cool to have an important and useful task within the family instead of just cleaning up her room and going to school.

"I'd end up killing the entire town if we would forget one time. Maddie, you need to understand that I'm the weakest link when it comes to controlling our bloodlust, and- "

"You? I am. I lost it during the summer holidays and-"

"That was very unfortunate, but you only had a few drops – not enough to soothe the burning completely. If you have experienced it just once, you'll know how difficult it is after that to keep a firm grip on your urge to feed. I have drained hundreds of humans, so believe me when I say that I am the weakest link," he told her and it came out harsher than intended, because he quickly drew a deep breath and closed his eyes.

He was mad at himself.

Frowning, she watched him for a moment until she remembered something he had said to her previously.

"Hey... what did you mean when you said you had only pretended that you were about to smack me because you needed to know for sure?"

He opened his eyes again and looked at her like he hadn't expected to see her here, but then he cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "When I came home and thought you had made me want to feed on humans, you were feeling fear. It didn't make any sense, especially when I heard what you really had done, it made even less sense."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I could have been scared because I was caught as you had realised that it was part of my evil plan of forcing us to move again."

"No, being caught doesn't make you scared - you don't fear Carlisle. You just feel annoyed that it didn't work and then you are nervous because you know you're in trouble but don't know what to expect."

Tilting her head to the side, she asked, "No fear?"

"No."

"Hm... but sometimes it feels like fear."

"Maybe it does to you, but to me it feels different. I am an empath, Maddie, I know better what you feel than you do."

She snorted at that.

"I do. And since your fear was directed at me, I wanted to know why exactly you were experiencing that emotion and how you would deal with it."

"You know why."

"Now I do, yes. Still, I don't like it. I want you to respect me, but I don't want you to fear me."

"Then stop being annoying or scary all the time," she muttered.

He leaned back and stared at her, and Maddie even thought that she had heard a quiet gasp coming from him.

"So I'm truly scaring you?" he asked quietly.

Maddie cringed a little when she noticed that he was obviously slightly shocked about hearing that. He was good at hiding his emotions when he wanted to, but the look in his eyes showed her that he hadn't really been prepared for that. She felt embarrassed about admitting that he could be scary when he's angry, and she felt bad about having mentioned that, because it had really seemed to take him off guard. She really didn't want him to think that she thought of him as a bad person.

"You only did a couple of times... and today. Usually you're just annoying," she admitted and bit her lip when he continued to stare at her.

Then he blinked his eyes as though her words had finally registered in his mind.

"I'm annoying," he repeated dryly.

"Kinda...," she replied and when he just raised his eyebrows, she quickly added, "but not_ every day_!"

_Well, that didn't seem to make it any better... hm._

"How can you possibly call me annoying when you are the one who is annoying me?" he queried in disbelief.

"Huh?" She shook her head and scratched her nose. "I'm not annoying."

He snorted at that. "Yes, you are. You're loud and too easily distracted, and you never do as your told, especially when __I __tell you to do something!"

"You're annoying whenever you tell me to do something! It's only ever stupid stuff you want me to do!"

"You are failing your classes, and when I tell you to do your homework and show it to me so I can help you, I'm being annoying?"

"Yes!"

"Now that's interesting...," he muttered and looked up into the tree crowns like he had just noticed for the first time that the rain drops falling from overhead had become less and less and a slight shimmer of sunlight was now breaking through the thick branches and leaves and illuminated the dull forest clearing.

"Who cares about school? We just moved, so it doesn't matter if I wasn't a good student at my old school. Now we have to start over again anyways," she said while her tone of voice turned noticably sadder at the end.

"That is no reason to slack of. School will give you something productive to do instead of just lying in front of the TV or playing video games all day."

She screwed up her nose.

"Believe me."

"I'd rather not. Besides, I'm training my fingers with the controllers... you need to be quick, but if you hit the buttons too hard, they'll break. That way I have enough practice to not hurt any humans when I touch them."

Yes, she had spent enough time with Emmett to know that he loved using that excuse. And she couldn't blame him, it was an awesome excuse after all.

"You can achieve the same results by holding a pencil and writing something down, or turning the page of a book."

"I do read," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"For fun," he added and it sounded as though he was disapproving of doing something for fun.

Her face scrunched up in confusion. "Why else would I read something? You aren't making any sense. You have lived for so long already and spent way too much time not having any fun... maybe you should start now."

"What makes you think that I don't have any fun?"

"I'm not talking about what you do with Alice," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Me neither."

Maddie knew that that was exactly what he was talking about. They were married, it was okay for them to have sex and enjoy it, geez. He loved spending time with his wife - well, except for the shopping trips. He didn't have any patience for that and Alice quickly grew frustrated with his lack of enthusiasm.

"And what happens between Alice and me in our room is none of your business," he told her while eyeing her.

"Trust me, I don't wanna know what you do, so maybe you should keep it down or soundproof the room."

His eyes narrowed. "Do you talk to Carlisle and Esme like that?"

"No? Heck, for the first few months Edward always took me on a run or a drive to the beach when they and everyone else were going at it. Took me a while to realise, but he always made sure we would leave the house before you would start getting down and dirty."

She looked down at her hands and felt a tiny wave of sadness wash over her at the mention of her brother.

"You miss him, don't you?"

Taking a deep breath, she rubbed her hands over her thighs. "We're done here, aren't we? You just wanted to ask me stupid questions and I answered them. I wanna go back now," she said and made to get up, but Jasper stretched out his arm to hinder from doing so.

"He will come back," he told her in a soft voice, sounding almost as though he was trying to comfort her, "and our new home won't be that bad as soon as we have settled in."

She looked over at him, then slowly sat back down on the fallen tree and bit her lip. "Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

"Before Alice and I found the rest of the family, Edward had already spend a decade away from Carlisle and Esme. He came back. And we have moved so many times already, that I can guarantee you that this place is as good as any other."

"I don't like it here."

She looked at the ground and felt gloomy and sad again.

"You're not good with changes, hm?"

"Only the ones I cannot influence."

He nodded his head, obviously agreeing with her that changes were always easier when they didn't just happen and you had no other choice but to live with them and learn to accept them. "You'll get used to it."

"I don't think I really want to get used to it."

"Well, there is no other way, you don't have a choice. None of us does. We live forever and so we have to move more frequently than other people. Find a new place, settle down, start over. That's what it has been like for a very long time now."

She lifted her head and her eyes widened slightly as an idea came to her mind. "We could go to Denali and stay there!" It would be so cool to spend more time with their relatives, and they lived so secluded that nobody would notice them being different, because the people would barely get to see them. There was enough wildlife for them to hunt and drain, and she already knew that place and knew that she liked it there. So why stay in a place where nobody seemed to be happy when they could just as well go somewhere where everybody felt comfortable and content? It might even make Edward come back.

He just raised an eyebrow. "You wish to move back to Alaska with us? So many happy memories, huh?"

She turned her head away because his mocking tone and his words hurt her. Whenever she thought back to the time she had been in Alaska with them, she only remembered the rage and fear, the pain of the transformation and the thirst. She remembered the heavy confusion and the desperation, and she remembered that she had loathed them for having stripped her of her rights, her freedom and her choice. And forcing a life on her she hadn't wanted.

But her memories of Denali were good ones, and she missed the place and the people that had helped her through hard times and showed her that you didn't need to have a beating heart to feel alive.

He must have felt what his remark had caused within her, because he immediately tried to apologise. "I'm sorry, I did not mean-," he started to say and made to put a comforting hand on her shoulder when she suddenly snapped her head around and glared at him.

"Fuck you," she growled and evaded his touch by scooting away from him, then turned her head away again.

His hand dropped back to his side and his eyes narrowed. "Hey, don't you talk to me like that."

Letting out a huff, she got up from the tree and turned to face him. "But you can say whatever you want to me?"

He swallowed. "No, of course not. And I told you I'm sorry, I did not mean to say that."

"Then why did you?"

"It just slipped out."

She looked at him like she didn't believe a word he was saying. "Right," she scoffed.

"You don't believe this happens to me?"

And she just shook her head.

"But it does. Not as much as it used to, but still - more times than you would believe."

"No," she replied, refusing to believe him.

"Come," he said and motioned with his hand at the deadfall, so she would sit back down. She hesitated for a moment, but then slowly took her previous seat.

"I am almost 150 years older than you, but I was young once and it took me a while to be able to control my mouth and my emotions. But I grew up a little over the years, and you will too. We don't physically change, but we still change in a way. The times change and you learn over time, you change over time."

Admittedly, she didn't believe him that he had ever been any different than how he was now.

"Change? Why would _I_ change?" She still didn't like changes and she wasn't looking forward to more unexpected changes heading their way. And she didn't want to change.

"Because the world changes. Life changes. For example, we didn't have any cars or cell phones when I was growing up. Now look around you."

"A car changed your life? That's sad."

He groaned, like he was annoyed that she was always focussing on the wrong things in a conversation. "You know exactly what I mean. It's how the world is, the people that surround you, the city you live in. Everything changes, people learn from past mistakes and give their knowledge onto the next generation - history books become bigger and bigger, because-"

"Yesterday is history."

"Yes."

It grew silent between them again, and Jasper looked like he regretted not being able to comfort her in any way. She was sure that nothing he could say would be able to cheer her up or distract her.

"You know, I've never told you about my sister."

As she didn't seem to understand, she hesitantly asked, "Rose?"

She knew her already, there was no need to tell her about her.

"No, I had a sister in my human life."

Her eyes widened before she started to frown. She had no idea why he was telling her about her, and she was surprised how little she knew about all of them.

"She was younger than me," he said.

"... okay?"

"And you reminded me of her."

She felt her eyes widen again. "What? How?"

"I don't know, you have the same eye colour so maybe-"

"Nuh-uh, I'm pretty sure we are not related," she told him and leaned back, holding her hands up with the palms facing him. What a ridiculous thought... and didn't he come from Texas?

"That's not what I meant," he replied and shook his head. "I was just reminded of her when I saw you. Maybe it's just your age... she was fourteen the last time I saw her."

"And... why are you telling me this?"

"Do you have any idea how weird it feels to have a memory suddenly appear - and a memory of your emotions at that?"

"Um..."

"I hadn't thought about my human past or my other past for a while, because I am content with my life as it is."

"No, you're happy with it. You can say it," she prompted him, knowing that he used to have a lot of problems with adapting to the different diet and their cover, but now he actually enjoyed this family setting, the hunting trips and even school. At least that's what Edward had told her.

"Well, nevertheless I was very surprised, and I think you must have triggered it when I saw you."

It was uncomfortable talking about the days before she was changed. There were barely any moments when she hadn't been scared or in pain, and since her human memories were so foggy now... she was sure there hadn't been many happy moments. And the ones who had been okay definitely didn't involve him.

She wanted to forget about that and rather talk about something different, and since it was so silent because Jasper looked like he was deep in thought, she quietly asked, "What's her name?"

"Celia," he whispered.

A name of a stranger she had never met. She didn't feel anything - no curiosity, no compassion, no nothing.

"You know, I was reminded of how I felt about her - she was younger than me, and so I was the big brother who watched over her and took care of her."

Maddie glanced at him, because she didn't know why he would suddenly want a walk down memory lane - and share it with her. She wouldn't share her memories with him, so... huh?

"I wanted to protect her and help her."

"Help her with what?"

"I wanted to guide her and be a good role model. See to it that she would have a wonderful childhood and study hard so she would be able to make the best of her life."

"Is she still alive?" she asked, before she realised that she would be almost as old as Jasper now. And he was _old_. _Really old_.

Stupid question.

"She died almost a century ago, a married woman with two sons," he told her in an even voice, but when he swallowed, she could see that despite the years that had passed, her death still affected him and he missed her.

Would she feel the same in hundred years? Still miss her family with the same intensity as she did now? They always told her that time heals all wounds, and she had figured that if enough time passed, it might be true. Now, however, she was not so sure anymore.

"Did you... see her again?"

"Hm?" he queried, shook his head a little and looked at her like he had been deep in thought and forgotten where he was. "No. No, of course not. I was leading a different life, she wouldn't have understood. I wasn't a part of my human family anymore, I had moved on and they had to do the same. Life goes on, it always does."

"You never tried to see her again, even though she was still alive?" she asked in disbelief and he just shook his head.

"Are you retarded?" she queried, her eyes narrowed as she couldn't comprehend why he hadn't looked for his family even though he missed them.

He took in a sharp breath. "Excuse me?"

"How could you be so stupid? How could you not want to see your family again?!" He was alive, they were alive – it didn't make any sense to her.

"I wanted to see them again, but they wouldn't have understood what I had become."

She knew that he was trying to explain it to her and make her understand, but this was just stupid.

She snorted. "That's bullshit and you know it. You understood fairly quickly what you had become, right? So why wouldn't they? Do you come from a... moron family or something? Were they all demented and stupid?"

"Don't you talk about them like that."

"Well, that's what _you_ are doing. You wasted the chance to see them again or at least say good bye to them, and now you will always ask yourself what had become of them, if they had been happy, what you could have changed to help them and-"

"Enough," he said decisively to stop her, "That's not what I want to talk about."

"But I do," she replied and continued like he had never interrupted her. "Didn't you ever ask yourself if they maybe would have understood had you told them, and then you could have seen them again as often as you wanted to? Just think about it! You could have-"

"I __said__, that is not what I want to talk about." It sounded like he was warning her to drop the subject or else, but Maddie had just gotten started. She really wanted to know his reasoning for not seeking out his family, because it would have been the first thing she'd have done.

"But-"

"_No!_" he shouted at her with dark eyes and balled fists.

She huffed and folded her arms.

His jaw clenched. "You have absolutely no reason to be huffy right now."

"I'm going home now," she said and got up, but he cleared his throat the moment her back was turned on him.

"No, you are not," he told her in a stern voice, "Sit back down, we are not done here."

"Says who?" she queried, but didn't wait for an answer as she just continued to walk in the direction they had come from.

"Madel-"

And she flipped him the bird before he could even finish calling her name.

* * *

**Come on, that looks a little bit like bonding, doesn't it? Fine, maybe not the ending, but just wait for it, guys.**

**And I'm sorry for the wait, but I just didn't have much time lately - heck, I didn't even have time to reply to your reviews... I'll do my best not to let it happen again. And the World Cup is over soon - tomorrow are the quarter-finals, whoop whoop! :D**

** Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone, next chapter will be up soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

Esme was pacing the length of the living room ever since her children had left the house, chewing on her fingernails while her eyes were darting about as she was just too nervous to do anything else.

"Esme, love, please calm yourself and take a seat. You are making me nervous as well."

She turned her head and let her hand drop back to her side. "I can't help it, Carlisle... oh, I'll just go outside so I won't bother you anymore."

With that said, she hurried over to the French windows that would open up to their wooden back porch and hoped she could make it to the forest before Carlisle would even get a chance to realise what she was actually planning on doing.

"Stop right there," he quickly said, his voice louder now as she was just about to vanish outside. He couldn't let her disturb their children now, no matter how nervous or fearful she was at the moment. "You are not going to find them now, Esme. Leave them alone, it'll be fine."

She wheeled around and narrowed her eyes at him. "It'll be _fine_? Carlisle, I don't think we did the right thing by letting them go on their own, this is bound to end in disaster."

Thinking back to what happened half an hour ago and the little talk they had in this very room, Esme couldn't help but see her daughter's face again and again when she was told to go with Jasper. Her eyes had held so much hurt and betrayal, that she had to hold her breath to keep herself from yelling at them that she wouldn't let this happen. But Carlisle had reached out his hand and put it on her forearm to remind her that this was for the best and that everything would be all right.

Now Esme wasn't so sure anymore.

They had let Maddie believe that Jasper was going to discipline her, even though he wasn't allowed to – but the poor girl didn't know. Had it really been necessary to scare her like this? Carlisle was convinced that it would help to get her to talk and explain her motivation to Jasper - he had feared that she would just be her stubborn self and ignore her older brother as long as she thought he had no authority over her.

No, she had to end this, get her two children back to the house, sit them down and talk to them about it.

As soon as she grabbed the door handle, she could hear her husband's sharp intake of breath.

"Esme," Carlisle said and sat up straighter in his seat as though he was preparing himself to run after her if she'd leave the house now. "Stop."

"I'm just going to water the flowers," she replied nonchalantly, but there was a little nervousness in her voice that she was unable to hide.

It was a lie after all.

He chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "You want to water the flowers after it has just rained for hours on end? While I'm no botanist, I do believe that it wouldn't do much good, let alone make any sense."

Her shoulders sagged and she blew out a sigh, then turned to look at him. "I have no idea what makes you think that this is going to work out, but I don't feel confident that we have done any of them a favour. I'll go get them now."

"Do you really think they are not able to talk things through? They are old enough to handle their differences or at least this one - on their own. Jasper wanted to talk to her, why do you want to hinder him from doing so?"

"It's not the talking that worries me."

Sighing, he shook his head. "He won't harm her, Esme," he replied confidently. "And Maddie won't do anything either. Just give them some time, putting their differences of the last few years aside will take a little more than just five minutes."

"They've gone for a lot longer than five minutes already," she retorted, and he just shook his head again and pointed at the love seat.

"Please sit down now. Read something, watch the news with me, just try to distract yourself a little. They will be gone for another while. And I do believe it's a good sign that they're not back yet."

She gazed longingly out the window, but eventually withdrew her hand and slowly headed for the couch in the middle of the room and sat down.

He was right. If they would be back by now, it would mean that they had spent the time yelling at each other instead of talking. Now however, it was possible that they were starting to really get to know each other and that would just take as long as it takes.

Esme couldn't sit still, but at least she managed to keep her eyes focussed on the TV instead of glancing at the window again and again.

She liked the thought of these two finally getting along, especially now that they had just moved and no one really seemed to feel comfortable in this place. It had nothing to do with this town or the people who lived here - it was Edward.

It wasn't just the fact that they missed him, but that they did not know where he was and if he would return. He left in a state of complete depression, his heart was broken because he had to break his girlfriend's heart, and the desperation and pain that his decision brought was threatening to crush her son's will to live.

And they had failed him.

Even though they had tried to do whatever they could to help the boy through this, they had clearly not succeeded. He was gone.

And because having one child that was feeling miserable wasn't enough, they had now added two more.

What a way to go.

Esme gave a jump when she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye.

"Oh, honey," she said with a little, apologetic smile and held a hand over her unbeating heart, "you scared me."

Alice gave her a sweet smile and skipped over to her before she slumped down on the couch next to her.

Flinging her dainty arms around her mother's neck, she gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Mom, it's going to be okay. You always worry too much."

With a slight frown on her pale face, Esme replied, "Alice, I-"

"Don't you trust me?" the girl asked and leaned back a bit, tilting her head to the side while she was waiting for an answer.

"I trust you, Alice, you know that."

"They just need a little more time than you are willing to grant them - please don't go looking for them."

"But what if-"

"Hm... no," the spiky-haired pixie replied. "No, I can promise you that _that_ is not going to happen. Both will come back in one piece, no limbs missing."

Carlisle's eyes widened and he gazed at his wife and daughter with a slightly disturbed look on his face, and Alice just grinned back at him and let out a laugh before she hugged her mother tight again.

"Esme," the doctor half-chided, "is that the behaviour you expect from your children? Ripping each other apart?"

"I do not expect it, I... I just cannot help but worry, Carlisle," she apologised, while he just chuckled and shook his head in disbelief.

But Alice's comfort and the visions she was no doubt having, were having a calming effect on the woman's nerves.

Alice pulled away and her lips stretched into a wide smile when she noticed a little tear glistening in Esme's eyes.

"See? Daddy was right."

Esme cupped her daughter's cheek and smiled back at her. "Thank you, Alice. You don't know how much I needed to hear that."

"Believe me, I've seen how much you needed that," she replied and giggled. "And I've seen that you want to watch a movie with me. The news are boring, I already know what happens in the world," she told her, then snatched the remote from her father's knee and switched to a different channel where a romance had just started.

Carlisle distorted his face and quickly grabbed the newspaper from the coffee table to hide his face - he was so not in the mood for a chick flick right now.

* * *

The fact that she was never allowed to ask any questions, but was always supposed to answer tons of them got Maddie fuming with rage. It wasn't fair, and now that she just tried to understand something, she got yelled at.

"Come back here!" Jasper called after her, but instead of doing as she's told, she just continued walking like she hadn't heard him.

She felt a sudden rush of air rustle her hair, right before she was grabbed by the arm and yanked back.

"Don't you just walk away from me when we are having a conversation," he practically growled in her face, then pulled on her arm to make her follow him back to where they had sat before she decided to head home and ignore him.

Maddie could have laughed at how stupid that sounded. _He_ was talking and expected _her_ to be listening, plus she was supposed to answer whatever he asked her. She wasn't even allowed to ask questions! What kind of a conversation was that supposed to be? "Having a conversation? Right. Fuck off, Jasper."

"Mad-"

"Let go of me!" she yelled and tried to shake him off, but his fingers only curled tighter.

"No," he retorted. "Come."

He just dragged her back to the fallen tree, and while he was at it, he calmed her so she would stop putting up such a fight.

Maddie huffed when she noticed how she suddenly stopped digging the heels of her feet into the ground and followed him like a lap dog.

_Jerk._

The moment they sat, he said, "Don't you ever dare talk to me like that again."

"Or what?" she challenged, "You're going to calm me?"

They both knew that he wasn't allowed to do anything. She could talk to him however she wanted - there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. And why should he? It wasn't like he was treating her with any respect, so why did he think that he could command respect from her?

"I don't insult you," he clarified, but she just rolled her eyes like the teenager that she was.

"You think I'm a fucking idiot, and you treat me like that."

"That's not true," he protested.

She just shook her head and looked away. "Oh, shut up, Jasper."

Scooting a little closer to her, he let his forearms rest on his upper thighs and clasped his hands together. He was obviously contemplating something, because a full minute passed until he eventually spoke again.

"What is really upsetting you right now?"

With a glance to the side, she noticed the look on his face and let out a little snort. "Oh wow, I'm starting to think that you aren't any smarter than me..."

He was being so ridiculous... now he suddenly realised that they wouldn't get anywhere with this as long as he refused to let her ask questions. But, of course, he was still convinced that he was infallible and she was just being defiant to annoy him, and now he would have to give in and talk to her about it or she wouldn't tell him anything anymore.

Releasing a sigh, he put both his hands on the bark on either side of him and leaned back a bit. "Fine. If you have a question, then... just ask. I promise you that I'll try to answer it the best I can."

She gave him a certain look, like she was trying to see if he was being honest. She did have a few questions, but she didn't just want answers - she wanted honest answers. It had kept her mind occupied for years now and getting answers to these questions was really important to her - but they would be worth nothing if he didn't take it seriously or just lied to her to make her drop the subject.

She fidgeted with her hands before she asked in a whisper, "What's it like?"

A frown appeared on his forehead. "What's what like?"

She darted a glance at him, and suddenly he knew.

This short moment when their eyes met told him exactly what she wanted to know.

Jasper sighed and shook his head, feeling somewhat exhausted that she still wasn't over that topic. "Why don't you ask Rose that question?" She trusted her, so she should ask her whatever she wanted and needed to know.

"I did," she replied in a quiet voice and squirmed a little, her nervousness peaking as she feared he would refuse to talk about it after she'd tell him what Rose had said.

"And...? Did she tell you anything about her family?"

She slowly nodded her head. "Yes, but when I asked her what it's like, she said I shouldn't ask questions like that."

Admittedly, he also was uncomfortable with the topic. Thinking back to his human life and the people he missed but hadn't been able to see again was painful, and he wasn't sure how telling her about it would be of any help. He knew that she suffered because she missed her family, and so he failed to understand why talking about their experiences and emotions was so important to her when it would only make it worse. And he was definitely not the right person for this.

"Emmett?" he asked.

"I wasn't sure if I could ask him after Rose said that," she admitted quietly and directed her big, sad eyes at him before she lowered her gaze.

"I understand," he replied and swallowed heavily.

She bit her lip and kept her eyes fixed on the ground, but after a minute had passed, she heard him clear his throat and slowly turned her head sideways to look at him.

"You might not like it, but I agree with Rosalie... you shouldn't ask these questions. It will only make you wonder what it would have been like, but we both know it wouldn't change anything."

She hung her head again and he felt her disappointment and sadness engulf him. Of course she was disappointed that she wouldn't get the answers she craved, and her sadness was what drove her to ask questions like that in the first place.

"I think the past is not a good place for your mind to be in," he let her know, and was immediately hit by a wave of defeat.

"But I just wanna know," she mumbled, sounding almost pitiful. Then her voice grew even more quiet as she added, "I... need to know."

"Maddie, I cannot tell you what's worse. You probably miss them all the same - the separation is final. Even though you know they are alive, you don't know how they are and the pain and sadness of not being able to see them is always there. Plus, you feel wretched for the pain you caused them by letting them believe that you are no longer alive," he said then added as though he was only speaking to himself, "At least my family was left in the belief that I fell in battle - Rosalie's family was never able to find closure because she was never found."

Maddie gulped.

"Maybe that's why Rose is the way she is... and maybe that's why she didn't want to talk about it. She's consumed by guilt and pain whenever she's reminded of her family, just like the rest of us who had to leave everything and everyone behind."

He let that sink in for a moment and noticed her flinch when he spoke again.

"Are you satisfied now, huh? Is that what you wanted to know? How painful it is? If it's harder to bear if they are still breathing?"

His tone was harsher than intended, and seeing how her hands started trembling and that her nervousness increased, he could have slapped himself for not keeping a firmer grip on his own emotions. She was feeling bad for bringing it up...

"No, I... I don't know," she stammered.

"Then stop asking yourself what you'd have done if they hadn't died and you would have been changed...," he said in a softer voice now. "You won't find an answer to that and you shouldn't, because it's not going to happen. Tormenting yourself like that won't make them alive again, you won't get to make that choice because you cannot change the past."

He hesitated for a moment, then placed a hand on her shoulder as he saw and felt that she could use some comfort at the moment rather than getting yelled at for working up the courage to ask a question that had been on her mind for a very long time now.

She squirmed under his touch, but did not shake him off.

"Sometimes history repeats itself," she muttered.

Removing his hand from her shoulder as if it had suddenly turned scorching hot, he leaned back and frowned at her. "Are you...? What in the world do you think could happen that you would find yourself in a similar situation? Not being able to see someone ever again even though you know the person's still alive?"

"You tell me."

* * *

**A slightly shorter chapter again, but all the talking is getting a bit much and I want them to go home again... unfortunately they set the pace. Seems like they have never taken the time to just talk and now they just got started and... well, this could take days, LOL Oh well, we'll see what happens.**

**To anon: Aww... you're a little cranky, sweetheart. Go take a nap :)**

**Everyone, thank you so much for reading and leaving a review!**


	7. Chapter 7

_"Sometimes history repeats itself," she muttered._

_Removing his hand from her shoulder as if it had suddenly turned scorching hot, he leaned back and frowned at her. "Are you...? What in the world do you think could happen that you would find yourself in a similar situation? Not being able to see someone ever again even though you know the person's still alive?"_

_"You tell me."_

Jasper felt more and more confused and that emotion brought yet another unpleasant feeling.

Stress.

He realised that his muscles were tensed up and he couldn't remember when exactly he had stopped breathing.

Yes, talking about uncomfortable topics and feelings could be considered stressful, especially when a certain person just wouldn't stop.

Why would she ask so many questions? And what was he supposed to tell her? There were surely a few things their parents didn't want her to talk about or even know about, and so he wasn't entirely sure what to do. They were in charge and he couldn't just ignore that fact and brief her about whatever she thought was crucial for her to know.

Besides, her questions seemed a little odd to him, and while he believed that she had thought a lot about her and their past and had spent quite a while questioning her and their existence in an attempt to understand why death wasn't always final and why she was still here, he had trouble understanding why she was asking this now.

And why she thought he could answer it.

Or why she would want him of all people to answer it.

Lying seemed wrong, so he just needed to figure out why she was steering the conversation into this direction in order to give her a satisfactory answer.

But did he really want or even need to answer her questions? If it was too weird or uncomfortable for him, he could just as well refuse. Heck, he was ranking way above her and wasn't obliged to even hear her out!

She hung her head as though she had realised the same thing, and when her sadness wafted over to him, he knew what he had to do and he knew he couldn't just ignore her.

"Maddie," he began slowly after he had unnecessarily cleared his throat, "are you talking about Edward?"

She just shrugged her shoulders while she started to randomly draw some lines into the mud with the toe of her shoe. It was just zigzag lines, and to him they mirrored the emotions he felt coming off her.

"Or is this about your classmates?" he probed, still unsure how to help her with what was on her mind.

"I don't know," she replied weakly, shrugging her shoulders again.

He frowned, unhappy with her answer, before he realised that she maybe really didn't know. She wasn't talking about anyone or anything specific, at least he wasn't sure if she was. She was just saying what came to her mind, and then waited for his reaction, waited to see if he would tell her more or tell her to shut it. Of course she was scared of what the future would hold for them while the wounds and memories of her past were still so fresh, and that was exactly the reason why she should let go off all that and stop talking about it. Concentrate on what she had now and where she was now. The people she was with.

"You didn't even like them," he remarked, "and Edward will come back soon. Just like last time."

Frowning, she turned her head to look at him and replied, "You said he was gone for a decade... ten years is not soon."

He leaned back while he eyed her weirdly. "Yes, it is," he told her.

With a small sigh, she just shook her head and turned away from him like his statement disappointed her.

Geez, how long would it take for her to eventually call a decade a short period of time? That's just crazy... she had no idea what time was to them.

"And some of the girls were okay... I guess," she mumbled.

He listened and contemplated what she had just said.

"Why do you care so much about humans?"

His question made her glance at him, her forehead creasing ever so slightly. "Why don't you care about humans at all?"

"Don't answer a question with a question," he snapped, but all she did was smile back at him.

Of course that would amuse her. Trying to get a rise out of someone could be considered a teen's favourite pastime.

And yes, she was now waiting for him to go first as she didn't speak and wasn't looking like she was going to start anytime soon.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he then scooted closer to her and clasped his hands together. "I do care about humans, that's why I try to keep my distance from them as much as possible," he said, and she seemed to accept that as an answer even though he could feel that she thought it to be weird.

Now it was her turn.

"Humans are everywhere, and I don't want to be home all the time. But I don't feel good when I'm all on my own... sometimes I just like company, I guess. Have some variety. And I cannot lose touch with my human side... I don't wanna be different," she explained but decided against explaining further when she noticed him tense beside her.

"Don't you think you should spend more time trying to understand our kind, preparing yourself for possible encounters with other vampires or just learn to be what you truly are?" he felt a touch of anger rising as he said that, and then, to his annoyance, she shrugged her shoulders again.

"That's not an answer."

"So?" she queried. "I don't know what you want from me."

He let out a sigh while he ran his fingers through his tussled blond locks. "You really don't know, do you?"

Squirming a little under his gaze, she just asked, "Can we go home now?" While she didn't sound whiny, he knew that she didn't want to talk anymore and so continuing despite her unwillingness would be nothing but tiring. For her and for him.

And what was there to talk about if she had no clue where she belonged to and who or what she truly was?

She didn't know _anything_.

"Sure," he agreed, feeling somewhat drained and tired now.

He helped her up, not that she needed any help, but he figured it would be a good way to show her that he didn't hold any grudges. And he wanted to check and see if everything was more or less okay between them.

She let him pull her up into a standing position, but then walked ahead without waiting up for him.

"Madeline?" he called after her.

"Hm?" she asked and turned around to look at him, but continued walking - this time backwards.

"You might want to dust off, Esme will have a heart attack if she sees you like that."

She scrunched up her face in confusion at his odd remark, then looked down at her clothes and groaned.

Yes, her knees and the front of her shirt was dirty as she had wiped her hands on it like a toddler would, and her entire left side, her shoulder blades and her bum were covered in mud stains. Weird that she hadn't noticed that or forgot about it.

As she stood there, wiping at the stains with her hands, it didn't seem to get any better.

"I can't get it off," she informed him, then let out a small whine. "I think I'm making it worse."

"Well, that's too bad."

"Hey, this is your fault," she accused and put her hands on her hips, her brows furrowed. "You pushed me."

"If you had better reflexes, you wouldn't look like that now," he pointed out.

"That doesn't change the fact that you pushed me. First you tricked me and then you pushed me to the ground. I could tell Esme, you know."

"You didn't react like you should," Jasper stated matter-of-factly while he walked past her, then continued to make his way through the forest in the direction of home.

Maddie just stood there with her nose wrinkled as she thought of something to say, but eventually just shook her head and ran after him.

Catching up with him, she forcefully bumped her shoulder against his upper arm, making him stumble to the side.

But he easily regained his balance before his head would have knocked a hole into the old tree to his right and glared at her. "Stop that."

"I was just checking," she told him and blinked at him, sounding completely nonchalant.

He couldn't help but look at her like she had lost her mind. "Checking what?"

Kicking a stone away with her right foot, she started to grin and replied, "Your reflexes."

* * *

The soft sounds of footsteps on the porch made Esme shoot up from the couch and turn towards the French windows with wide open eyes and a smile about to break out across her face.

Everything around her was forgotten when the door opened, and she sighed in relief that the waiting and the uncertainty were finally over. Not even Alice had endured her nervousness for too long and under pretence of needing to organise her closet (_"It's an emergency, mom!"_) she had hurried back upstairs and disappeared into her and Jasper's room. Carlisle had quickly changed the channel the moment he heard Alice locking her room door.

Esme had realised that it was because of her, but the slight feeling of guilt over chasing her little Alice away was completely forgotten now.

Her two missing children were back home, and just when they passed through the door, she hurried over to them.

"There you-" she started to say with relief in her voice, when all of a sudden the words caught in her throat. She stopped walking and she stopped talking, instead she just gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"What happened to you? Are you all right? Did you fight?" she asked when the initial shock wore off, the words leaving her lips in a rush before she continued to hurry over to them.

Jasper and Maddie managed to exchange a quick look before Esme smothered both of them in a bone-crushing embrace.

She hugged them so tightly, that neither one of them was able to draw yet another breath.

"Esme, love," Carlisle called over to her while he got up from his armchair and threw his newspaper onto the coffee table. "Let them breathe, please."

The overly emotional woman was reluctant to let them go, seeing as she had been sick with worry while they had been out in the forest, but now she finally had them back and was determined to not let them go anytime soon.

But with their strangled wheezing and Carlisle's soft prodding, she slowly and reluctantly removed her arms from around her children and took a step back to be able to properly look at them once again.

Now that she stood there with these two heavy breathing youngsters standing in front of her, her questions from before came back to her and she realised she still did not know what had taken place in the woods.

Her forehead creased into a frown. "What happened?"

"We talked," Maddie replied casually and shrugged her shoulder, but her answer didn't really satisfy the concerned mother.

"Are you both all right?"

Jasper gave her a nod. "Yes, we are."

"Did you fight?" she asked, her voice quieter now and her eyes quickly narrowing into slits while she eyed them suspiciously.

Now he shook his head. "No, we just talked, Esme, I assure you that that's all we did."

The woman nodded, for the first time feeling like she could truly calm down and be genuinely relieved that all had gone well, just like Carlisle had predicted. He's so very lucky that he was right, because otherwise... no, no need to think about that.

"You're dirty," she suddenly remarked as she looked her girl up and down. She still had no idea why she looked like that, and it had led her to the assumption that the talk had turned violent between the two.

"_You're _dirty," Maddie retorted, making Esme gasp at the sudden insult. She had just stated a fact, the girl was covered in dirt after all, but this was just-

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Carlisle take in a sharp breath and pulling himself up to his full height, straightening his back, like he was just about to say anything, but Maddie was quick enough to pick up on that.

She immediately shook her head and pointed at her mother's sleeves.

Yes, all right, she was dirty too. That's what you get when you hug first and ask questions later.

"Come," she said and motioned with her hand for Maddie to follow her. "I'll draw you a bath."

"No, I don't feel like bathing. I wanna watch a movie." She made to take a step towards the couch, but Esme held up a hand to stop her. Raising her head, Maddie just blinked at her mother.

Esme's face was distorted and she slowly started to move her head from one side to the other. _The couch was made of brown leather, but still..._

"I'm too filthy for the couch, huh?" the girl figured.

Giving her a little, apologetic smile, Esme replied, "You'd feel a lot more comfortable if you-"

"Okay," she sighed and trotted in the direction of the stairs, "I'll go get changed..."

She didn't get very far however, because Esme held her back by her arm.

"Thank you, sweetie. I'll bring the box with our movies up from the basement. I wanted to put them on the shelves before, but it must have slipped my mind. And could you please...?" she trailed off but glanced down at the girl's muddy shoes again and again.

After Maddie had kicked off her shoes, because Esme would flip if she'd have mud trails all throughout the house, she then left the room and headed for her own to put on some clean clothes.

Esme motioned for her son to take off his shoes as well, then put both pairs outside on the porch before she made her way down to the basement.

Now it was only father and son in the living room.

Carlisle stepped up to Jasper with a smile on his face and raised his arm as though he wanted to put it around his son's shoulders in a fatherly manner, but Jasper took a step back and out of his reach.

The boy's jaw clenched for a moment, which made the muscle twitch under his skin, before he briefly cleared his throat.

"Carlisle, I'd like to talk to you," he said, and when the doctor started to nod his head, he glanced at the staircase and added, "In private."

"Sure, son, let's go to my study," Carlisle suggested as he also could hear his wife coming back upstairs from the basement.

While they ascended the stairs on their way to the second floor, Jasper let his father feel his lingering anger that he had been able to soothe for a while, but now allowed it to bloom and rise back to the surface.

The blonde leader shot a sideways glance at his boy when the heavy emotions hit him, but then he directed his gaze back to the stairs and the hallway ahead. He couldn't see why Jasper was suddenly feeling so very furious, but he was sure that he'd find out soon enough.

As they walked on, Jasper remained quiet and Carlisle also didn't speak, knowing it would soon change when they would reach his study down the hall.

The door was ajar, and Carlisle let his son enter first while he motioned with his hand at one of the chairs standing in front of his desk, inviting him to take a seat and make himself comfortable.

But just before Carlisle shut the door to grant both of them the privacy his son had asked for, he noticed that Jasper's eyes were narrowed and had turned pitch black.

* * *

**Aah, sorry bout the wait. I'll soon have more time to write and then the updates won't take that long again... I hope ;)**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing guys and... yup, stay tuned!**


	8. Chapter 8

Maddie jumped over the backrest of the couch and landed on the broad sitting surface with a soft thud. She quickly wiped strands of her hair out of her face and then hugged her knees to her chest in a way of getting comfortable for a nice, relaxing movie that would hopefully help her take her mind off things.

"What are we going to watch?" she queried and looked up at her mother standing by the TV.

Esme eyed her, checking if she had indeed changed into clean clothes like she was supposed to, then turned around and plucked a DVD from the cardboard box she had just brought up from the basement. "This one maybe?" she asked while showing her a movie that looked suspiciously like something a five-year-old would enjoy.

Maddie wasn't five.

Well, she was three actually, but not in the human sense.

"I... I've seen that one already, Mom," she quickly told her and tried to hide that she was shocked beyond belief that they would even have something like that at home. "Do you have something else?"

"How about this one?" the brown-haired woman suggested with a little, hopeful smile and held up something that her daughter might not have watched yet or wouldn't mind watching again.

Maddie agreed. This was the first time that Esme was not acting like she belonged in a mental institution, and it was the first time ever since they moved here that Maddie didn't feel uncomfortable in her presence and wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible. She was still not feeling at home in this place, even though talking to Jasper had helped a little bit, but if everyone would stop acting so weirdly and start being themselves again, she might accept this new house and this new town and try not to look back.

"I'll ask Em and Rose if they wanna join us!" she exclaimed and made to get up, but Esme shaking her head made her freeze and look up at her with a questioning gaze. "Huh?"

"They aren't home, dear."

"What? Why?"

Esme shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I'm sorry, but they have left the house half an hour ago. Emmett said something about his car."

_They left?_ "Oh... okay."

Her reaction seemed to make Esme nervous, and so she just shoved the disc into the DVD player, grabbed the remote and headed for the couch the girl was sitting on.

In order to not waste any time, she seated herself right next to her and immediately switched the TV and the player on, then waited for the menu to appear.

"Mom?"

Esme glanced at her. "Hm?"

"You know," Maddie began and took a deep breath before she continued, "when I was in the forest with Jasper, well, even before we left the house... I was scared."

"He wasn't allowed to discipline you, sweetheart," Esme tried to assure her and patted her knee, then quickly looked elsewhere again.

"I thought he was."

"I know, dear."

Maddie's face scrunched up in incomprehension. "You _knew_? Then why didn't you tell me? That's really mean of you... he was so mad and I thought he was going to hurt me."

Esme swallowed heavily, seemingly uncomfortable with the topic. "Your father thought it's for the best to let Jasper handle this and let him do the explaining. You weren't supposed to know what would happen."

The girl got up from the couch and turned around to face her mother. "That was his idea and you _agreed_? Why? Why would you do that?" she demanded to know, her voice raised.

"I thought that-" "- that he's always right? Well, I think his idea sucked and you're mean for agreeing to that."

"Maddie, you talked it out, didn't you? All went well. But if you and Jasper haven't solved the matter, then you can tell your father and-"

"No... no, I really don't feel like seeing him right now," she stated petulantly, crossed her arms and turned her head, looking away from her mother.

"Made-" "Can we just watch the movie now? I don't wanna talk."

Maddie sat down again and scooted back on the sitting surface, hugging her knees to herself again as she wanted to be comfortable but didn't feel like lying down and resting her head in her mother's lap as she normally would have done. Admittedly, she was disappointed in her mother for sending her off with Jasper when she knew that she'd been scared... and Carlisle's idea of keeping information from her was hurtful. First he had tricked her, and then Jasper had tricked her.

And at the moment it didn't matter to her that the talk had went well, they had still lied to her. All of them.

When the movie started, Esme leaned back and put an arm around her daughter's shoulders, driving her hand up and down her upper arm.

Despite her anger and disappointment over the fact that they hadn't told her a thing, Maddie didn't think she should let her see how much it bothered her. The woman had been acting so weird ever since Edward had left, and she didn't want to make it worse by scooting away from her now.

And so she willed herself to forget about it now and just tried to enjoy the movie.

Esme seemed to relax when she noticed that she didn't shake her arm off or move away from her, and then she hesitantly pulled her closer to herself.

It was obvious that Esme needed her forgiveness.

But when Maddie put her head on her mother's shoulder, Esme tensed and then sniffed the air.

_Oh, come on..._

Esme pulled away, then looked her up and down before she moved her hair away from her shoulder, revealing her neck.

"What...," she mumbled, squinted her eyes and scratched her nail over a crusted spot on the girl's neck. "You have mud on your neck... and it's in your hair too! Oh, Maddie no!"

"... so?" The girl felt tired after all that had happened on this day, and she really didn't care about a few mud stains on her skin... They drained forest animals on a regular basis. These things were dirty, had parasites, poop around their buttholes and didn't always smell awfully mouth-watering... and if you caught them and didn't kill them immediately, they struggled against you and some even peed themselves out of fear. So why the heck was a little mud a problem for this woman now?

"You cannot possibly tell me that you are feeling comfortable that way!"

Wow, Esme had forgotten fairly quickly that Maddie was actually a little mad at her and that she was supposed to have a guilty conscience. But yes, let's talk about mud.

"I didn't even know it was there... Mom, please. It's nothing, who cares?"

She held her hands up in a placating manner. "All right, if you don't mind..."

"No, I don't mind. Can we watch the movie now?"

Esme sighed, but nodded. "Sure."

However, they didn't.

Well, Maddie tried to concentrate on the TV screen, but her mother seemed uncomfortable with having mud in her house and glanced at her again and again, until the dark-haired girl couldn't take it anymore.

"Fine," she groaned and jumped up from the couch. "I'll take a shower."

"Oh!" Esme breathed as though she was taken by surprise by her daughter's brilliant idea. "You don't have to, love. But if it makes you feel better, I'll stop the movie until you're done."

"Thanks, Mom..."

The girl sped upstairs, taking two steps at a time, and disappeared into the bathroom down the hall.

She was tempted to take a bath now, as it would grant her more time to herself and get rid of the annoyance she was currently feeling, but then she decided against it.

Esme was still shaken over Edward's sudden departure and she was dealing with this by going into her extreme cleaning bug mode, and it wouldn't make any sense to 'provoke' her now or start an argument. It wouldn't help to dwell on the fact that they had sent her to go with Jasper without telling her what was going to happen, even though they knew she was a little afraid of him when he was angry.

She was angry and felt cheated, but it wouldn't make her feel better if she'd yell at Esme now and make her feel bad – she just wanted everything go back to normal, everything to get better again.

And if her siblings were right, it would get better.

* * *

Carlisle pushed his hand against the door to close it, then stepped over to his desk, again motioning for his son to take a seat. His face was distorted with confusion about his son's obvious rage and he asked, "Jasper, son, what is-"

"I cannot believe you would take risks like that," the soldier hissed sharply at his father.

He blinked at him. "Risks?"

"She poses a danger to the coven and to herself!" he clarified, his eyes darkening further - if that was even possible. He looked like an enraged newborn, ready to attack.

"Son," Carlisle said and sat down in his desk chair with the intention of getting his son to take a seat as well so they would be able to have a proper conversation, "she made a mistake and I assumed you'd talked to her about the risk her behaviour had brought. Is she still determined to do it again?"

Jasper looked at him like he was crazy. "Carlisle, this is not about her manipulating me! This is about her _not_ manipulating me!"

It probably wasn't too hard to understand that Carlisle was utterly confused now. What his son just said made absolutely no sense to him.

Maddie had admitted that she had used her ability on him – her intention had been to help him and the rest of the family, even though it had become dangerous the moment her influence had worn off completely while Jasper was out hunting.

Oh... maybe he had thought about it and decided that it had been a good idea, and now he was furious that she had refused to do it again? Poor boy, and now he wanted him to convince her to continue to block her brother's bloodlust. If she would refuse, he was supposed to command her to do it.

"Did she give you a reason why she refuses to do it again?"

"What?!" Jasper's face scrunched up in bewilderment, but his chest was still heaving from angry breaths.

Clearing his throat and leaning back in his chair, Carlisle again motioned at the wooden chair on the other side of the desk before he clasped his hands together. "I think you need to explain a little bit further," he calmly replied.

Jasper still didn't move from his spot and remained standing. "She is absolutely clueless and useless!" he raged. "An embarrassment to our world!"

Carlisle's face hardened at hearing his son's choice of words. Insulting the girl, his own sister, like that was beyond unacceptable.

With one hand raised, he called, "Enough! What has gotten into you, boy?"

"I am ashamed that we are members of the same coven, Carlisle."

"Jasper!" Carlisle shot up from his chair and fixed his son with a stern gaze. The boy, however, was not fazed it seemed as he just continued with his rant.

"Don't you realise the danger you have put us all in? You are hazarding everyone's lives, and you don't even feel a hint of guilt or remorse."

Oh, so this was more about him as their leader than about the girl.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Carlisle let out a sigh. "What would I feel guilty for?"

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. What is she? What is she _supposed_ to be, huh? She's clearly not one of us, because her reactions, her senses and her priorities are not the ones a vampire would have."

Carlisle's eyes narrowed and he put his hands on his hips. "Jasper, what are you hinting at?"

"She wouldn't survive a week on her own out there," he almost growled and pointed at the window. "She cannot fight, not even her reflexes or her instincts are the way they should be... she's useless! And all because of you."

Shaking his head, the coven leader crossed his arms over his chest now. "She doesn't need to be able to fight as we are making sure she'd never find herself in a situation where she-"

"It's _dangerous_, Carlisle, a hazard! She cannot even protect herself from harm, and she sure as hell would never be able to protect one of us. You are endangering her and the rest of us by not preparing her or letting us teach her how to fight!"

"Jasper, you are clearly overreacting," the older man reproved.

"Overreacting?! What the fuck have you turned her into, Carlisle? She's not human anymore, but she's also not one of us. She's nothing, a pathetic excuse for a vampire. How could you do this?"

"Jasper, no more," the doctor instructed as calmly as ever, even though his voice had a strict undertone to it.

But maybe that calmness was what brought Jasper's temper spiralling out of control, because he suddenly reached out, grabbed a book from the desk and threw it forcefully against the wall, just a foot from Carlisle's head. "Take responsibility for what you've done, God dammit!"

And all of a sudden it was quiet in the room – neither one of them moved or even drew a breath.

The loud bang had probably been heard throughout the house, but at that moment Carlisle hoped that the girls would wisely stay out of it and let him handle the situation. He didn't want them involved in this.

Carlisle looked at the wall, then at his thick medical book lying on the floor. With one eyebrow raised, he slowly turned his head back around and locked eyes with his son.

"Pick that up _right now_, or bend over the desk."

His kneejerk reaction had shocked Jasper as well, and it looked like he was surprised that his father wasn't already whipping him after that little stunt.

He ground his teeth together, but then walked past the mahogany desk and his father who was eyeing him like a hawk, and picked up the book to place it back on the desk top.

Then he resumed his position by the visitor chair and lowered his head.

"She is perfectly adjusted," Carlisle let him know when he was sure that his son was more or less calm now and prepared to listen. "By making sure she keeps her human habits and interests, she fits right in with the humans surrounding us. She's doing a marvellous job."

Lifting his head to look at his father, Jasper said, "We are not human, Carlisle, and we will never be. No matter how hard you try, we will never be like them again."

"I know, son, but this is safe. She has her bloodlust under control, she doesn't raise suspicion – the way she keeps up the cover, she is as safe as she can be with us and doesn't feel uncomfortable playing her role. Our cover is what has kept us alive and well for almost a century and she is contributing just like everyone else is."

"When we're among humans maybe, but what about our kind?" he queried, his voice rising in anger again.

"Control yourself, Jasper, and lower your voice," Carlisle warned him. "There has only been one chance encounter with nomads or the like before."

"Yes, and she thought they were newborns!" he shouted, his father's warning and his attempt at being calm completely forgotten again. "You cannot possibly tell me that that is totally fine with you! She doesn't know anything and isn't prepared for the world out there!"

Carlisle took a calming breath to make sure he wouldn't let his own anger take over and fuel his son's rage even more. "Alice keeps her eyes open, so to speak. It won't happen again. And it was 'only' Bella who was in danger, no one else."

"No one's gift is infallible, you know that! The little Maddie knows about vampires, they'd torture her to death just for the hell of it. There is no puppy license in our world, she is fair game. For fuck's sake, Carlisle, open your eyes! Even a two day old newborn knows more about us than she does. And of course it will happen again, but next time it's her life that's going to be at stake!"

"Son, you are overreacting. Take a deep breath and watch your mouth when you are speaking to me. I've tolerated it long enough, but this will stop now."

It didn't stop, and Jasper wasn't even listening to a word he said.

"Stop experimenting on her! Is that what you want? See how much you can curb her vampire nature by keeping and treating her like a human?"

"Jasper-"

"Oh no, I get it. You are using her to make yourself seem more human. Someone who looks and acts like a child is a better cover than a bunch of disturbed, adopted adolescents, huh?"

"Boy, watch it. And take a seat, _now_."

There was a fair amount of defiance in the soldier's eyes, but to his father's surprise he finally pulled a chair out and flung himself into it.

Carlisle waited another moment to check if he was ready to listen to him now, then gave a nod and sat down behind his desk. "That is not what it's about, Jasper. It is better for her that we encourage her human behaviours rather than teach her to act out on her vampire nature," he explained and folded his hands together on the table. "It's easier for her to slowly learn more about our world, because right now, we are living amongst humans. Our cover is our top priority, it's what keeps us safe and lets us stay in one place for longer than just a few days or weeks. The animal diet is something we all try to follow, and that's why we have never brought her a human to feed on. She won't miss what she doesn't know."

"I'm not saying that she should feast on humans now, I just think that she doesn't belong anywhere because she has no clue who or what she is. She doesn't know anything and she'll never be able to live on her own like the rest of us. You'd sent her to her own death if you'd allow her leave like that," he accused in a low but furious voice and narrowed his eyes.

Giving him a warning look, Carlisle said, "Nobody is going to be sent from this coven. I appreciate your concerns for your sister, but you can rest assured that-"

"- that she will never be able to do anything else but play a pubescent student. Play a human girl. You cannot be serious, Carlisle." He laughed without humour and leaned back in his seat, rubbing his hands over his face as though he was frustrated with his father's ignorance.

"Look at me, Jasper," Carlisle ordered.

When their eyes met, he went on. "There is plenty of time to teach her about our kind, but for now we won't change anything. Besides, you know that she wants to be among humans."

"No," he disagreed and leaned forward in his seat. "She just doesn't know anything else."

Now even Carlisle felt like laughing, but managed to keep himself from doing so. "Do you want her to live a life in a coven like the one you trained and led to war?"

Jasper released a breath. "No."

"And that's why she doesn't need to know about wars, about deaths, torture and mind games. About disposing of life like it is worth nothing. I have been around for a lot longer than you, boy, and I am perfectly aware of how most of us are leading their lives and how quickly it is taken from them. That is not what she would want, and we are keeping this from her for her own good."

"The knowledge won't turn her into a ferocious beast, Carlisle."

"But it won't help her either," he retorted and shook his head. He was glad that they were finally having an actual conversation, but Jasper did not share his point of view or even try to understand where he was coming from.

He snorted. "You keep telling yourself that you are doing the right thing, that you are keeping her and us safe when all you do is lying to her and dooming her. The moment she decides to spend time on her own away from the coven, just like Edward is doing right now, she's dead and you know it."

"She's gifted, Jasper. Why do you think she has that talent and not a different one? Have you never asked yourself why she developed this specific ability?"

"She doesn't know when and how to use it! That ability is completely wasted on her!" he yelled, then jumped up from the chair and headed for the door. "If you won't do anything about it," he told him in a low, dark voice, "I will."

Now Carlisle also got up and with his hands on his desk, he glared at his son through darkened eyes. "You will do no such thing, and Sit. Back. Down."

"No, you are putting all our lives at risk and weaken the coven, but that will stop now," he growled and grabbed the door handle, before he wrenched the door open, almost breaking it out of its hinges.

"Jasper, enough! She's-"

The empath snapped his head around and angrily bared his teeth at his coven leader. "She's what?! A goddamn cripple is what she is, and you know it! A disgrace to our kind! Just teach her or kill her already, you fucking coward! What are you waiting for, huh?" he shouted, then forcefully pulled the door open further to finally get out of Carlisle's study and away from him. He was too angry at the moment, and the way he was feeling he wasn't sure if he could really manage to control himself any longer or just lose it and destroy half the room... or attack Carlisle.

He needed to cool off immediately, and so he sped out into the hallway on his way to his and Alice's room.

"_Boy, you come back here this instant!_"

He barely heard his father's order or his footsteps as he sensed movement to his left at the same time as a smell tingled his nose. It was the artificial scent of body wash and shampoo, and as he whipped his head to the side, he saw a discarded towel lying on the floor and caught a whiff of his sister's scent.

* * *

**Here we go, chapter 8 :) Yep, Jasper is really ticked off with our dear coven leader... and now Carlisle is angry too, hehe... vamps are hard to control.**

**To the guest reviewer: Nap wasn't long enough, my friend. Try again!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing guys! Hope you have/ had a great day!**


	9. Chapter 9

Jasper just stared at the discarded towel lying on the floor, his mouth hanging slightly open in shock and his eyes unblinking.

Did she just _hear_ what he had said? _All of it?_

He needed a moment to overcome the initial shock and decide on what to do now, when suddenly a strong hand grabbed him by the neck and smashed him hard against the wall, making it crack.

The air was knocked from his lungs and all he could feel was the fury radiating off of his coven leader. He was mad, and Jasper perceived the deep growl that rumbled in the man's throat.

Carlisle held him so tight that his neck would have snapped by now if he were still human. Jasper didn't dare move.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see him draw closer until his lips were only inches from his ear.

The man's growling was louder now, his breath making the hair on Jasper's neck stand up and prickle his skin, his hand trembling from the heavy vibration of the growl within his throat.

Despite the decades spent as a soldier, surviving and killing numerous of their kind, Jasper now had to battle his instinct of throwing him off and giving him a growl of his own. Even in this position it would be easy for him to ram his elbow into his stomach, or kick back hard enough to break his knee caps, then throw him to the ground, detach both or at least one of his arms, before he'd eventually rip his head off.

The sounds of bones breaking and skin tearing had accompanied him for so long that it wouldn't even bother him to hear it again. He wouldn't even flinch.

Like Carlisle was knowing what he was thinking at the moment, he slammed Jasper's head into the wall again and the boy breathed in plaster dust that made him cough.

"Have you lost your mind, Jasper? What has gotten into you?!" Carlisle demanded to know, his voice still sounding like one deep, long growl, making it hard to make out the words.

The coven leader was unsurprisingly in full coven leader mode, and now he was determined to show Jasper what he thought of his blatant disrespect and the provocation. He didn't let anyone tell him how to lead his coven, and he sure as hell wouldn't let anyone tell him to end the life of one of his coven members, especially when that member was still so very much in need of protection.

Jasper knew that he was in no position to tell Carlisle what to do, but he still had been the one who had steered the conversation into this very unpleasant direction. Just talking about his worries and doubts would have worked and Carlisle would definitely have listened, but he had chosen to let his anger get the best of him and yell and demand from him to do what _he_ deemed to be the right thing.

And now Carlisle would show him what that misconduct would get him to make it abundantly clear who was the head of this coven.

"Answer me!"

Jasper blew out some air through his nose, feeling his father's painful grip on his neck and the cold, rough wall press firmly against the side of his face.

He remained silent as there would be nothing that could justify him going off at him like that and doubt his position as his leader, but the tactic of not answering his question turned out to be not the wisest one.

The coven leader pulled him away from the wall, then marched him back into the study and practically threw him over the broad desk, then seized his wrists in his left hand and pinned them to the small of his back.

Jasper could still fend him off, he could fight him and he had very good chances of winning, but it hadn't been his goal to challenge Carlisle or take his position. He was not interested in taking over this coven.

"You do not demand, and you do not tell me how to lead this coven. It's my decision how to raise my offspring and you better accept it or hold your tongue. _My_ coven, _my_ rules," the enraged doctor clarified for his wayward son.

While Jasper fully understood that Carlisle had to react to that challenge and needed to put him in his place, Jasper admittedly didn't have time for it now.

Maddie had heard, he was convinced that she had, and now he needed to check on her and make sure that she understood why he said it. His intention wasn't to make her feel worthless, he just needed Carlisle to see what he was doing to her by not even briefing her about the basic nature of vampires and keeping the knowledge she needed to survive on her own from her. She was maybe safe from being detected by humans, but she was not safe from their wicked, bloody-minded kind.

"Carlisle, let me go!" he ground out, the impatience he was feeling getting worse with every passing second.

_Where the fuck was the girl? Had she run?_ If so, he needed to find her. He had just made everything worse and needed to be able to think of what to do, but receiving coven discipline over a valuable complaint successfully kept him from doing just that.

The hand around his wrists tightened, and a growl rumbled in his coven leader's throat. "What was that?" he asked in a dangerously low voice that would have made any other vampire beg for mercy in order to not infuriate him any further.

"I demand that you let me go before I hurt you and I really don't want to do that," Jasper hissed into the table top while trying to twist his neck to make eye contact with his father, but he could barely move.

Carlisle's other hand was like spiked iron shackles around his wrists and he pushed them higher onto his back until his arms hurt. "I've had enough of your disrespect."

Suddenly Jasper felt himself being pressed harder onto the desk - if that was even possible - and then got his legs roughly kicked further apart.

"Carlisle, let me go!" he yelled out as he was starting to feel panic build up inside of him. He couldn't waste any time, and Carlisle wanted to whip him now?!

"You better learn to hold your tongue, Jasper."

"Let. Me. Go!"

His upper body was secured across the table by the hand around his wrists and Carlisle's forearm pressing down on his back, and he could suddenly feel and hear how Carlisle lifted his right hand in the air, ready to strike him.

Jasper bit down on his lips. It took everything he had in him to not hurt Carlisle now. He really didn't want to lose control over his instincts and turn into the murderous soldier on the battlefield that he had been so many years ago. This matter was not important, Carlisle and his hierarchy could wait, but why couldn't the man see it?

He lifted his hand higher and Jasper squinted his eyes shut as he was still battling his instincts, when suddenly-

"_Carlisle, stop!_"

Esme had appeared in the doorway, a look of utter shock on her pale face. She stared at them through a curtain of brown curls that had fallen into her face, breathing heavily and holding the towel tightly between her hands.

Both men looked at her, but Carlisle quickly turned his back on his wife again.

"Leave, Esme," was all he said as he lifted his hand again.

She dropped the towel to the floor. "Enough, stop it!" she shouted now and ran over to them. With both hands she grabbed his raised one, pulling at it to keep him from hitting her son.

Her maternal instincts were pushing through full force, and Jasper gasped at the intensity of her emotions as they were relentlessly washing over him and made him almost choke as his throat painfully constricted.

"You will let him go this instant, Carlisle," the petite woman ordered. "Stop it!"

Carlisle huffed, but eventually gave in and pushed away from his son. Jasper took a deep breath when he was finally being released from the tight grip, then wiped his hair out of his face before he straightened up and spun around.

That had been close... but the drama wasn't over yet.

Carlisle took a few long strides towards the window, then turned around again, glaring at his son with pitch black eyes.

The agitated coven leader was starting to pace now as it would calm him and he needed to sort his thoughts after what he had been about to do just a few seconds ago. Suddenly his head snapped up and he focussed on his wife.

"Esme, what is-" "Maddie is gone," she interrupted him and swallowed heavily when he didn't immediately react to the information. Maybe he just didn't see why the girl's sudden absence was so alarming.

Her mate raked a hand through his tussled hair, blinking at her like he had trouble understanding what she had just said. "Wh-"

"She took a shower but didn't come back downstairs," Esme told him. "She's not in her room, she left."

"Why would she leave without telling you? Is she thirsty?"

Shaking her head, Esme replied, "No, she was fine, I'm-"

"She heard," Jasper threw in, looking in between his parents.

Esme's eyes widened while Carlisle's seemed to narrow.

"What are you talking about, son?" he demanded to know. His eyes were boring into Jasper's, and the younger man quickly dropped his gaze and focussed on the carpet underneath his feet.

"She must have heard what I said... Sir," he let him know, then slowly lifted his head and gulped when his eyes met his father's once again.

"Are you sure?"

He gave a nod. "I believe so... I don't know how much she heard, but I picked up her scent when I left the study and," he said, then he pointed at the white bundle lying on the floor, "her towel."

He didn't know if Carlisle noticed it himself, but the coven leader's eyes instantly darkened until they were jet-black again. "She _heard_?!"

Jasper took a step back and bowed his head again. Carlisle was mad and judging by his tone of voice, he would be for a little while longer.

"I'll go get her," he half offered and half stated after a moment, but when he looked back up into his father's face he realised that Carlisle wouldn't have any of that.

"You've done enough already, you're not going anywhere," he growled, his eyes boring into Jasper's.

Esme reached for her mate's arm. "But Carlisle-"

Jasper shook his head in confusion, and he frowned at his father while pointing out of the window. "I need to explain to her that-"

"I said No!" the coven leader's booming voice resounded throughout the room, instantly making everyone fall silent.

"Carlisle," Esme pleaded quietly when the shock subsided and pulled at his arm, "please let him take care of this."

"That is not up for discussion. I will go get her," he told his wife, then turned to address his son in a lower voice. "And you better hope that she hasn't heard anything."

He was just about to storm out of the room when his son's voice stopped him and made him glance back at him over his shoulder.

"But she has," Jasper shot back. "And I am the only one who can explain to her why I said it! She wouldn't believe you, Carlisle!"

The coven leader fully turned around, and Esme stepped up to him to grab his hands and squeeze them slightly. "I trusted you when you said they need to solve their problem without us, now you need to trust me. Let him go, Carlisle. You are too worked up right now, I want Jasper to go get her."

"No."

Her face scrunched up as though his unwillingness was physically hurting her. "I don't know what has happened up here, all I know that you were yelling at each other and that Maddie's gone. I'd go get her, but I won't be able to explain anything to her."

"Esme," Carlisle groaned and shut his eyes for a brief moment, "I can handle this."

"But I don't want you to."

He looked back at her, his jaw set, but eventually he let out a sigh and nodded his head. Despite his position as the leader of this coven, he couldn't and wouldn't ignore his wife's opinion and her intuition.

"Fine. Jasper, go find your sister and bring her home. I will handle the rest, and don't you even think about laying a finger on her."

Esme frowned at her mate, but he just ignored it.

"In the meantime I'll try to call her," he said and grabbed the phone lying on his desk, then turned around again and held up a warning finger as he whispered, "Jasper, don't you dare do anything you don't have permission for."

* * *

Jasper quickly picked up Maddie's scent and he followed the invisible trail that led him into the forest.

She hadn't taken the same path the had previously walked, but instead she had headed north. Judging by the concentration of the scent particles in the air, she had run as though she had been longing to get away from the house and from them. Admittedly, Jasper was feeling a little nervous as he didn't know what he'd find once he would reach her.

There were all kinds of possibilities of how she'd react to his presence, but none of them seemed exceptionally pleasant.

This really shouldn't have happened... his words had only been meant for Carlisle's ears and no one else's. No wonder she had run, he had insulted her like she had probably never been insulted before.

He was getting closer, and he noticed that she hadn't even tried to mask her scent or change directions, switch from the ground to the trees or just take high jumps. She hadn't evaded the ferns and low branches, hadn't tried to leave no traces behind.

Nothing.

She was either completely useless when it came to running and hiding, or it hadn't crossed her mind that one of them would come find her because all she had been thinking about was getting away from him or them as quickly as possible.

He ran quicker now when he realised just how fresh her scent was in the air. She hadn't gotten very far.

Time to prepare himself...

It only took him a few minutes until he reached a clearing and that's when he saw her.

The closer he got to her, the more he had wondered if he was just imagining it or if he was indeed smelling blood, and now he knew why. Maddie was kneeling on the ground, sucking on the gaping wound on the neck of a cougar she had just caught.

Blood helped when you were feeling off. Just like running.

Jasper watched the young girl while he tried to decipher how she was doing at the moment. However, she was only focussing on feeding and even though his ability reached out to her and tried to pick up what she was feeling, there was nothing.

He frowned, especially when he noticed something else.

Usually she played a little with her prey first, but now he could only detect one injury and it was the one she was drawing blood from. The cougar's tongue was hanging out and the sleeve of her sweatshirt was ripped and showed dirt marks of the animal's claws, but apart from that there wasn't much evidence of a fight because there probably hadn't been one.

"You are not supposed to hunt on your own," he remarked when she pushed the dead animal off her lap and wiped her mouth on her shoulder.

She shot him a death glare that was so cold and hateful, that he had almost stumbled back in surprise.

And then he felt it.

_Anger... and hurt. Betrayal._

Her emotions hit him so suddenly, it felt like a punch to the stomach.

He caught himself in time before he would have shown any signs of shock and briefly cleared his throat.

"Carlisle's rule, not mine."

She just snorted, then shook her head as she pushed herself up from the ground and wiped her hands on the legs of her sweatpants. Her hair was still wet, hanging in tangled strands around her young face.

She'd have to shower again once she'd come home because he saw that she had tiny twigs and drool in her hair, and the left side of her mouth and cheek was smeared with the blood of the animal she had just drained.

"You're not talking to me anymore?"

When she just bared her teeth at him for a second and then turned around to walk away, he took that as a No.

"Very mature."

She walked further away from him, not even stopping to snap at him for his stupid comment - she _really_ wasn't talking to him anymore.

What was he supposed to do now? He could feel her anger, which most likely was rooted in her disappointment and feeling of betrayal and hurt. A sense of fear was also somewhere in the mix, just like a little bit of shock that was slowly decreasing in intensity. Feeding must have helped her overcome the initial shock - so she really heard what he had said in the study.

Well, it would have been hard to overhear, judging by how loud he'd been...

That she was ignoring him now was less than ideal, but he needed to show understanding. It wasn't her fault that she had heard.

"Maddie," he called and jogged after her. She picked up her pace when he was getting close, and he internally groaned that she would give him the cold shoulder now in such an annoyingly childish manner.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," he said, hoping that if he cut right to the chase, she'd understand why he was here and would give him the chance to explain himself.

She didn't stop.

"I didn't mean it the way you think I did. You misunderstood."

Now she only got quicker, her head demonstratively turned the other way.

"Stop that, please. I wasn't-"

She wasn't interested in hearing him out it seemed.

Groaning, he told her, "I want to talk to you, so please stop and look at me."

Nope, that also didn't work.

"Stop it!" he demanded and grabbed her by the wrist to yank her back and force her to look at him. Her eyes were hard and coal black when she faced him, and just like his touch was burning her, she wrenched her arm free from his grasp, looked him up and down, then turned around again.

He looked after her as she was heading deeper into the forest.

"For how long do you want to keep that up, huh?" He caught up with her again and tried to walk right next to her, but she started to change directions, picked up her pace and turned her head away from him so she wouldn't have to see his face.

Jasper really didn't have any patience for that and his plan to be sympathetic and understanding with her was quickly fading. But he also didn't want to change her emotions at the moment as there was still hope that he could manage to make her listen to him without manipulating her.

"God dammit, girl, grow up!"

He grabbed her shoulder and yanked her back, and Jasper felt it even before he saw it.

Her sharp teeth had penetrated the skin on his hand, they had dug right into the fleshy part between wrist and little finger, and he hissed in pain.

When she let go, the pain intensified for a moment and all of a sudden he felt blind rage overcome him due to this vicious attack.

A growl emitted his throat and on impulse his abused hand shot up into the air to backhand her.

* * *

**And they are back in the forest! Let's see if we can manage some bonding that'll last, hm... :-/**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing guys!**


	10. Chapter 10

The still agitated coven leader was pacing the length of the living room, constantly glancing through the large windows into the forest and raking his right hand through his blonde hair that now looked more like a windblown bird's nest than like the usual neatly combed mane.

"Carlisle," Esme sighed and leaned back on the couch, "please, calm down."

"I'll calm down later, love," he replied without even looking at her. Instead, he opened his fist and glanced down at the phone that was visibly suffering due to his agitation. The device that he held in his hand was showing thin cracks on the sides that were proof of his internal turmoil and the stress he was under. "She's purposely not answering my calls."

Esme shook her head. "Don't be like that. I'm sure she muted it after she left and doesn't notice you calling her now, or Jasper found her and they are talking."

"Two very unfavourable scenarios," he growled quietly... but not quietly enough.

His wife snapped her head around and sat up straighter again. "What has gotten into you?" she queried. "It's not Maddie's absence that got you so riled up, so what is it?"

He turned his head and looked at her questioningly.

She groaned as her dear husband pretended not to know what she was talking about, and so she decided to clarify for him. "What happened between you and Jasper? Why were you about to discipline my son?"

"That is none of your concern," he replied while shaking his head. "He was out of line and I needed to rein him in, that's all."

The loving mother was not impressed with that statement and gave him a funny look like she couldn't believe that was his explanation for what happened up there. Plus, it had led to their youngest fleeing from the house.

"But not like that, all of this growling and yelling – you know I don't approve of that. And it doesn't surprise me that Maddie ran when she heard that, you scared her."

"Wh-?" he gasped. "_I_ scared her?"

"The ruckus upstairs sounded frightening, and as you know she went upstairs... Jasper said she heard, so I believe that's what happened."

"Hearing Jasper and me argue is not the reason, Esme. And next time I don't want anyone to come upstairs when I am having a private conversation in my study," Carlisle said, but was actually glad that Esme had apparently forgotten whose words had made the girl run away.

Her face scrunched up in confusion about her mate's behaviour. "None of us knew what it was about, so how can you expect us to stay away? Maddie just walked down the hall!"

"I...," he started to say, then closed his eyes for a moment and groaned before he tried to remedy his statement. "No, I'm sorry, it's not her fault, dear. I don't know what I'm saying. It's just that... I don't want to be disrupted when I am having a conversation in my office."

Her eyebrows shot up when she realised what he was getting at and she blinked at him in disbelief. "Do you really expect me to just stand by when you are about to beat my child in anger?"

The doctor crossed his arms over his chest and looked out of the window again, turning his back on his wife. "This wasn't about some mischief or him not doing his chores. I had my reasons for wanting to take immediate action and while I do understand why you interrupted us and I am thankful for that because of Maddie, I will finish the discussion with Jasper in my office later today. I wish not to be interrupted again."

She gasped. "You cannot be serious. What has he done that he'd deserve punishment in your eyes?"

"It's a private matter, love, please accept that as an answer and don't ask," he told her while glancing at her over his shoulder.

"No, I won't accept that," she argued, looking absolutely appalled that he would tell her something like that and expect her to just drop the matter. "I am his mother and I won't allow it."

He turned around at her words and raised an eyebrow.

"Esme," he said, "this is not up for discussion. I am sorry that you are upset, but my decision is final."

The brunette vampire shot up from the couch and stalked towards him.

"They are just as much my children as they are yours and whatever happens with any of them is _my_ concern as well! Why were you so furious with him?"

The tall coven leader averted his eyes, the furious glare his wife was giving him was too difficult to hold. He fully understood her objections and her anger, he'd act the same, but it all came down to one very important fact that couldn't be ignored: He was the leader of this coven. His word was law and while he usually took everyone's opinion into consideration and his wife was just as much an authority figure in this house as he was, he made the final decision. And now he had made the decision to protect his wife from further worries.

"I won't tell you," he stated.

"Oh, but you will," she quietly growled, her quickly darkening eyes flashing from her maternal instincts that were pushing through and making her fight for her cub.

But Carlisle couldn't tell her about the threats Jasper uttered, the thoughts he voiced or what had made him so mad that it got him riled up as well. She shouldn't see Jasper any differently or fear for their youngest when he was nearby.

And she shouldn't doubt the decisions they had made years ago.

"Esme, this is beyond a family matter. Jasper challenged me, he doubted my position and I had to react accordingly."

Her jaw dropped.

"He _what_?"

"I need to make it abundantly clear who is head of this coven and he knows that, Esme. He expects it even. Please don't get involved, I don't want see you worried."

She didn't reply immediately, but looked thoughtful as she seemed to try to digest the news. "I do understand that you cannot let that slide, Carlisle...," she said slowly, but then hesitated for a moment before she added, "I just don't understand why he would do that. What exactly happened?"

Carlisle closed the distance between himself and his wife and placed a hand on her arm, driving it up and down in a comforting manner as she looked positively shocked and he wanted to assure her that everything would be well in the end.

"The details are not important. Jasper's behaviour was uncalled for and it won't happen again, because I will make sure that it won't."

"But are you sure this wasn't just some kind of misunderstanding?" she asked, looking up at him with worry in her eyes. "Maybe he didn't do it on purpose."

_Yes, maybe he didn't throw a book at me on purpose... or call me a liar and a coward. Maybe he didn't mean it when he yelled at me and challenged me..._

_Oh, Esme._

"Love, he knew exactly what he was doing, and I know exactly how I am going to deal with that."

* * *

Jasper's hand twitched. He was just about to strike her when his eyes suddenly widened as he realised what he was about to do, and he barely managed to stop himself in time before he would have acted out on his instincts.

His hand was pulsating angrily, the traces of her venom in the crescent shaped wound sending shocking flashes of pain up his arm. He could feel his venom oozing from the torn skin, trying to wash hers out so his body would finally be able to start the healing process.

But his anger left him and he forgot about the pain for a moment when his eyes locked on hers.

Peculiar.

Even though he had been about to hurt her, she hadn't moved back, hissed or flinched. She didn't squint her eyes in fear of getting hit and she also didn't call for help.

No, the look in her eyes was daring and told him that she was waiting for him to slap her like she wanted to prove to him that he had indeed meant every word he had said and actually despised her.

What could he do now?

He really hadn't meant them the way she had perceived them and he hadn't meant to strike her now. Still, the movement had been enough to give the girl the impression that he didn't respect her at all.

And then he realised something else at that moment - something that confused him even more.

She'd let him slap her and take the pain just to _prove_ something to him? _Why?_

He actually expected her to try to run or at least flinch in a situation like this.

With a raised eyebrow she just looked at him, waiting if he would change his mind and still attempt to hit her for biting him.

So anger made her daring. The anger that had built up inside of her ever since she had heard what he said about her was so strong now, that she didn't fear him - she didn't fear him at all. She _wanted_ him to slap her, to fuel her rage even more and make her attack him. If he hit her first, she wouldn't have to fear any consequences... or maybe she didn't care about that and just wanted to hurt him if he dared to make the mistake of laying a finger on her.

It was interesting to see how controlled her anger was and how much she calculated the situation to manipulate it to her favour.

Of course she would want to test him now, to see if he was full of shit or at least a little trustworthy. And no matter the outcome, she was prepared.

Jasper lowered his hand.

Seeing him change his mind and letting his hand drop back to his side was not what she had expected to happen, and her jaw clenched for a moment while she was thinking of a different way to get what she thought she wanted.

Suddenly it felt more like a battle of wills than locking horns with each other - not that he wanted to fight her, but she had obviously been counting on it.

He frowned, waiting to see what she'd do now. He didn't need to wait long.

Her eyes were still black and fixed on his, her emotions suddenly changing from pure controlled anger with a hint of confusion to pure controlled anger with a hint of smugness.

The girl suddenly spit a glob of pink venom, _his_ venom tainted by the cougar's blood she had just consumed, right at his feet, then turned around and walked away.

Provocation.

That little brat decided to provoke him and then had the nerve to turn her back on him.

Infuriated but slightly taken aback by her actions, Jasper remained where he was and just stared after her.

While he was in pain and feeling furious with her for even daring to think about biting him, he also felt oddly... proud? She must have learned something from their little conversation in the forest and had reacted like she should in a situation like this. He was bothering her, invading her personal space by touching her and forcing her to face him, and she had just shown him that she was fed up with this crap.

For a second, he had thought that there was still hope for her and she might learn how to fight and protect herself after all.

But what she had done just now ruined all of that again and he internally groaned. Provoking a possible deadly outcome was definitely not her smartest move and she'd need to learn to use her anger in a smarter way than challenging someone and then turning her back on that person. He could kill her in the blink of an eye - she wouldn't even feel it and with her back turned, she would never see it coming.

_What a stupid, little-_

_No, enough with the musings._

He needed her to stop this bullshit right now and just listen to him, preferably without having her teeth chewing on his extremities.

"What makes you think that you can bite me and then just walk off like nothing had happened?" he called after her. "I could have seriously hurt you for that."

"Right," she scoffed like the little annoying child that she could be.

His jaw clenched, but he took a calming breath in order to not yell at her.

_Okay... time to try a different approach. Let's just forget about the painful, torturous bite for a moment..._

Jogging after her, he reached her quickly and cleared his throat.

She stopped.

"And don't you _ever_ challenge anyone like that and then turn around. You can get yourself killed that way," he admonished sharply.

The answer was eye-rolling and an annoyed sigh.

_You little-_

Then, like she knew how much that would anger him, she walked away from him again.

_God dammit._

Despite the circumstances, he tried to remain calm. "I want to talk to you... Maddie, come on."

She spun around at his plea, but unfortunately didn't look willing to listen to him. "Are you dumb?" she hissed, "I'm not interested."

"Just-" "No!" she yelled in his face now, her chest heaving up and down from her angry breaths. "Leave me alone!"

"You were never supposed to hear that, " he tried to explain to her in a calm voice. "Now just-"

"Just what?" she interrupted him and threw her hands in the air. "Stop and wait for Carlisle so he can either beat me or kill me? Fuck off, Jasper."

When she turned her back on him and made to put some more distance between them again, he cleared his throat and asked quietly, "Why would he?"

She stopped. "I heard you, you idiot," she snapped at him over her shoulder. "I know what you told him to do."

Yes, he had said something like that... but it was ridiculous that she really thought that it was going to happen. "And since when do I give orders and Carlisle follows them?"

That made her hesitate, but when a few moments passed and she was getting uncomfortable with the silence and just didn't know what and how to reply, she tried her best to make him think that she was just frustrated with him still bothering her.

She huffed. "I'm done talking to you, leave me alone."

"But I need you to listen to me, don't you get it? I don't want you to walk away from me without hearing me out first."

"Why?" she almost yelled as she faced him once more, the look on her face as well as her emotions telling him that she was still furious with him. "I'm a disgrace to our kind, a _cripple_ in your eyes. Don't waste your breath on a despicable being like me, I'm way too stupid for you and not worthy of your time."

Jasper was glad that she was finally talking to him and actually uttered more than just a few words, but what she said was a little hurtful. She was mad, he knew that, and she was stating what she thought he thought of her.

_Could it get any worse?_

"Oh, come on... stop that," he groaned. "I've told you, you were not supposed to hear that. I was mad, but I didn't mean it like that."

"_Not like that?_" she queried in a mocking tone of voice and crossed her arms over her chest. "I told you personal things, I told you how I was feeling and you tell him to beat me or kill me, you asshole. There is no way to misunderstand that. If I am so pathetic in your eyes, then why are you following me? What is your fucking problem?!"

He heaved a sigh and lightly shook his head. "I told him to teach you, not beat you."

"Teach me a lesson for being a disgrace to our kind."

Another short groan left his lips right before he started to explain. "No, you silly child, teach you how to fight and control your ability, tell you about our kind so you'd be prepared in case of an attack."

The look in her eyes changed. There was wariness radiating off of her – she didn't know if he was telling the truth or if this was just another attempt to make her stop and listen to him.

Yes, his words confused her.

"I can control it and I can fight," she returned petulantly and gazed at the fresh wound on his hand like it should be proof enough that she was more than just capable of protecting herself from harm.

"You bit my hand because I wasn't being cautious, but you don't know how to fight," he corrected her.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Fine," she replied after a few seconds like she just wanted to humour him and shrugged her shoulders. "But I know about our kind."

He barely managed to suppress a snort. "No, you don't, and hearing that you think you do makes this all the more sad."

Her gaze turned hard.

She felt insulted by his words and immediately let it show. "Shut up, I know who and what we are and-"

"Carlisle makes you think that you do, but you have absolutely no idea," he quickly corrected her and watched her facial expression change from angry and offended to dumbstruck.

Mentioning Carlisle and that he was actually the one betraying her apparently shocked the girl. Jasper didn't know why she reacted like that, because that was exactly what she had thought of the man when she first met him – and for a few months after that. _Not trustworthy, stay away from him..._

It had taken quite a while and a lot of effort to convince her of the opposite, and now this little piece of information had probably ruined everything she had believed to be true.

Jasper could see her swallow in nervousness, and when she spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "And that's why you're mad at me?"

He took a step back and his face scrunched up at her question. "I'm not mad at you," he argued and shook his head. "I was - and still am - mad at Carlisle."

"And because you cannot insult him, you decided to insult me?" she guessed carefully but sounded like she was very much doubting it.

"Like I said, you weren't supposed to hear that. All I wanted was to get a reaction from Carlisle."

And just like that, she had absolutely no idea how to react to this strange piece of information. "... did it work?" was all she could utter.

_Poor girl... so very confused and clueless._

"I got his attention," he replied vaguely and nodded his head.

* * *

**I'd like to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews! I'm always delighted to see that people are still curious what'll happen next! Thanks :-)**


	11. Chapter 11

Jasper and Maddie were walking at a very slow pace through the forest, both of them seemingly preoccupied with mulling things over in their heads and evading big mud puddles.

Maddie suddenly huffed. "What you said was mean."

"I know, I'm sorry. Don't take it personally," Jasper replied in a soft voice and looked to the ground as he was padding over leaves and dirt.

But apparently she still wasn't over the shock. Of course it was a lot to take in to hear someone from the same coven talk about her like she was no more than a burden, worth no more than the dirt underneath his shoe. Jasper still would have expected her to try and hide that she was hurt by his words. Giving away what she truly was feeling didn't happen too often, and that she would show him that she cared what he thought of her was a peculiar happening.

He'd have thought that she'd just shrug it off in front of him and pretend like his opinion didn't matter.

Well, at least it let him know that she didn't just see him as some random person who happened to live in the same house. No, she also cared about him, because otherwise his words wouldn't have had any effect on her.

And he found out something very interesting as well: She still didn't completely trust Carlisle, as she had half expected him to come after her and do what he had demanded from him.

"It's not my fault that I am the way I am," she snapped, pulling him from his musings. "And I'm not gonna change for _you_."

She spat out the last word like it was poison and the look she shot him could have killed.

He sighed at feeling once again how much his words had wounded the girl and that that emotion made her angry. His pulsing hand was proof of her anger... "Maddie, I told you it was only meant for Carlisle's ears. Come now, no more."

She couldn't change anything about herself even if she wanted to - she didn't know how and Jasper knew Carlisle wouldn't let it happen. He wanted her to be vulnerable and weak, wanted her to be dependent and having the ability to defend herself didn't really fit into their coven leader's plan it seemed.

"He'd smack me if I would talk to him like that."

A snort left him – she was so very right about how Carlisle would react. "Well, then you better not take your anger out on him. Carlisle was furious, he was just about to forget himself and teach me what's what. If Esme hadn't yelled at him to stop and dragged him away from me..."

Jasper could see the exact moment when she understood what he implied, as it suddenly looked like the colour was draining from her face - the pink hue from her recent feed all but gone. "He'd do that?" she queried disbelievingly, her voice so quiet he could barely hear her. "When you make him really angry?"

He looked into her pale face, seeing and feeling her bafflement and at the same time her curiosity. She had never experienced a situation like this before, had never seen Carlisle truly change from father to the typical coldblooded vampire coven leader - this was all new to her.

"See?" he asked. "You really don't know anything."

"But I've made him angry before," she said, her forehead all wrinkled up as she tried to make sense of what her brother had just told her, "like, really angry. He didn't rip my head off or anything."

"There's a difference in offences. Your mistakes are silly and childish, but saying something to purposely insult and challenge Carlisle..."

Feeling slightly offended by the way he described her behaviour, she narrowed her eyes at him before his words sunk in and she realised that she didn't really understand what he was talking about - but she wanted to understand. "Challenge him to kill me?"

Her eyes, now big and round and finally back to their usual bright golden colour, looked up at him as she waited for him to explain what he was getting at. It was a good thing that she asked, because that way she'd know what not to do around Carlisle. "No, that's not what I meant. You know he would never do that."

"But... what do you mean? Challenge him to what? A dare or something?"

"A dare?" he repeated, then barked out a laugh. "No, I'm not talking about a dare, a race or any other form of competition. I meant to say, challenge him in regards of his position as the leader of our coven."

Now it was time for her to release a laugh, even though it sounded more like a very unladylike grunt. She stopped walking and turned to face him. "You wanna be the leader? And marry Esme?! Ha! Hahaha!"

He took a step back at her unexpected reaction and the conclusion she had drawn... and had to keep himself from gaping at her. Now more than ever he would have preferred to walk a little further, but he had to stay with her and therefore was forced to endure this stupidity.

The frustration he often felt when talking to her made itself known again – he had to fight the urge to reach up and massage his temples or pinch the bridge of his nose like Carlisle was prone to do in situations like these. "No, Esme is Carlisle's wife and that won't change. She is not bound to be the coven leader's mate, no matter who would be the leader of the coven."

"She's your mom, that'd be sick," she remarked and shuddered a little at the thought, making him roll his eyes.

"I am not interested in taking Esme as my mate."

"But... you've been with the woman who turned you. Back then, you know."

"I do believe I know a lot more about my past than you do," he snapped as the talk was taking a direction that he had neither anticipated nor wanted. "And I have no idea who told you about me, but it seems that the information you have are all wrong."

"And if she turned you...," she went on like he hadn't said anything to correct her, "and you two have been together... that means you've been with your mom."

Jasper had to concentrate really hard so as not to show any kind of shock or just give her a sharp slap to the back of her head. His past and Maria were none of her business, and he cursed the person who had told her about his life before he joined this coven with Alice.

He let a few seconds pass before he hissed under his breath, "She wasn't my _mother_, you little idiot."

Maddie shook her head. "If she's the one who turned you, she's your mother. Period."

And again, she had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. She was made to believe that half-truth so she would agree to join this coven and give it a chance, otherwise she might have never accepted Carlisle and Esme back into her life. "Stop talking about things you don't understand."

"I think it's gross... dating your own mom," she told him and distorted her face as she probably imagined him snogging Esme... or something equally offensive.

"I did not -," he started to say, but then growled in frustration and closed his eyes. "Shut up. Just shut up."

She glanced sideways at him, and just as he blinked his eyes and released a deep breath, she remarked, "Rose explained that kinda thing to me, it's called Oedipus complex."

Now his patience really was close to snapping. He had just made it abundantly clear that he didn't want to talk about it... and that little chit just went on like he hadn't said a word.

Raking his hand through his blonde mane, he tried to ignore it, but it didn't work. "I did _not_ have Oedipus complex and I have the feeling that you still don't know what it means. You should have paid attention when Rose tried to explain it to you," he barked.

She just shrugged and started to play with a strand of her hair.

"Enough about my past," he stated decisively, then added with a hint of warning, "And don't bring it up again, do you understand?"

"I just thought you wanted to talk about covens and how they work."

"Not like that."

"Oh!" she suddenly exclaimed and slapped her open hand against her forehead, then turned her head to look at him with wide eyes like she had just realised something. "Stockholm syndrome!"

_Not again..._ "What are you talking about?"

"I forgot about Stockholm syndrome... you know, she turned you and kept you and you stayed with her and lo-"

"_Enough_ about my past, all right?" he pressed out through gritted teeth. "I did not suffer from Stockholm syndrome."

"Well, how would you call it then?" she queried and looked at him like she was really expecting an answer.

_Just a little slap to the back of her head..._ No, he had to control himself. "You are giving me a headache."

"Hey, _you_ wanted to talk," she pointed out and blinked at him.

"Yes," Jasper affirmed, "so stop changing the topic all the time."

That only drew a gasp from her as she was obviously busy pretending to be offended by that. "I didn't change the topic! We were talking ab-"

"About Carlisle. About our kind. About covens and coven leaders."

Maddie just turned around and walked over to a tree. With her back she leaned against it, then scooted down until she was sitting on the muddy ground. Her bottom lip protruded just when a sudden sense of boredom hit Jasper and he internally groaned.

"... I left my old coven. No Stockholm syndrome."

The girl chewed on her bottom lip and it seemed that the gears were turning in her head. "She set you free," she concluded and looked up at him, expecting him to tell her she's right.

"Set me free?"

"Yeah... like Dobby. He got a stinky sock and then _Bam!_ he was free," she explained and when he just gave her a weird look, she added, "Just like that."

Now she was comparing him to a wrinkly gnome... _this day just keeps getting better and better._

"That's not how it works," he groused.

"Fine, no socks. Tanya said that most covens stay together, but if someone really wants to leave, the others should let the person go. If they don't, well, too bad."

A little smile appeared on Jasper's face - now they were finally getting somewhere and he was incredibly thankful for that. "What do you think happens if they don't let you go?"

Maddie tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes.

Just then it grew apparent that she had never really thought about that, because it took her a few moments to reply. "Why wouldn't they? Okay, hm, then you have to stay... or convince them to let you go, I guess."

"Let's say you don't accept their decision and really don't want to stay. You try to convince them but they still refuse, what would you do? What would someone else do? Remember that not everyone is gifted like you are. So what else could you do that doesn't involve using your ability?"

She puffed out her cheeks, then slowly released the air through pursed lips as she contemplated that. "... run away?" she guessed.

"Now think about that...," Jasper said and started pacing in front of her. His right hand was resting on his hip while he was wagging the index finger of his injured hand back and forth like a teacher. "They don't want to let you go, but you just run away. What happens?"

Like someone had suddenly hit her with a tranquilliser dart, she let herself fall sideways and pretended she was _that_ close to drifting off. "Jasper, I don't want to do this anymore, I'm bored," she moaned into the wet grass.

He stopped pacing and shot her a sharp glare. "Stop whining and answer me."

Slowly, or rather painfully slowly, she pushed herself up into a sitting position again and groaned as she rubbed both her hands over her face. "I think they would chase after me," came as a reply after a minute or two had passed.

"And then?"

"Then they'd make me stay with them and keep an eye on me so I won't run away again. _Why are you asking me all this?_"

"That's right, and so you have to be very clever when you run away, because otherwise they catch you and punish you," he said, completely ignoring her question. "If you choose not to run but still want to get away from your coven, what could you do?"

Jasper knew she was getting extremely bored with this lesson, even though this was very important for her to know. What if one day she'd decide to spend time away from home, similar to what Edward was doing right now, and then she'd run into a different coven? They might convince her to join them but then refuse to let her leave again because despite her tantrums she's actually useful for certain things. Apart from using her ability to keep herself safe, she still needed to know techniques and methods that would help her escape, preferably unharmed.

"I think I would...," she started to say, then thought for a second and said, "torch them."

A deep frown appeared on his forehead and his hands quickly found their way to his hips. "And I think you shouldn't go anywhere near a fire, Madeline, that's too dangerous for you. You have no experience with burning someone and that plan can easily backfire on you. No, what you'd do is blackmail them, stir up a rebellion so you can overpower the ones in charge or at least escape without anyone noticing, or fight. All of these things can be dangerous. Blackmailing, for example, can be extremely dangerous, depending on how many high-ranking vampires are in command that you'd end up antagonising."

"Okay... so you want me to blackmail Carlisle because he's just one person, and then leave?" she tried and blinked at him in confusion.

"No," he groaned, "that's not what I said and that's not what this talk is about."

She scratched the side of her face. "_You_ want to blackmail Carlisle and leave?"

"Maddie, I'm just trying to teach you a little bit about our kind and how most covens work."

"I don't get it," was all she replied before she noticed the flakes of dried blood underneath her nails that she had just scratched off of her cheek. Not even a second later and she was already busy sucking on her fingertips.

He ran a hand through his hair for what felt like the hundredth time on this day. _Of course she didn't get it, she didn't know any traditional covens... this could take forever_. "What is confusing you? And whatever you are doing there - stop it."

Wiping her hand on the front of her shirt, she said, "You yelled at Carlisle and challenged him... what for? That doesn't make any sense if you don't want to leave and don't want Esme to be your mate."

The last part was just to annoy him - her silly smirk gave her away.

"Leave Esme out of this, it has nothing to do with her. I told you she's not bound to be the coven leader's mate."

She sighed. "Fine, but you want to be the coven leader and then Carlisle would have to take your place, right?"

"No."

"You want Carlisle gone?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Huh?"

Apparently he had to explain it to her in detail so she would stop with this silly guessing. "I criticised Carlisle and the way he is handling a few things. I'm not interested in taking over this coven, I was just determined to let him know what I think about his leadership qualities."

"And why is that wrong?"

"He makes the decisions - I either accept that or leave. But as long as I stay, he insists that I abide by his rules and do as I'm told."

"But if you just let him know what's bothering you, then it doesn't seem fair of him to flip and beat you."

He laughed without humour. "You are right, and he usually wouldn't do that. But you heard me, I yelled at him and insulted the both of you... also, I threw something at him and declared that I wouldn't listen to him anymore."

She sucked in a sharp breath and her eyes grew until they were the size of saucers. "_Uh-oh._"

While her reaction amused him, the thought of what was awaiting him at home popped into his mind and he shuddered a little. Hopefully she was smart enough to never pull such a stunt... "Do you understand now?"

She nodded and stared straight ahead like she was pondering over something, then looked up at him again and wrinkled her nose. "How dumb are you? Don't ever tell Carlisle or Esme what you are about to do if you know they wouldn't like it. Chances are that they won't find out that you don't follow the rules and then you're not in trouble."

"That's what you usually do, huh?"

A shrug of her shoulders, followed by a sly smile.

There was no need for her to look so sly, because in most cases, Carlisle found out - tricking a 300 year old vamp wasn't as easy as she made it out to be.

"I couldn't have done that, because I was too mad at him. I wanted him to see what he's doing wrong and start doing it right. It's his Goddamn job, but he didn't agree with me that there even is a problem. And since he refused to fix what he's done wrong, my anger increased tenfold and I started acting like a lunatic."

"I think you're in big trouble."

The blonde soldier reached up and rubbed a hand over his face. "Yes, I am."

Suddenly she giggled. "I've never seen you in trouble with Carlisle before, I was waiting for that to happen."

_She wouldn't find it so amusing if she knew what it was about..._

"Trust me, I've been in trouble with him more times than I can count, and it has never been an enjoyable experience," he replied and released a long drawn-out sigh. "I wish the sixties had never happened."

"Oh, you know what I still don't get?"

He raised his eyebrows at her question, and she scrunched up her face. "What have you and Carlisle been arguing about that it would lead to you insulting me?"

Jasper opened his mouth to reply, but then stopped himself and thought about it for a moment. He had already given away too much, Carlisle would rip him to shreds if he knew. Still, there was so much she didn't know about and while Carlisle had warned him again not to give her any information about certain things, he actually really wanted her to know what their leader had successfully kept from her.

"Carlisle doesn't want you to know."

She narrowed her eyes at him, now aware that it had definitely something to do with her because of what he just said.

"You have to tell me," she replied matter-of-factly and nodded her head for effect when he just frowned at her.

"And why is that."

The girl released a groan like he was the slow one here. "He'll punish you when we get home, whether you tell me or not. So you can just as well let me know what it's about."

"Mad-"

"Come on, otherwise you little tantrum and your upcoming whooping would be all in vain! ... is that what you want?"

"You mean to say that I should at least make it worth it?" Jasper queried sceptically.

He gazed at her with one eyebrow raised and waited for an answer, but all she did was grin and nod her head.

* * *

**Thank you for your reviews, guys! Hope you liked the chapter and this story is almost over! One, no, two more chapters, I think...**

**Now, what do you think? Is Jasper going to tell Maddie the truth? Hm... ;-)**

**Oh, a quick message to Spawn: Thank you so, so much for reading and taking the time to review my stories! And I'm going to finish all of my stories, I won't abandon any of them, don't worry :) It just takes some time.**

**Thanks for reading, everyone!**


	12. Chapter 12

Jasper narrowed his eyes at her as he contemplated what to do. Was the girl ready to know the truth, and did she really want to hear it?

"Why would you care?" he queried. "You didn't really seem interested in covens and what happens behind the curtain just now."

Maddie gasped, fearing he wouldn't tell her anything, then quickly scrambled to her feet and wiped her dirty hands on the legs of her sweat pants. "What? No, that's not true! I really want to know what's going on. Carlisle wants to keep something from me, tell me why."

_Curiosity and a hint of uncertainty..._

He shrugged his shoulders. "Because he doesn't wants you to know, that's why."

Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she looked around like she needed a moment to figure out why her father was purposely hiding something from her. And it wasn't just anything, it was something regarding her, which made the entire situation even weirder for her.

But her next question told Jasper that she had no clue what it could possibly be.

"... is it something bad?" she asked hesitantly.

"I cannot answer that," he replied curtly and looked down at his hands like he was not going to explain anything at all. He wouldn't force the truth on her, she had to ask for it and he wanted to feel that she had really thought about it.

"Why?" she prompted.

A vibrating sensation in his trouser pocket distracted him for a moment, and he turned his back on the girl to pull his phone out and look at the caller-ID. The display was practically glowing in the dark and the name on the screen made him suddenly feel bad. Usually he wouldn't ignore his beloved wife and immediately accept the call without even hesitating for a second, but now it didn't feel right to interrupt the talk with Maddie.

Slipping the phone back into his pocket, he turned around again and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. "Because it depends on your point of view and where your priorities lie. Do you value your cover or do you think the ability to defend yourself is more important? Do you think humans are the bigger threat, or our cruel, bloodthirsty kind?"

"I-I...," she stammered, and while Jasper could feel her confusion, he just went on.

"Do you think obstinacy is a good excuse for endangering everyone? And would you prefer to be oblivious to what is happening around you, just so that it won't change how you feel about someone? Quite frankly, it depends on you - you need to decide."

She looked at him like his little monologue had only served to confuse her even more. "But I don't know if it's good or bad."

"Well, how would you...," he muttered and turned away from her, heaving a sigh as he tried to decide what would be the right thing to do.

He was convinced that she deserved the truth so she could start doing what was best for her – learn about their kind, acquire fighting skills and work on her ability. Telling her what was going on might finally give her the needed motivation to listen and be willing to learn.

But... was it okay for him to shake her faith in Carlisle and Esme? She was young and seemed comfortable with this family life, maybe even needed it. It gave her a sense of secureness, support and _trust_.

He shook his head.

_Could she really need something that endangered her life? _Everything she liked or even loved about this _family_ was based on lies, and Carlisle was intentionally keeping her in the dark about anything that could make her become suspicious.

"What do you think?" Maddie asked, cutting right through his musings.

He just raised a hand to quiet her and signal that she needed to wait a moment as a thought had just struck him.

Would telling her make him the traitor? Carlisle had betrayed her trust, had kept information from her... but telling her would automatically make him a traitor as well. He had exposed Carlisle and called him out on his foul play, which got him nothing but an angry superior who was going to be beat him into submission once he'd get home. Naturally that reaction was to be expected from a coven leader... there was nothing wrong with that. But Carlisle was a kind person, took a different approach when it came to leading a coven... he should have given his objections at least some thought. That would fit his personality – care for his coven and see to it that all of them were safe and sound. But he somehow didn't live up to his own standards and his reputation: This girl was only safe as long as she had one of them with her – once alone and she was doomed. And as long as she was part of this coven and as clueless as she was now, none of them were truly safe.

So what would be the bigger transgression – disobeying his leader and changing the way Maddie saw him, or letting her continue to walk around completely oblivious to the dangers around her and the danger she brought upon the family?

Would she willingly want to endanger the family? Or would she prefer to be a skilled member of the coven and be able to protect herself and others from whatever was out there?

After all, her days were numbered if she'd ever run into a nomad alone.

Now, despite his upbringing and the knowledge about the true nature of their kind, he needed to try and see it from someone else's point of view – _her_ point of view.

But just before he could even come to a decision, she spoke up.

"I wanna know the truth, and I promise that Carlisle won't find out that I know."

His eyebrows climbed up into his hairline. She stood there in front of him, the look on her face showing nothing but determination and seriousness, and he briefly cleared his throat before he queried, "Are you sure?"

A nod. "Yes. I'd rather know the truth even if I might not like it, than have someone or even a bunch of people lie to me for the rest of my life."

While he had figured that she'd want to know, not just because she was a very curious person but because she couldn't deal with being lied to, he still needed to check if that was what she really and truly wanted. "What if their intention is to see you happy, and that's why they lie?"

"But how can I be happy if I know I'm being lied to? You said there's something Carlisle doesn't want me to know, and so now I know he's lying to me or at least keeping something from me - otherwise I would already know what it is. It will just keep me wondering what's going on until I know. So I'd rather have you tell me now and save myself the worries and doubts."

Somehow the situation was starting to make him feel uncomfortable. "Maybe I should have never said anything," he said, voicing his doubts.

"Well, it's too late for that now," she retorted and shrugged. "And if you don't tell me right here and right now, I will _make_ you or someone else tell me. It's your choice, but I will find out one way or the other, trust me."

"Do you really want to know? Are you sure?"

She just stared at him and eventually he nodded, giving a sigh of defeat.

"You... are not _normal_."

She waited for him to say more, but he didn't – he wanted the message to sink in and for her to understand just what he was implying.

However, her reaction was not exactly what he had anticipated.

"Fuck you," she growled and turned away from him, her arms tightly crossed over her chest.

"Mad-"

She whipped back around and anger was burning in her eyes. "Just because I don't have a stick up my ass and my body's not covered in scars doesn't mean I'm weird. You are the one who's not _normal_ here, Jasper," she snapped and added a nice, deep growl for effect.

"I wasn't trying to insult or trick you – that's exactly what Carlisle wants to keep from you."

Maddie's teeth audibly ground together and she took a few breaths before she shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, he thinks I'm not normal – so what?"

"No, I think you're not normal – and _we all_ _know_ that you are not normal."

"The word 'normal' doesn't even exist for us, so what the hell are you getting at?" she demanded to know, but in her voice wavered a sense of insecurity. He knew that telling her about this would make her nervous or even scared... but better now than never. She had already passed her newborn stage and hadn't picked up any skills or knowledge about their kind, and now it just couldn't wait any longer. Besides, she had wanted to know the truth.

"Your behaviour, your reflexes, your reactions, your lack of skills... you don't fit in," he stated as though it was a known fact – which it was, just not to her.

Something about that statement brought another wave of anger to the surface, and just before she opened her mouth to reply something, he knew she was going to argue with him. "Hey, Carlisle told me I'm doing a great job fitting in, nobody at school was-"

"Forget about school and the humans surrounding us. I'm talking about _our world_."

The look on her face changed and she took a step back, then blinked at him. Her anger diminished instantly, leaving confusion in it's place. "I don't get it."

_She didn't get a lot of things lately..._

"Of course you don't get it – you have no knowledge of anything concerning us."

"No," she argued and shook her head. "I mean, I don't get why it matters. Who cares?"

This 'I don't care'-attitude didn't sit well with Jasper, and his hands were immediately on his hips and a deep frown plastered across his face. "You pose a danger to yourself and to us."

"Right," she said and suddenly snorted with laughter. "I _knew_ you were just trying to trick me! Why would Carlisle intentionally make me dangerous to all of us, huh? That's just stupid. Oh, Jazz..."

"Because he wasn't aware that that's what he's doing, it seems," he started to explain to make her see the severity of the problem, and almost instantly the laughter died in her throat. "It's obvious that he wants you to be dependent on us – _helpless_ if you prefer. That way you can never leave, because you wouldn't be able to survive on your own. _You'll be a child, forever_."

Jasper waited for her reaction, knowing that the last part would enrage her, but she just seemed frozen in place and frozen in her movements. Her face didn't give away what she was feeling, and her emotions were everything and nothing at the same time.

He started to grow concerned when she remained standing where she was, just staring at him even though he had the feeling that she was looking right through him.

Suddenly she took a step back, then another, and then she slowly sunk to the ground to sit in her previous spot by the trunk of an old spruce.

And just before he could say something to check if she was okay, he felt a heavy jolt of rage and luckily ducked in time as she suddenly flung a rock at him.

Looking over his shoulder, he found the missile stuck in a tree fifty feet from them and listened to the hectic rustling sounds that were heading away from them. He turned his head back around and fixed her with a no-nonsense look. "Stop that."

"Why would he do that?!" she shrieked.

"I just told you, he-" "_Shut up!_"

He gave her a moment to breathe away the fresh sensation of anger, then held up his hands in a placating manner. "Calm down, I'll tell you more."

She looked at him like he had just grown a second head. "I'm not sure if I wanna hear more," she whispered into her knees that she hugged to herself. Her emotions were constantly switching from sadness to rage, from fear and insecurity to hate and distrust.

Jasper internally groaned at the assault on his ability... maybe these information were a little too much at a time, but she had asked him to tell her.

"Yes, you do. Only half of the story is not going to give you the full picture, don't you think?"

With slow steps he approached her, then sunk down on the muddy ground next to her.

His phone was vibrating again at that moment, but he ignored it like he had before.

"His priorities are all wrong," he said in a calm voice, hoping she would hear it over her hectic breathing.

"Huh?"

"He made sure you would still fit into the human world as it is our cover and has enabled us to stay in a place for a few years at a time. By putting too much effort into keeping you as human as possible, he suppressed you vampire nature."

Maddie didn't reply to that, she just pulled her knees even tighter to herself and waited for him to go on.

"The problem is that you are not human anymore and you'll never fit in completely. But you also don't fit into our world, because you don't know anything about it. You stick out like a sore thumb and that makes you vulnerable."

Only her emotions let him know that she had heard him and was thinking about it. Her eyes were fixed on the dark, wet forest floor and she didn't even once glance at him. "There aren't many of us, but a whole lot of humans," she eventually mumbled into the fabric of her sweat pants. She sounded weak and sad, but stopping now wouldn't make any sense, and so Jasper continued.

"No, there are a lot more than you think, you just haven't met them yet. And most of them are like wild beasts and not like the civilised people we are trying to be. I used to be more like them, and I could have killed you single-handedly in the blink of an eye without feeling even the tiniest bit of pity or remorse."

It looked like a jolt went through her body, and suddenly her pitch black eyes were focussed on him and the piercing look she sent him was making him a little uncomfortable.

"And because I am not a wild beast you think I'm not _normal_? Would I be more to your liking if I wanted to kill someone?"

"No, that's not what I mean. I just want you to know what our kind is like, and that they don't hesitate to kill someone if the person is a thorn in their side or just because they feel like it. I want you to be prepared and be able to defend yourself in case you ever run into someone like that."

Despite her anger, she rolled her eyes and let out a snort. "Emmett doesn't kill anyone... is he _normal_?"

"Yes, he is. He fights like a bear, you know he does."

"Then why do you think I'm different? What did Carlisle do differently that Em turned out the way he has and I am 'not normal' in your eyes?"

"That isn't necessarily Carlisle's doing – it's Rose."

"Rose taught him how to fight?"

"No, but she is one of the main reasons _why_ he fights. They were mated right from the start, and with that comes a very strong sense of protectiveness. And he's incredibly strong and as a part of a small coven where _seemingly_ everyone enjoys equal rights, he naturally developed the mindset that he needs to keep everyone safe."

His explanation made a pout appear on her face, like he had just accused her of not caring about anyone except her own. "I also don't want you guys to get hurt or killed."

"But there isn't much you could do to protect anyone, not even yourself," he replied in an attempt to make his sister see. "That's the difference. Plus, your weakness affects all of us."

And her mood changed again. Bitterness mixed with anger enveloped him, coming off of her small frame. "So you lied to me, you meant what you said in Carlisle's study."

"No."

"Oh, please...," she scoffed.

"I was mad and just vented my frustration on Carlisle... I wanted him to see what he's done, and so I intentionally went overboard with the insults to show him what's happened."

Despite him trying to sound honest, she turned away from him and he felt disappointment and sadness coming off her. It would still take a while until she would forgive him, but eventually she would and that made her disappointment more bearable.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed her glancing at him, and just at that moment she asked, "But what about Tanya and the others? I spent almost two years with them... it doesn't have anything to do with Carlisle, it's their doing."

Well, at least they weren't talking about him insulting her anymore...

"No," he replied, "they've done what Carlisle asked them to. You are his offspring, not theirs. And since he wanted you back, they could only teach you what you needed to know in order to be around humans. These were his instructions. Carlisle made and still makes all the decisions regarding you and your life."

This revelation didn't exactly lift her spirits, but just then he realised that there was something he could do. It would make her feel better, because then she knew something that would help her in a fight, and it would distract her from her current feelings.

"You have never been bitten before, have you?" he asked.

Slowly Maddie turned her head towards him, her eyes still darkened. "You mean apart from the bite that changed me?"

"I'm not talking about that one."

She moved her right index finger, eyeing the faint scar around the base and lightly running her thumb over it. "No... Edward has ripped my finger off before, but nobody ever bit me."

He held up his injured hand – it was smeared with sweet-smelling venom and glistening slightly in the dim moonlight. "Any injury you'll ever inflict or that will ever be inflicted on you will hurt. If you lose a finger, a leg or your head – it will _hurt_. The pain however, will decrease as soon as the body part is reattached and the tissue and bone is starting to knit back together. But bite wounds are something different altogether. They sent a scorching pain through the part that's been bitten and they weaken your body more than any of the other injuries – depending on the size, of course. You body needs to fight the strange venom, but it cannot burn it up. Your wound will not close up and heal until every last drop has been pushed out, and the pain will not diminish in the least. In fact, it becomes even stronger the longer the foreign venom is in your body, like a severe inflammation."

She swallowed audibly before a whispered _I'm sorry_ left her lips.

"No, that's not why I'm telling you this. I'm not mad at you, and I'm pretty good with pain. I have fought many battles, and a little bite wound won't affect me all that much anymore. Besides, you have a tiny jaw, just like Alice. Feels like a mosquito bite," Jasper told her, trying to ease her guilt a little. He had invaded her personal space, and she had just reacted accordingly. Now, if they were living in a traditional coven and she had attacked him - her superior - like that, she might have lost a limb or two, but they were different and she hadn't meant to be disrespectful.

Lucky her.

She snorted and reached over to poke the wound with her finger, but he quickly pulled his hand away and held it out of her reach.

"How long does it take until the wound is clean again and starts to heal?"

"Have you ever tried using a thick liquid to wash a thick liquid out of something? It's not a very quick process... I could try sucking it out or squeezing my hand some, but it doesn't make that big of a difference." He scratched at the skin around the crescent shaped wound, but the pain only intensified and he quickly stopped disturbing the lesion.

With a raised eyebrow and a knowing smile, she said, "So if I'd ever have to fight, I need to bite the person."

"Exactly. And when your attacker stumbles back in pain and surprise, you rip off a limb or just try to inflict more bite wounds. Do not hesitate for even a second, because the adrenaline rush from your bite will make them attack you almost instantly. But beware – the closer you are to your enemy, the higher the chances that you get bitten as well. Make sure to take off an arm, because then it's harder to grab you and pin you down."

"Why not take off a leg?" she asked and scratched the side of her nose. "That way the other one cannot run and get help."

Now it was his time to snort and laugh. "Run and get help? No, no, no... anyone with the ability and skill to fight won't run. It's similar to the blood frenzy you experience when tasting human blood, but it's directed against you. A very pronounced destructive frenzy – they won't stop until you are no more than a smoking pile of body parts. And running from a little girl? That's not going to happen, so that's actually good for you, come to think of it. They might underestimate you, which gives you an advantage."

"Why didn't Carlisle tell me that? I thought he needs to offer guidance, that's his job... but he made everyone keep all that from me." Maddie hung her head and whispered dejectedly, "_I really don't know how to fight._"

A quiet sigh left him. "He thinks that if you learn more about our kind, you would be too difficult to control and it would be too hard for you to control yourself. Our vampire nature is very instinct driven, aggressive and possessive... he thinks you couldn't fit in anymore when you're amongst humans and that way you'd give our secret away."

And suddenly her jaw dropped. "He thinks I'd mess up?"

Well, all of them have the potential to expose their race to the world... but yes, that was what Carlisle actually thought. He was convinced that she'd lose it and ruin his cover just by _knowing_ what she was, when actually her ignorance was a far bigger threat to their well-being.

"It's a risk he doesn't want to take."

"That doesn't even make any sense," she retorted while shaking her head. "All of you know how to fight, and you can control yourselves. And besides, not knowing how to fight is a risk as well, you said so."

She had listened and understood what he had tried to teach her, and even though he felt a little proud of her for that, he couldn't let it show - there was no way he would start praising her now as it really didn't fit the situation. "Yes, but he thinks that at least that doesn't give our secret away to humans. If a coven rips you apart, our secret would still be safe."

Her anger invaded him so quickly, it felt like a slap to the face. "He wouldn't give a shit, right? As long as he can continue to cut people open and have them praise him for being the best fucking doctor in the whole wide world, everything's cool. Wow."

"No, that's not true. Since you never fully lived out your vampire side except for a couple of times during your newborn phase, you're behaviour is still very much _human_. And having someone who fits right in and doesn't raise any suspicions is the best cover there is. Even if one of us would draw attention to our family for whatever reason, people wouldn't come to the conclusion that we are not human. They'd just think we have a couple of weirdos in the family and then feel sorry for the rest of us for having to put up with that."

"But I'd get killed if I'm on my own and run into someone - he doesn't care about that."

"I told you that he doesn't want you to be able to live on your own, remember? The less you know, the smaller the chance of you leaving. Who would let someone go that can keep the cover alive so well and additionally have a useful ability? He doesn't want to give that up, and that's why you can't fight and are not able to fend for yourself."

"I think I'm going to be sick," she said in a strained voice.

"Keep the blood down, you need it," he commented dryly. He wasn't in the mood for watching her vomit and he didn't think that it would solve anything.

A few deep breaths and she seemed to feel less nauseous. "I'm just... I don't understand why he's so cruel and only changed me for _that_. Carlisle and Esme said they did it bec-"

His eyes widened instantly. _Since when was she that gullible?!_ He'd seen a lot of humans getting bitten and then going through the transformation, and not one of them was changed out of_ love_... No matter how many human characteristics Carlisle's having, he's still a vampire and a coven leader at that, and therefore would always put himself and his mate first. His coven came next and then... his car maybe, before he'd even think about doing something for someone else.

"Ha, why else would you change someone? It's never for anything but selfish reasons, it's not a romantic process or out of pure love... it's because someone seems useful. That's the only reason why you are here now and not rotting six feet under next to your dear mother."

At that moment, Maddie's nausea came back full force and Jasper watched her turn to the side as she emptied her stomach onto the forest floor, her whole body seemingly determined to get every last drop of her latest meal out of her. More blood was coming up by the second and she got on all fours, the red puddle growing bigger as she retched violently.

Jasper got up from the ground and pulled her up as well so as to make sure she wouldn't soil herself. He steadied her with one hand around her upper arm and used the index and middle finger of his injured hand to rub comforting circles on her back. He doubted that it would help much, but at least it wasn't making anything worse.

She was only dry heaving now, and Jasper felt a pang of guilt at seeing that she was paler than ever and shaking like a leaf. He'd have expected her to at least know why their kind went through all the trouble of changing someone...

"Feeling better know?" he queried awkwardly and wiped strands of her hair out of her face when there seemed to be nothing left in her stomach and she only spit venom into the pool of blood.

She turned around on shaky legs and wiped her sleeve over her face. Tears had filled her eyes from the painful convulsions, and she tried to remove them and the remnants of blood from around her lips and nose. "He lied to me, about everything."

Jasper gave her a curt nod, then looked the other way as he wasn't quite sure what to do now. "It's common knowledge that creating someone is only for your maker's own benefit...," he added, but wasn't sure if it would help the situation or just end up making it even worse.

She spit another glob of venom onto the ground, then tried to breathe a new wave of sickness away.

He frowned.

Weirdly enough, that little fact, the fact that changing someone was a selfish act, disturbed her a lot more than not knowing how to fight... he would have thought it would be the other way around. To him her extremely human ways and the lack of fighting skills were by far the bigger problems here.

"Maybe... maybe it wasn't all selfish of him," he tried to soothe her. "Esme wanted another child to coddle and since he cannot say No to her..."

"I'm going to bite him," Maddie suddenly declared and sniffed as venom started to clog her nose and her eyes watered up again.

He jerked his head back around at hearing her _brilliant_ plan. "Forget that, it won't work."

Stumbling back and right into her pool of sick, she gaped at him. "Huh?"

"You share the same venom," Jasper informed her, then seized her by the arm and pulled her to stand next to him.

The way she scrunched up her face told him that she wasn't just clueless when it came to covens and fighting, but also when it came to the properties of venom...

"So?" she asked, running her sleeve over her wet eyes.

"His venom is flowing through your body – do you really think his own venom will hurt him all that much?"

"But-"

"Why would you create someone who'd eventually be able to overpower you? No, you can't really hurt him - he is older and more experienced, and the chances that you'll finish him off are almost non-existent. Face it, you'll always be inferior."

Venom flooded her eyes again, and she bit her lip and hung her head.

Before Jasper could reach out and put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, she suddenly stomped her foot in rage and despair. "I won't go back... I don't ever want to see him again."

He audibly sucked in a breath, immediately drawing her attention to himself. "That's not going to solve anything."

"But I hate him and he's just using me."

"Remember when I said that he doesn't want you to know about any of that? Why do you think he was so furious with me and why I'm going to face hell once we return? If you don't come back with me, he knows that I've told you everything."

She hesitated before she replied, "But I don't think I can ever look at him again now that I know."

"You'll have to."

"I don't have to do anything," she hissed at him as her hands balled up into tight fists.

"What do you think is going to happen to me if he finds out that I've told you? And what do you think is going to happen to you, hm?"

"Oooh...," she started to whine and pressed her fists against her temples.

* * *

**Yep, I know what you think. _What a jerk..._ but he was doing what he thought was right. Maybe he should have listened to Carlisle when he tried to explain it to him. Hm.**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, guys! See you in the next chapter (which won't be the last but the second last because I suck at planning things, sorry)! ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

The soft sound of footsteps heading down the stairs made Carlisle turn his head to look into the foyer, from where his daughter Alice was suddenly giving him a 'deer in headlights'- kind of look. In one of her hands she was holding her phone, while her other one was wrapped around a mint green T-shirt.

"Alice, where are you going?" Esme inquired as she got up from the couch, and Carlisle immediately saw how his wife's question made the girl take a step back and swallow heavily.

"I need to... I was...," she stammered and glanced in between them and then at the front door. Her behaviour was peculiar, and the coven leader couldn't help but frown with concern at noticing this.

Just before he could voice his guess as to what Alice had been about to do, Esme spoke up.

"You will not go find Jasper and Maddie. Let them talk in private."

"But I-"

"No, Alice." Esme's voice was firm, the look on her face however, sympathetic and even a little sad.

Alice's face scrunched up. "Mom, you don't understand... I need to tell them something."

Despite the pleading tone of voice their black-haired daughter was using, Esme didn't seem willing to give it much thought. She just shook her head as she leaned against the door frame with her shoulder and gave a mild sigh before she said, "I believe that can wait, dear. Be patient, they will be back shortly, I'm sure."

Alice let her shoulders droop as she looked longingly at the front door, then took a step back and sat down on the stairs. The shirt was put on the step next to her, while she looked down at the phone and ran her thumb over the display like she was waiting for a call. It was obvious that she still wanted to go and do what she had intended to do before she was stopped by them, but her mother's orders effectively kept her from leaving.

When Esme saw that Alice remained inside and didn't give her any backtalk, she pushed away from the door frame and made her way back over to the leather couch to take a seat and continue knitting blue woollen socks that seemed to be Edward's size. Just as her fingers picked up the knitting work, she started to hum a tuneless melody like she had just entered a different world.

Taking his eyes off of his wife and glancing at his petite daughter, Carlisle couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong here. Alice obeying them was no reason to be worried, of course, but seeing her so crestfallen and down was.

"Is there something you have seen?" he queried while taking a few steps toward Alice, who immediately shot up into a standing position and stepped backwards onto a higher step as he drew nearer.

"I see a lot of things," she quickly replied, purposely keeping her answer vague, "I just don't know what's truly going to happen."

Carlisle stopped where he was and squinted his eyes at her as he softly asked, "Anything bad?"

The alarmed expression left her face and sadness took its place. "I'm not sure. Everything will eventually turn out fine, I know that, but I don't know how long it will take."

Carlisle knew his daughter. He knew when something was bothering or worrying her, and this was unmistakeably one of those moments when he felt her uneasiness and could see that her visions must have shown her something unfavourable that she wanted to prevent from happening - or at least influence the outcome to some degree, so that it would turn out less severe than anticipated. "Is there something we can do?"

She shook her head and her eyes turned even sadder. "No."

Seeing her like this broke the leader's heart, but he didn't know how to help her when she said that there was nothing he could do. While he preached his children to be patient whenever something that couldn't immediately be changed bothered them, he himself was having trouble minding this advice at the very moment. The problem was that he couldn't judge the future when Alice was the only one knowing what's going to happen.

"Do we have to be concerned?"

Instead of elaborating what she had seen or why she was feeling so down, she gave her father yet another quite vague reply that only served to confuse him.

"_I_ am concerned...," she said, "_you_ just need to be patient and show understanding."

Then all of a sudden her eyes, as well as her voice, turned pleading. "Please, Daddy, can you do that? You have to try, promise me."

He blinked at her. "Alice, honey, you are making me worried."

She descended the stairs and ran over to him, then got on her tip-toes and slung her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry."

Running his hands up and down her small back, he felt her cold breath seep through his shirt as he told her that there was no need to apologise.

"Will you promise me?" she whispered into his chest.

"Alice, I-" "It wasn't my intention to worry you, Dad, I just need your promise. Please."

His promise.

His promise was the one thing that would help his girl now, and additionally make the potential outcome less grave than what she was fearing it would without it. Of course he would try and show understanding to whoever she was talking about – this was what he always has done and would always do, no matter the circumstances. But that she would ask something of him that should go without saying, made him draw back a little.

"What have you seen, Alice?" he inquired, his voice heavy with worry as his eyes locked onto hers. "Tell me what's scaring you."

Seemingly unable to hold his gaze, she hung her head and took a step back, so that his arms fell to his sides. Not a single word left the girl's lips, and Carlisle started to realise that it just wasn't his time to know. Whether he liked it or not, he had to accept it for now.

"I promise, dear," he eventually stated.

His own words served to calm the man and he forgot all about his worry and confusion as he watched his daughter standing in front of him.

Lifting her eyes until they met his, Alice seemed to zone out for a second before her lips stretched into a little smile and she whispered, "Now I'm not scared anymore."

* * *

Maddie's head felt like it was about to burst. Jasper had just affirmed all of her concerns and worries that she had had right after she was changed. All these past years, she had feared that maybe they were true and she had been right after all... but this one time, she actually didn't want to be right. The thought of spending eternity with people who loved her was a lot more pleasant than being forced to stay with someone who only used her and lied to her. It had taken quite some time for her to accept that some stranger had violently taken her choice from her, and the only thing that had made it better was that he had only done so, because he didn't want to watch her die.

Well, now she knew the reason for that.

Maddie felt like the biggest idiot for believing all this bullshit they had told her over the years... lies about love and a happy life. Maybe she deserved all this for being so stupid.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jasper shift his weight, and suddenly realised how late it was and how much time had passed since she had run. It was probably almost midnight by now - she had missed all of her favourite TV shows.

That thought helped to distract her for a moment, but the feelings of betrayal and pain found her again.

She sniffed, and promptly had a hand rub her shoulder.

"Stop that," she hissed when she felt her mood lighten and the painful feeling of her heart constricting being lifted as well. She didn't want to feel better, because there was no need to feel better. He'd just told her that her entire existence was based on nothing but lies! And even the people she thought she trusted right from the beginning had been lying to her by keeping this 'tiny' little fact from her.

"I don't want you to suffer," he told her and buried his hands in his trouser pockets.

Unable to control her emotions at the moment, she started to fume at his statement. "It's too late for that now, isn't it? I knew it, I_ fucking_ knew it... God, I'm such an idiot," she growled and kicked at a cone lying on the ground right next to her feet to send it flying into the night.

"Mad-," he started to say, but she interrupted him almost instantly. "And now I'm supposed to go back to that asshole and pretend I'm okay with him using me?!"

"We have to go back," he said, sounding extremely calm but at the same time oddly urgent.

Her jaw dropped and she gasped for breath. "_Why?!_"

She couldn't think of just one good reason why she would have to go back. There was _nothing_ that bound her to Carlisle, that she couldn't live without... she didn't need money to feed herself, she wasn't dependent on having a roof over her head. She could find her way around the area, around the state, the country, the continent. She didn't need to fit in anywhere – not that she ever felt like she truly has had any friends her age in this 'afterlife'...

Maybe she was better off alone, and if someone would ever grow suspicious, she would just make them forget.

Too bad that she wasn't granted the luxury of forgetting in this life, but was doomed to slowly forget whatever had influenced and shaped her character during her human life. Good times and bad times, her family and friends, her entire childhood... it was like watching sand slipping through an hourglass.

Who knew, it could all be gone in a few years and then she'd only be a shadow of her former self. That was something she couldn't change – what she could change however, was her future: She was determined to not let Carlisle turn her into the person _he_ wanted her to be.

Anything was better than than that.

Jasper's voice suddenly cut through her thoughts. "It's where we belong," he said.

"I don't think so," Maddie scoffed in response, then used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to mop up another tear that had just spilled over. "I'm never going back."

Her unwillingness obviously bothered him, because he didn't accept her replies but instead tried to remind her that she basically had no choice.

"Didn't I tell you what happens when you leave a coven, but your coven leader doesn't allow you to leave?"

_Are you serious?!_

"If he doesn't let me go, I'll make him kill Esme," she stated with a growl and shrugged her shoulders once, like that would be the logical solution to their problems. He gave her a look like she had officially lost her mind, which she of course noticed.

"What?" she asked. "You said blackmailing is an option, and he wouldn't risk losing her, right?"

He quietly groaned. "Maddie, be reasonable, there is no need for this. And besides, he wouldn't fall for that – your don't want to see Esme dead and he knows it."

"So? I'm a _stupid_ kid – act first, think later. He won't risk it, wanna bet?"

She saw him swallow hard, then look away from her as he seemingly needed a moment to mull things over.

"That way you can leave too, and he won't beat you," Maddie added, trying to be helpful, and blinked at him as he didn't say anything for way too long. "Problem solved."

That was their way out – so simple, quick and easy. Besides, she wouldn't have to be alone and Jasper wouldn't have to suffer for helping her.

But he only shook his head and sighed. "Running doesn't solve anything, Maddie."

"Yes, it does!" she retorted, giving him a look of sheer exasperation. Why stay with a manipulative bastard who's going to seriously beat the shit out of you, just because he doesn't like that you're actually doing the right thing? Nobody deserved that kind of treatment and she was not going to hang around and wait until it was her turn to feel the man's wrath.

Again, he didn't agree with her. "That way he'll know that I've told you what he's keeping from you."

"So? That won't matter, because we don't have to answer to him anymore. Call Alice and tell her to pack up." She stood there, looking at his trouser pocket, expecting him to pull out his phone and give his wife a call.

He shook his head.

"No. You need to understand that I didn't tell you all that with the intention of leaving our coven."

"Then why did you tell me how I can leave a coven for good and how to hurt someone?" she queried and tilted her head to the side, watching him. Jasper confused her, now more than ever.

"Carlisle is no worse than any other coven leader."

"We don't need him, and I'm not going to join a stupid coven ever again," she growled out, angered by his calmness and his stalling.

"Covens are-" "I'm fine on my own, I don't need anyone."

Now Jasper was growing impatient with her, which she noticed with satisfaction, because she was growing impatient with him as well.

"And what about Rose and Emmett?" he asked and wiped a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Do you really want to leave and never see them again?"

_Huh?_

"I..."

No... no, she didn't like the thought of losing everyone. She just wanted to get away from Carlisle, and Esme for that matter, but that didn't mean she would be okay with having to leave every single person behind. Well, all of them had basically lied to her by keeping information from her... but maybe it wasn't their fault. Maybe Carlisle had forced them to lie to her, and so they didn't have any other choice but to do as he told them.

"I'll just ask them to come with us," she said determinedly and gave a nod.

"I'm not going to leave, Alice doesn't want to leave and I'm sure that neither Rose nor Emmett want to leave. This is were we belong," he said slowly like he was talking to a very stupid child.

"Suit yourself," she snorted, then turned around and started to walk away. She had no idea where she was going and what she'd be doing there, but she knew that she couldn't endure the thought of staying wherever their _father_ was.

Now his patience snapped. "Hey, you're not going anywhere, come back." His voice was firm and authoritative, and Maddie could practically hear him putting his hands on his hips.

"No."

"Don't be so impulsive. Let's sit and talk," he said a little softer now, making her whip back around and glower at him.

"We _just_ talked!" she suddenly yelled, her voice still thick from tears and her dark eyes gleaming angrily in the moonlight. "I'm sick of talking and I don't wanna hear any more! All I want is to get away from here as far as possible and never look back."

"Mad-"

"Are you coming?"

He looked at her like he really wasn't comfortable with the situation, but her determination didn't waver. In fact, it only became stronger while her eyes bore into his, waiting for him to make up his damn mind.

Eventually, and after seemingly forever, he started to move towards her. Maddie didn't know if he would truly come with her or just trail after her for a while so she wouldn't be on her own and get lost or something, but she didn't care. Jasper wasn't the threat here – Carlisle was.

Turning around, Maddie continued walking again, and just as she wanted to break out into a run, Jasper's voice sounded over to her.

"Wait up."

"We need to hurry," she shot back over her shoulder and shook her head at seeing that he was moving with the speed of a sloth.

"Maddie, it isn't that easy. Let me explain."

With a loud groan she turned around, now walking backwards. "Yes, it is," she hissed through gritted teeth. "And if you're not coming with me, I'll just leave on my own."

"Stop thinking about running away, I thought you realised that you cannot fight. What if you run into someone?"

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

Maddie really didn't care who she'd meet on her journey, as long as it wasn't Carlisle.

"That's too risky. And where are you headed anyways?" He tried to make her slow down and listen to what he had to say, or at least take a moment to think things through – peculiar how he suddenly didn't bark orders at her like he usually tended to do.

She walked slower now, but still wasn't willing to halt and waste time talking about everything. "Anywhere is better than here."

Jasper squinted his eyes at his sister, and suddenly she stopped where she was. Then after a moment, she took a step back and crossed her arms.

The look he gave her and his question about where she actually wanted to go made her a little uncomfortable. Being alone wasn't exactly what she had wanted for herself and her future, but she figured that it couldn't be worse than staying with a dirty liar.

"Maybe I'll find Edward," she said out loud, but that little flicker of hope was crushed by her brother's response in the blink of an eye.

"I don't think that you will. You don't strike me as a good tracker and in order to trace someone, you also need to know how to cover up your own tracks."

She opened her mouth to return something, but then figured that what he said didn't deserve a reply.

Her silence and the stubborn look on her face made him groan, and he tiredly rubbed a hand over his face.

"Your smell is all over the place now, especially since you stomped through your own sick. Carlisle will find you before you even have the chance to make a decision in which direction you want to take off."

Looking down at the ground and checking the soles of her feet, she distorted her face and hung her shoulders.

Great, another thing she sucked at. This life was getting more complicated by the second... still, she wouldn't give up just yet.

"I'll take my chances."

His face was unreadable, but Maddie knew that he wouldn't stop pestering her. He was convinced that running away would end in disaster, but he'd just have to accept that she was not going to stay.

"How about Alaska?" he suggested after briefly clearing his throat.

Her eyes widened for a moment, but she quickly caught herself and coughed instead. "No way," was her reply, and she tried her hardest to make it sound like his idea was just plain stupid.

"Wouldn't you like to see Tanya and Carmen again?"

Well, she would love to go back to Denali and stay there... it just wasn't possible. "But they have to listen to Carlisle... they'll send me back."

His brow furrowed. "Why would they send you back when Carlisle is allowing you to stay at their place? And no, they don't have to listen to him. He is not head of their coven, and so he cannot force them to do anything that they don't want to do."

And just like that, she felt her confusion peak and instantly gaped at Jasper. "Are you kidding me?! You said that-"

"Maddie, there is no need to go over that now."

That did not answer anything, and that's why Maddie just stood there, waiting for him to explain.

He sighed. "If you'd leave Carlisle's coven, you're no longer his charge. That way he cannot make any decisions about you, where you are or anything else regarding your life. But I want to remind you that there's really no reason for leaving."

Maddie felt her surprise give way to relief and knew Jasper would be able to feel it as well.

"Really?" was her whispered question as she was hoping it would be the truth. "I'd be free?"

He nodded. "It's true, no one has authority about anyone who's not part of their coven."

And despite everything he had just told her a mere few minutes ago, she felt the corners of her lips twitch. The thought of not being manipulated and having rules to follow that were only set in place first and foremost for someone else's well-being, the thought of being free of all that, appealed to her more than anything at the moment.

"Are you willing to listen to me now?" he asked. "Everything needs to be planned out, you cannot just bolt now and hope for the best. There are more than enough dangers out there, so take a moment and think things through."

"We still need to get away from here, so stop stalling! We cannot waste any time, Jasper!"

He waved her objections off and was as calm as ever. "You said you'd just blackmail him, that gives you all the time in the world."

Maddie thought about that and realised that he was right – that _she_ was right. This factor, the possibility of forcing Carlisle to let her go, gave her more than enough time, because she could leave whenever she wanted. She didn't have to flee from him - she could just pull the killing-card when she felt like it and he'd have no other choice but to watch her leave. Not that she was really interested in seeing him again and having to listen to his lies and attempts to make her change her mind, but that was a problem she could deal with at a later time.

Wiping her arm over her face one last time to remove any remnant traces of her breakdown, she gave a nod. "Okay, let's make a plan."

Jasper suggested they sit down on the boulders by the river. The gurgling of the water was calming and the background noises would make it harder for anyone to overhear them. Not that there was Carlisle or Esme nearby, but the added security measure helped Maddie to relax some more.

Now she was willing to listen to Jasper's idea, that unfortunately involved them going home again.

"But I don't want to!" she argued, and while she tried to sound determined, her voice came out as a whine. "I told you I can't!"

"Hey, stop yelling right now. Let me explain."

"But-" "Once you know my plan you can argue, but not a second sooner, understood?"

Gulping, she hesitantly nodded her head. "Fine... what is your plan?"

He looked at her a moment longer, to check if she would indeed remain quiet and let him explain, then gave a satisfied nod. "First and foremost, Carlisle is not supposed to find out that I ignored his orders, because it would make it exceedingly more difficult for me to train you. You agreed to keep this from him."

She hung her head and didn't argue.

"The reason why I told you wasn't because I want to make you leave – I want you to learn how to fight, how to defend yourself and protect others. That's only possible if you know more about our kind and the dark, deceiving and selfish characteristics that we are all carrying in us."

"You said I cannot hurt him, so why would fighting-"

"_What did I just tell you, huh?_" he asked impatiently and gave her an exasperated look. "Be quiet and listen."

When she nodded her head again, he went on.

"I want you to know what's out there and understand why our kind acts the way it does and why we are different. That is what's important here and what you should be concentrating on - not dwelling on the circumstances of your transformation. And I'm not talking about you fighting Carlisle, but about fighting in general."

"Jasper...," Maddie tentatively said to check if it would be okay for her to say something now.

"Yes?"

"How am I supposed to learn how to fight when Carlisle doesn't want me to?"

"That's what I was just trying to tell you: I'll train you when he's not around."

"How about we leave? Then he definitely won't find out, or at least it won't matter."

Her plan was better than Jasper's, she knew that it was, but he just released a frustrated groan and snapped, "No. No matter how you feel about him right now, we are still much safer here than anywhere else."

She frowned at him. "I thought you were a soldier, you know how to fight."

"That doesn't mean that I want to give up all the conveniences we have grown accustomed to. This life is a lot more comfortable and so much more calmer than if we were to roam the country and fight about every little thing. We don't feed on humans, there is no need to run the risk of getting attacked just because a few nomads think we are after their prey."

Sure, he did have a point, but Maddie didn't see why their lifestyle and the 'vegetarian' diet was only possible under Carlisle's lead. They could succeed on their own, she knew they could. "Then we'll just settle down somewhere. We can lead the same life, just without getting used and lied to."

"And what kind of story are we supposed to tell the humans that surround us? There are going to be too many questions, people will ask about our family, what has happened and so on. Plus, neither one of us looks old enough to be your guardian. I don't want to have to deal with CPS, just because they think we need help raising you."

"We'll just pick a human couple," she replied. "I make them think we are their nieces and nephews or something, and then no one will ask questions. Easy-peasy."

"That's not _easy-peasy,_" he said after giving a short growl of annoyance and frustration. "You'll constantly have to alter their memories, because we won't act human all the time, especially not when we are home. Then we'll be surrounded by their human smell, and sooner or later one of us will attack them. Face it, it's going to be too difficult for us to maintain a cover, because you cannot fully control what they might say about us when we're not around."

"Um, yes I can," she argued and rolled her eyes.

With a huff, he scooted closer to her and raked a hand through his blonde mane. "No, you're not even in full control of your ability, it just wouldn't work," he told her, trying to make her understand. "We'll never be able to relax and feel at home when we're constantly running the risk of getting exposed. Carlisle has spent decades trying to find a believable and safe cover story, and this is the one that works best for us."

"For _him_, you mean."

"Yes, for him. But for us, too. Quite frankly, this way of living spares us a lot of confrontations with other vampires – however, there is always the possibility of getting attacked and that's why all of us need to be able to fight."

It was quiet for a little while as Maddie contemplated what he had said and Jasper granted her the time she needed. She figured that he probably was right about a few things, but there was still something that she didn't quite understand.

"Why do you want to stay when you know what he'll do when you get back?"

"I've been in trouble with him before," he told her. "He's not going to kill me, and while I still think I've done the right thing by pointing out what he's been doing wrong, I maybe should have tried to control my temper. I was aggressive towards him and very disrespectful, and that's something a coven leader won't tolerate."

Hm.

Picking up a flat stone, Maddie held it in between her fingers before she flung it into the running water, all the while thinking about what Jasper had just told her. He was still willing to submit to their leader for being disrespectful, even though Carlisle didn't deserve any respect after what he had done to all of them. He had purposely made her dependent on help, made her the weakest link in their armour – a course of action that could cause deaths. No matter what anyone would tell her, if someone would die protecting her or because she failed to help someone else, she'd feel responsible for that and carry that burden until her own death would take her from this world. She would be forced to look into the eyes of the widow or widower and endure their silent accusations, and they would be forced to live with their loss for the rest of their existence.

That wasn't some noble act – it was disgusting and cruel. Jasper was bending to the commands of a tyrant, and Maddie just couldn't see why.

"I don't want to go back."

He threw his hands in the air. "And I'm not going to let you leave on your own. That's too dangerous."

"Well, you don't have a choice, because you said you want to stay," she pointed out with her index finger directed at him.

"Maddie, why are you planning to leave when there is no reason for it? Everyone was changed for selfish reasons, that's something you just need to accept and move on. The fact that you don't know how to defend yourself is the real problem here, and leaving the safety of a coven just because your feelings are hurt is plain stupid."

Her eyes narrowed. "Shut up, I can do whatever I want."

"Good God, stop being so stubborn - it'll only get you killed."

She didn't say anything in return, just crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the water that looked almost black in the darkness.

He released an exasperated sigh. "Where is your phone?" he asked, making her eyes instantly go wide before she turned her head to look the other way.

"So?"

"I threw it away...," she replied half-apologetically. "He tried to call me when I had smelled the cougar, so I threw it away."

It was obvious from the look on his face that he wasn't impressed with her way of handling things, but he referred from voicing his thoughts and just went on. "We need to find it and then we'll make a few phone calls."

"Why?"

"Do you trust me?"

The question hung in the air, making both of them visibly uncomfortable. At the moment Maddie didn't know if she trusted him, or anyone else for that matter, and she wasn't sure if this was really the right time to ask her something like that.

"Um..."

He had gone against Carlisle's wishes and told her the truth, but still... "I'm not sure," she uttered apologetically.

Waving his hand, Jasper signalled to her that she shouldn't worry about it and that there was no need for her to feel bad.

"I promise you that you can get away from Carlisle and Esme without them chasing after you or the like, I'll help you with that, but you have to come with me and pretend that I've never told you anything."

Being constantly torn between feeling whiny and angry, she now felt like whining some more. "I don't wanna see them."

"It's just for a few minutes and then you can leave for as long as you wish without them being suspecting. Take the time to calm down and make up your mind whether you want to stay or leave."

"But...," she started to argue, then changed her mind and released a heavy sigh. "Jasper... I'm scared."

He leaned back a little, confused by her words. "Why?"

"If I muck up, he'll know what you've told me and I don't know what he'll do to you. He's already mad at you and I don't want to make it worse."

"Are you saying you're _scared_ for me?"

She bit her lip and looked away - Jasper seemed to have a hard time believing it, but she was being honest.

"Why?"

Hesitating for a moment, she then drew a deep breath and explained. "You are in trouble because of _me_, and if I say something wrong, he'll hurt you... I mean, _really_ hurt you, and it would be _my_ fault."

It didn't fit the situation, but Jasper laughed all of a sudden. "I got myself in trouble," he explained to her, "and I know you can pretend like nothing has changed between you and Carlisle. If it doesn't work, well, that would be my problem and not yours. Don't be scared."

His words soothed her worries some, but they didn't manage to wash them away completely. She couldn't allow herself to mess up, as she already felt guilty enough for bringing Carlisle's ire upon her brother. Sure, it wasn't her who had yelled at Carlisle and disobeyed him, but hearing what exactly Jasper had found out made her feel obliged to keep this secret a secret. Jasper shouldn't get beaten for telling her something that was her right to know, and if she'd stay, she wanted to learn how to fight and be less of a burden.

"I always thought you are against lying," Maddie commented.

"I am, but keeping the knowledge of self-defence from you and therefore endangering all of us is by far a greater injustice than just pretending to have followed his orders. And all you have to do is act natural around him, like nothing has changed."

Her stomach churned as a sense of fear crept upon her again at hearing what she'd have to do in just a little while. "How?"

"You know how, it's just like pretending to be human while amongst humans." When she just looked at him, scared and unsure, he gave her a different advice that he must have figured would be easier for her to follow. "Fool him as a way of getting back at him."

That made her freeze for a second as she thought about it, before she slowly started to nod her head. _Getting back at him..._ she liked the idea of revenge, but actually didn't think that pretending to like him would be a fit measure to let him feel what she thought of his lying ass.

"I'll try."

A sense of calm washed over her, and Maddie wasn't sure if it was Jasper's doing or just her own determination not to fail him that brought this sensation. Nevertheless, it eased her worries and made her feel better.

"Hey... will you really show me how to fight?"

She could see him nod and even thought that he was smiling a little when he replied, "Yes, I will. But first, let's find your mobile and arrange a few things."

He pulled his own phone from his pocket and dialled her number, hoping that that way they'd be able to find it quicker.

* * *

**And that's chapter 13. It's longer than I thought it would be, but I hope you don't mind :-P **

**Now... I have to admit that I'm not sure how to continue. Initially I wasn't planning to write the impending talk between Carlisle and Jasper, but a few of you have already told me that they'd like to read it and so I decided that if I'd write it, I'd make it an Outtake, because I thought it wouldn't fit into this story. While writing this chapter, I realised that it would actually fit in quite nicely... and it would add a few more chapters to this story. **

**And that's where you guys come into play ;) Talk in Carlisle's study - yay or nay? **

**Let me know what you think and thanks for reading and leaving a review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Yep... I haven't given you a chapter in forever. Sorry! Time flies and life is busy. I need more time to write...**

* * *

It seemed like an eternity had passed when the two children finally broke through the tree line that framed the property and walked across the lawn towards the house. Carlisle's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched them, searching for any clues that would tell him what had happened between the two. He'd find out soon enough since they would be standing right in front of him in less than half a minute maybe - but still, it would be easier to talk to them if he knew what the kids were feeling at the moment and what exactly would await him.

Up until now he had been pins and needles, nervous and agitated, and even though they were finally back again and obviously very much alive and well, his nervousness peaked.

There wasn't much in this world nowadays that would really make him nervous anymore - but today his children had definitely done it.

He hoped dearly that Jasper hadn't actually hurt her in any way, and he wondered if the boy had minded his warning and had kept his mouth shut. He shouldn't tell Maddie anything that wasn't for him to tell - some things are just a little bit more complicated than they seem at first, and while it was beautiful to see that Jasper was worried about his little sister and the safety of the coven, he couldn't just go off and do what _he_ thought was right. As the leader of this coven, Carlisle was carrying a lot of responsibility, and he always weighed his options and spend a lot of time mulling things over before he made a decision. Jasper couldn't just ignore his authority and refuse to listen to his reasoning that drove him to make the decisions he had made concerning her.

If the boy had disobeyed him, then he had effectively brought a great danger upon the child and managed to achieve the exact opposite of what he had intended to do.

But Carlisle released a sigh of relief when he noticed that his daughter looked more or less at ease. She smirked when Jasper said something to her, then ran a hand through her tangled hair. Jasper plucked a little twig out of her brown mane and held it in front of her face for her to see. Shrugging her shoulders, she playfully slapped it out of his hand before she lifted her head and looked straight ahead.

Her facial expression as well as her eye colour changed when her eyes met her father's, and she quickly dropped her gaze again while she slowed a little. If he was pushing or guiding her, Carlisle wasn't sure, but Jasper's hand on the girl's back quickly made her pick up her pace again and ascend the porch stairs with him.

Carlisle held his breath.

_What did the boy tell her?_

It wasn't surprising that Carlisle didn't like not knowing what would await him as soon as his children would step into the house, and he didn't like the thought of his son ignoring a direct order and disturbing the girl with false facts that would only serve to confuse and scare her.

Barely a year ago she had thought she wasn't wanted, and now hearing that they would purposely endanger her by not teaching her anything about this life would be yet another deep tear to her young soul and the band of trust that had formed between them.

Shaking his head to rid himself of these unpleasant thoughts, the coven leader managed to put on a little smile in time as they reached the house.

Carlisle hastened over to them just as the porch door opened.

"There you are," he said, trying to sound casual and happy, like he hadn't spent the entire time of their absence worrying, and his lips stretched even further into a warm and welcoming smile. In a fatherly manner he made to put a hand on his daughter's shoulder when she was close enough, but a hiss escaped her just before his fingers would have touched her. Maddie quickly leaned away from his hand and stepped to the side, all of a sudden glowering at him through darkened eyes like he was the devil himself.

She was angry... and it was directed at him.

Jasper shot her a disapproving look which she seemed to notice, because she immediately took a breath like she was trying to get a grip on herself and calm down, before she hung her head.

_Oh, so now she was evading her father's gaze..._

And just as Carlisle wanted to address Jasper, he was hit by the sweet smell of venom.

Instantly the father snapped into doctor mode and he scanned his children from head to toe with a trained look to find the injury and tend to it.

"Who's hurt?" he asked and looked in between them when he failed to detect the obviously fresh wound. Weirdly enough, he had the feeling that it was both his and her venom that he was smelling.

When nobody reacted to his question, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. "I want to see it," he demanded, his voice filled with authority.

The two exchanged a quick look, but apart from that, nothing happened.

Not even a second passed and Carlisle already grew impatient. "_Now._"

More than just a little begrudgingly, Jasper slowly revealed his hand that he had kept firmly tucked away in his trouser pocket, and the distinct smell of his venom grew stronger, now with the wound out in the open.

The crescent shaped tear was glistening in the light of the ceiling light, and little black and brown pieces of lint and dirt decorated the entire injury.

While it was relatively deep, Carlisle could also see that it wasn't very big otherwise. But size didn't always matter, and the grime and the foreign venom in the bite wound would hurt regardless.

Clearing his throat, Carlisle turned his head to look at his youngest, who seemed to have taken a sudden liking in chewing on her bottom lip and looking out of the window into the night.

"Are you hurt?"

Jasper answered that question.

"No, she's not."

Now it was hard to smell anything but Jasper's venom, and Carlisle figured he must have been wrong then. Still, he wanted to know why his boy had been bitten. "What happened in the woods?" he asked Maddie, whose only reaction to that question was to swallow hard - she didn't even turn her head to look at her father.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room as the coven leader was waiting for an answer, but Jasper must have figured she wouldn't reply to that question anytime soon, because he suddenly cleared his throat and started to explain.

"I was-"

Holding up a hand to quiet him, Carlisle shook his head and said, "No, I want to hear it from her."

Maddie glanced at her brother, like he was the one talking to her, then glared down at her father's shoes. "I bit him," she practically hissed, her voice oddly aggressive sounding despite the situation.

With a deep breath, Carlisle drew himself up to his full height and stared down at his daughter, folding his arms across his chest as he did so. She wasn't looking at him directly, but she'd still see it out of the corner of her eye.

"Carlisle, I am to blame for this," Jasper quickly threw in. "I wasn't being careful... she was feeding when I found her, I approached her from behind and put a hand on her shoulder. She didn't do it on purpose, it was my mistake."

"Jasper," Esme chided as she suddenly entered the room, her brow furrowed in displeasure. "You should know better than to disturb someone while feeding."

The boy clasped his hands behind his back, wincing slightly when his thumb grazed the bite wound, and respectfully hung his head. "I'm sorry, Ma'am, it won't happen again."

"My poor girl," Esme hushed and ran a hand over her daughter's dark hair, who seemed to tense under her mother's soft, loving touch. "it's not your fault. Accidents happen."

Jasper's explanation was very believable, but there was a tiny little detail that didn't quite add up...

"You don't look very well fed, Maddie," Carlisle remarked as he scanned her with the well-trained eye of a doctor and a father. She looked even paler than before she had left the house, not even the slightest trace of pink was flushing her cheeks or colouring her lips. However, the front of her shirt, her sleeves and even her chin and jaw line were showing traces of dried blood. While it smelled slightly off, he could tell that she must have caught a cougar. _Did she just kill it without drinking any of it?_

"Like I said, I distracted her and her catch died too quickly. She refused to feed off a dead animal," he let his parents know, then added with a sigh, "What a waste..."

_Why did he do all the talking for her?_ If it was a consequence of their bonding, then he'd gladly accept it, but Carlisle's gut feeling told him something different altogether.

"I am glad you're back. Jasper? Go upstairs and hold your hand under running water to wash the grime out, then go to my office. We'll tend to your wound and then you and I are going to continue our conversation."

"I don't think-," he tried to say while shaking his head, but Carlisle had had quite enough of his boy's disobedience for this day.

"Jasper," Carlisle said in a warning tone and put his hands on his hips, "go upstairs."

To make sure he would comply, Carlisle fixed him with a stern look and let him feel that he was insisting on obedience.

A faint feeling of defeat enveloped the head of the family, and he knew that his son had understood and would comply.

"Yes, Sir," the soldier replied timidly and gave his sister one last sympathetic glance before he left the room and mounted the stairs.

On the upper floor the door to the bathroom creaked open and they heard water running through the pipes.

_Time to continue._

With his son out of earshot, Carlisle turned towards Maddie.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"Carlisle...," his wife immediately pleaded with him and pulled her daughter to her side, rubbing a hand up and down her dainty shoulder. She wanted him to drop the subject, to give the girl a moment to breathe, but ignoring his calls was something he wouldn't tolerate from anyone. Maddie knew that - he knew that she knew, everyone in the family did, and now he was waiting for her to give him a damn good explanation for her behaviour.

"I'd like to know, Esme," he replied with one raised eyebrow, before turning his attention back to his daughter who looked like she couldn't decide what made her more uncomfortable at the moment - his presence and his questions or her mother's loving touch.

"So?" he prompted when the girl didn't answer.

She must have decided that she didn't need or want her mother's support, because she pulled away from her and stood by the door through which she had entered the house just a minute ago. "I was talking to Jasper, and then I had to make a few calls myself."

"Who did you call?"

It was quiet for a moment as she obviously contemplated whether to tell him or not, but eventually she released a sigh. "Tanya and Rose."

"Tanya?"

A curt nod. "She'll meet us half way."

_Half way?_ "Maddie, what are you talking about?"

"I don't wanna stay here," she stated.

Esme seemed unable to breathe, but before she would say something, Carlisle raised his hand to stop her. He knew that she'd protest, and that would keep the girl from explaining further.

"Why?"

"I don't like it here."

Carlisle tensed, then took in a deep breath to keep his voice calm as he eyed her and queried, "What did Jasper tell you?"

"Huh?" Her forehead wrinkled ever so slightly and she finally lifted her head to look him in the eye. "Nothing."

_From angry to distant to clueless..._

"Did he say something to you?" the coven leader questioned further, glad that she kept eye contact this time. It was the easiest way to read someone, to see what kind of emotions his questions would evoke.

He needed to know if she really had no idea what he was talking about, or if she was scared, angry or dismissive. Was she telling the truth, or lying to him?

He needed to know.

"Like what? What do you mean?" she queried, blinking her eyes in confusion. "He told me I shouldn't run and that he came to take me back home."

That was what he had wanted Jasper to say to her, still, he needed to know for sure. "Anything else?"

She swallowed heavily. "That he didn't mean what he said...," she mumbled and dropped her eyes again to gaze at the floor.

Esme followed that motion and distorted her face at seeing the dirt crusted pants and feet of the girl.

Carlisle shook his head at her, telling her that way not to make the dirt the next subject matter. They had more urgent things to take care off.

His daughter looked forlorn and close to crying. Jasper's words must have shocked and hurt her, but judging by the way they had interacted in the backyard, he was sure that she had forgiven him. It might still take a little while until she would stop thinking about what her brother had said, but at least she knew that it was just a mistake and not the truth.

"Is that why you want to leave? Because of what you heard?"

"No," she replied and shook her head while still not looking up at him, "he said he was just mad and that he said things without thinking. I just wanna go back to Alaska because I don't like it here."

Good, she had no idea, and he was not going to ask anything specific and make her suspecting.

Before he could ask her to sit down with them and explain what exactly made her want to leave this place, his wife stepped forward and huffed.

"You are not going anywhere," she stated and encircled her forearm like she feared the girl would otherwise take off right this second.

Maddie turned her head and stared down at her arm, then right at her mother, shock shining in her big, dark eyes. "Wh-"

Esme's eyes narrowed. "You will stay right here, with us."

"But-"

"You will stay right by my side," Esme emphasised and pulled the confused girl closer to herself, "I've had enough of all this trouble for one day."

"No!" their daughter retorted and wrenched her arm out of Esme's grip, then moved away from her mother while shooting her an angry glare.

"Go to your room," was Carlisle's immediate order as his hands found their way to his hips.

Now the girl gasped and looked in between them like she thought they had both lost their minds. "What did_ I_ do?!" she shouted. "That's not fair!"

"Ssh, it's not a punishment," he tried to calm her and held his hands up in a soothing manner. "I'd just like to talk to your mother in private."

It took her a moment to realise that she hadn't heard wrong and that he was truly not sending her upstairs because she had just been insolent with them.

Maddie gave a nod. "I'll pack my bags...," she let them know before she darted from the room and ran upstairs.

"N-," Esme tried to call after her to make her stop, but Carlisle interrupted her.

"Esme, love, let's talk."

He gently took his wife's hand in his and led her over to the couch. They sat down together, and Carlisle scooted closer to her, then turned a little in his seat to be able to look her in the face while speaking to her.

"Carlisle, one of my boys is already God knows where and we cannot contact him, I'm not going to watch my daughter turn her back on us as well." The words left Esme's lips in a rush, and Carlisle took both her hands in his and gently ran his thumbs over her knuckles.

"You'll know exactly where she is, you know who is with her and you know that she'll be fine."

"Does that mean that you support this harebrained idea?" she almost shrieked and pulled her hands from his, throwing them in the air in the process to show just how horrified she was. "What is happening?!"

A sigh escaped him as he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't enjoy changes like this, please believe me," he tried to explain, "but I'm starting to think that this move and Edward leaving was a little too much at a time for her. She just needs a break, go somewhere where she's feeling comfortable and at home – it's obvious that right now we cannot provide her with that."

His words, although spoken in a calm and collected manner, did not serve to soothe his wife's worries. In fact, they seem to have made it worse.

"_Are you implying that I don't care for my children?!_"

Esme was getting too emotional - she was feeling offended by something he hadn't said or even implied. Like a lion she was fighting to protect her cub, even though there was no danger coming from the girl's wish to visit a place she missed. Forcing her to stay in a place that made her unhappy was a lot worse. "Good God, no. Love, you are doing everything you can, but still – a lot has changed. We never stopped to think that she isn't used to us moving and that maybe it confuses and scares her. Everything is still unchanged up in Denali, it'll do her good."

"And who's going to leave next? Emmy? My little Alice?"

"Esme, you miss Edward, but she does too. Having him leave and now being in this new place... let's give her the time she needs to understand that that's what it's going to be. The next move will be a lot easier on her, but this was just a little bit too sudden it seems."

He must have finally gotten through to her, because his wife's shoulders slumped and the fierce look on her face changed. Now she was letting him see what had been the reason behind her sudden outbreak - sadness and fear. Fear of losing someone or something - the same fear their daughter was experiencing ever since they had left Forks.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "For how long will she be staying in Alaska?"

"I don't know," he returned and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe she'll just need a week or two, and then she'll miss us just the same and come back. Let's give her some time..."

Esme bit her lip, shaking her head as she did so. "But I don't like it."

"Me neither," he admitted and leaned back into the cushions. "I'd prefer to have everyone here with us, but this is all new to her and if staying with Tanya and the others is helping her, then so be it. I trust them to take good care of her."

Esme nodded her head like she was agreeing with him, then suddenly scooted closer to him until their knees touched and grabbed his hands, giving him her most pleading look. "Carlisle... please, you cannot possibly just agree to this idea without even giving it a little bit more thought. We'll just ask her to tell us what's bothering her, and then together we can take care of it. Like a family."

"All right...," he mumbled and closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them again, Esme was still looking at him with big eyes, and he felt a little bad for what he was going to say next. "Esme, I normally would have more doubts about this, but after this day and what Jasper had said, I think it's a good idea that she'll spend a few days away from home. There is no need for Maddie to see or hear things that would only serve to confuse her even more."

"She just needs to get acquainted with everything," she stated almost stubbornly, making him shake his head.

"If we don't let her go, then I can guarantee you that Rose and Em will take her somewhere and then you won't be able to see any of them for a while. It has happened before."

Esme's eyes widened even more. To her that thought was horrible... Having one child away from home was already pure torture for her, having four of them gone would drive her insane.

"Is that what it's going to be from now on?" she whispered. "Our family is falling apart and we have no choice but to watch it happen?"

"Edward left before, and he came back. The same goes for Em and Rose, and Maddie also returned. Have faith in our children, they will always come back. They know that they have nothing to fear and can count on us, no matter what. Right now, we have to do what's right for her. I really think she needs a break."

Esme was still not giving up. "Let's wait a couple of days and see what happens," she suggested, her mind already racing with ideas of how she could help her girl feel more at home.

"Esme, she made Jasper unable to smell humans because she feared we'd move yet again and even more things would change. Maybe she was scared Jasper would be the next to leave, then it would be Alice following him... seeing that everything is still the same up in Denali will reassure her and give her a sense of security."

His words sunk in.

"And... Rose and Emmett will take her part of the way until they meet Tanya?" she queried slowly after a few moments of silence. "She's not going to be alone, is she?"

"We can call them and tell them that that's how we want it to be or make the needed arrangements, but yes, that's what she said. She's not going to be alone."

"... do you think we can take her?"

Carlisle rubbed a hand across his forehead and released a breath. "I'm sure you can join them, but I'd prefer to stay here and take care of Jasper's injury first, then talk to him. It cannot wait, love."

Esme's hands were visibly shaking, and she folded them in her lap to get it under control. "But I will call her every day, until she's back here with us."

He gave her a little smile. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"When do you think...?"

"I believe Rosalie and Emmett will be here shortly," he said, knowing what she wanted to know. "Maddie is upstairs packing up."

"They just made this decision without us..."

He softly ran the back of his hand over her cheek at hearing how sad that thought made her. "I believe they knew we wouldn't say No. Of course it would have been favourable to be asked first, but I don't see why we shouldn't let Maddie visit Denali. They are just as much her family as we are. Besides, right now she doesn't have any responsibilities like school or the like... let us not stand in her way."

* * *

Maddie was throwing a few things into her duffel bag, just grabbing whatever was nearby without really thinking about whether she'd need it or want to bring it. She still had her room in Denali, with all kinds of clothes, books, CDs and whatever else could be found in the bedroom of an average teen.

This was so weird... she had more things up there than in this place, because she had to leave most of her stuff behind. Esme had packed for her, but must have suddenly forgotten what she liked and what she couldn't be without.

It was also weird that she was feeling more at home at Tanya's than here in this place.

With a groan, she let her bag drop to the floor and kicked it in the direction of the door.

Whatever she had thrown in there was of absolutely no value to her. She could just leave like that, no luggage, no baggage, no reminder of this place or _them_.

So instead of continuing to look for worthless crap to put into her bag, she went over to her window to peek out into the night. However, all she could see was her dirty reflection.

Rose wouldn't allow her into the car as long as she would look like _that_ and Maddie didn't want to lose any time. Turning around on her heel, she headed for her closet to grab something clean that she could change into. Her fingers hovered over a stack of T-Shirts, but then she just reached behind it and got something different to wear. Her dirty things landed on her bed and she got changed. Then she unrolled a pair of fresh socks that she pulled over her dirty feet before she straightened up again and looked down on herself.

Now she was good to go.

Maddie took a second to decide what's next, but then just grabbed the almost empty bag and left her room.

Carlisle's office was located on the same floor, and just as she passed that room, she heard her brother jump up from the chair in front of the big desk and hurry after her.

"Maddie, hey," he fiercely whispered to catch her attention, and she stopped and turned around.

"They'll be here any second," she replied, sounding a little breathless like she was scared she'd miss them. It was a silly thought, but she just wanted to get away from here.

"I just wanted to-," he started to say, then sighed and closed the distance between them. Putting his hands on her shoulders, he bent down a little to be on the same eye level with her. "Calm yourself, okay? You are still too tense and angry."

The handles of the duffel bag slipped from her fingers and it fell onto the hardwood floor with a soft thud. "I'm trying! Jasper, I cannot stand being near him right now, it's too hard. I-"

"A few more minutes, you can do that. You've done good so far."

She frantically shook her head."I swear I cannot do it again. I'll just wait up here, maybe I-" "No."

"It's safer," she argued, but he wouldn't have any of it.

"No, it's not. You will wait downstairs," he said and removed one hand from her shoulder to hold his index finger in front of her face in order to help her remember. "Our best cover is to make them think you're okay with them."

When she just started to slowly shake her head this time, he removed his hands and straightened up to tower over her. "Do it, or I'll make you-" "_Jasper!_"

Maddie gasped and spun around, while the soldier went rigid. Both of them stared at Carlisle standing by the stairs - the man's face was absolutely unreadable. Taking a step back, Maddie bumped into her brother, who put a hand on her shoulder to steady her. He didn't realise it, but his fingernails were digging into the skin of her shoulder and her face distorted in pain. She tried to squirm away from his touch, and Carlisle's eyes instantly darkened.

"Let go of her, boy."

Maddie stopped squirming, but Jasper did not remove his hand just yet.

With a quiet growl, Carlisle suddenly marched over to them, his jaw set, and just before he could draw himself up in front of his son, Maddie took a step towards him.

"Don't!"

The look on Carlisle's face changed from determined and agitated to slightly confused as the girl had just _yelled_ at him. But the coven leader wasn't sure if he'd just heard wrong, because her anger was completely gone a second later and instead she sounded afraid and so very small.

"Please... just don't," she pleaded, then dropped her gaze and swallowed heavily like she was just about to cry.

His features softened instantly. "Why don't you wait downstairs, hm? Don't worry, everything's fine," he said to reassure her, and she looked up in time to see that he was about to place a hand on her head.

Quickly bending away from him to evade the gesture, she just nodded her head and hurried away from him, only stopping when she reached the stairs.

She looked back at them like she was unsure what to do, but Carlisle was quick to attempt to calm her nerves.

"Go on, sweetheart, no need to be worried."

When she just remained where she was, Jasper cleared his throat. "Go," he said.

* * *

Downstairs, Maddie sat in one of the armchairs, her elbow resting on the armrest and her chin propped up on her hand. She preferred to look down at her lap instead of keeping eye contact with her overly nervous mother.

Esme was constantly wiping strands of hair out of her face, then folding her hands in her lap, before she repeated these motions again and again.

Maddie felt like she was going insane in her presence.

"And what if..." Esme started to say, then stopped when Maddie just shook her head.

Rose and Em were still not home, and Maddie was getting frustrated with herself. She was sitting here, with one liar sitting just five feet from her, and the other one upstairs, threatening her brother.

She was only seconds away from freedom, a few minutes at most, and then a new life would begin. But until that would happen, she needed to keep calm and pretend that everything was _fine_, just like Carlisle had just tried to make her believe.

Nothing was fine, but it just wasn't possible to tell him that they knew he was only using them. The rest of them wanted to stay, so Maddie couldn't tell him now what she thought of his deceitful manners. It was their decision whether they wanted to stay or not, and she wouldn't force this decision onto her siblings.

It wasn't her business anymore the moment she would step out of this house and leave them forever. Everyone she knew in this world was older than her, so they should be able to make their own decisions, just like she was able to make hers.

When Carlisle suddenly came down the stairs and entered the room, Maddie held her breath. It wasn't just because his presence was making her nervous and she was scared of acting wrong around him, but also because she didn't want to smell him.

Usually the scent of home was comforting, but she really didn't want to risk losing it. His scent might set her off, especially now after he had possibly hurt Jasper just for talking to her.

"Well," he said as he sat down next to Esme and crossed his legs, "let's talk some before Rose and Emmett will get here."

Maddie refused to react to that, and just continued to stare at the carpet instead of lifting her gaze to actually look into his stupid, lying face.

"Going to Denali is a good idea, Maddie," he went on, making it sound like he was praising her. "You'll send them our greetings, won't you?"

"Hm-hm."

"I'm sure you'll catch a bear on your first hunt."

He must have expected her to answer to that, but when she didn't, he heaved a quiet sigh.

"Maddie, I know you're a little confused right now, but things will change again. Nobody is mad at you for trying to help Jasper, and Edward is going to come back in a while. I cannot tell you just when, but rest assured that everything will turn out fine again in the end. It always does."

Maddie moved her head when she heard the crunching of gravel, and she shot up from the armchair like a scalded cat. "I left my bag upstairs," she mumbled without even glancing at her parents, then ran from the room.

Carlisle squeezed his wife's hand while they listened to their daughter head up the stairs to collect her luggage, before she stormed back down.

Just when Esme and Carlisle made to get up to properly say Goodbye to the girl by the door, they heard her mutter a quick 'Bye' before the front door was opened and immediately slammed shut again.

* * *

**Thank you sooo much for your reviews and PMs, guys! Your support means a lot and I swear I haven't forgotten about my stories, even though it's been a while... a very long while... AND I haven't forgotten about you! I'll try harder to fit writing into my schedule, the next chapter is already in the making, Em is helping me a lot with that.**

**Stay tuned and THANK YOU!**


	15. Chapter 15

"Carlisle...," Esme started to say before her breathing got heavier. "Carlisle?"

"Don't worry, she's just excited," he quickly told her and reached out to touch her arm.

Esme pulled away and hastened for the foyer to go after her children. "I know excitement, darling, and that's not what I've just seen." Anger overshadowed her actual fear at the moment. Her muscles were tensing under her knit jacket, like she was actively trying to convince herself that she was really just mad and nothing else.

Carlisle stepped to the side to stand in her way. Admittedly, that was a little dangerous as Esme was a lioness not to mess with when it came to her cubs, but he needed for her to listen to reason. "She's confused, she cannot accept this new place as her home and just wants to-"

"Wants to get away from us," the woman finished her husband's sentence for him, making him vehemently shake his head.

"No, no, no. That's not true."

Too bad she wasn't fooled and his reply wasn't all that convincing.

"My daughter just_ ran_ from the house and didn't even stop for one second to properly say Goodbye to us," she retorted, sounding like she couldn't believe it herself. "What would you call that kind of behaviour?"

The question hung in the air, and the coven leader was quiet for a second too long.

"Huh?" she prompted.

"Fine," he gave in and released a sigh, "maybe she is a little angry with us... in fact, she's furious. She blames us for the move and for choosing a place she doesn't like. Everything's fine, it's just a little... tantrum."

Downplaying the situation wasn't working like the man would have hoped. His wife felt betrayed, like someone was slowly taking whatever she had from her, and she couldn't see the end of it. Naturally that scared her, but she just needed to have faith that eventually everything would turn out fine again.

"It feels different... this feels too familiar..."

Carlisle knew immediately what she was remembering. It was even the exact same constellation.

"I can see the parallels too, but please don't think too much of it. She needs a break - no more, no less. This is not the same situation, but it might have led to it if we hadn't let her go now."

"No, this feels different, Carlisle..."

"Who wants to go hunting? I would love to try out my new running shoes. Oh, I got you a new pair, too, Mom!"

_Phew._

Carlisle couldn't have hoped for a better timing. Alice, the overly bubbly seer, had just appeared at the bottom of the stairs and was looking up at them, beaming with excitement.

"That's a marvellous idea, Alice. A long run and some blood sounds great, doesn't it, love?" he asked enthusiastically, however Esme didn't seem interested in getting distracted by anyone - no, she had more important things to do.

"You know what? I'll go after them and bring them back home, _that's_ what I'm going to do," she announced, her eyes slightly narrowed and shining bright with determination.

Alice cringed - she must have seen more of Esme's plans than the woman had just shared with them.

"They don't deserve that, Mom, they haven't done anything wrong."

The brunette whipped her head around and focussed her attention on the little seer. "Are you trying to tell me what to do, missy?"

Taking a step back, Alice quickly shook her head and covered the seat of her pants.

"Esme, love, calm down and be reasonable," the doctor interjected before his wife would lose it. Poor Alice was the last person who would want to provoke her mother in a situation like this. "If Maddie wants to spend a couple of days with her aunts, we should let her. And be glad that Em and Rose are taking her, they'll watch her and make sure she doesn't get lost."

The atmosphere in the room changed then as Esme stood there looking at her husband, then sighed and shook her head. "But I'm not glad... well, not as much as I should be." It came out almost apologetically.

Seeing that now it was safe to speak again, the pixie took a hesitant step towards her mother and said in a soft voice, "Mama, come, I know exactly what you need. You'll feel so much better. Please."

It was awfully quiet in the house for a minute and it seemed like her mother hadn't even heard her. "Something's wrong here," Esme whispered with narrowed eyes, a cleft forming between her eyebrows when she went over the happenings of the day in her mind again.

"I don't want to run on my own, Mom," Alice uttered, her voice a little louder now and sounding really sweet albeit a little whiny. "Come with me... please?"

Carlisle was so proud, he had to try his hardest not to start smiling like an always happy Emmett.

_Could she say no to a begging child? Alice - his brilliant, bright little girl._

"Allie, I-," the woman replied, obviously unsure of what to do. Should she go after her kids or spend time with Alice when she begged her and had something planned for them?

"I'm thirsty, Mama." Alice now stated and bit her lip to look extra miserable while her face scrunched up a little like she had tried so hard to endure the pain but was unable to take it any longer. "It hurts."

_There we go. Good girl._

Visibly Esme's shoulders sagged. "Of course."

"I put your sneakers by the door so we can leave immediately."

Her mother nodded, then went to the foyer to get ready for a hunt with her little daughter.

The dark-haired pixie grinned like Christmas had come early, then stepped up to her father and got on her tiptoes.

"You owe me," she whispered into his ear before she wanted to turn around and leave the room to follow after her mother.

Carlisle quickly encircled her upper arm and stopped her from taking off too soon.

"You better be thankful I don't put you across my knee for lying to your mother," he retorted in a mock stern tone, holding a raised finger in front of his daughter's face.

The petite girl smirked up at him. "I can always take it back."

"Don't you dare!"

Her smirk just got more prominent.

"Off you go, sweetheart, have fun."

She turned around and took a few steps, before she looked back at him, the smirk now gone. "Go easy on Jasper, this was not what he had intended. Not too easy though, because he - oh, you'll see."

With a frown on his face, Carlisle tried to decipher what his daughter was hinting at. He knew what would await him upstairs and knew that Jasper knew, but still, Alice could see things they couldn't. She was often confusing them more than actually preparing them for future events.

"Your mother is waiting," he said with the tiniest of smiles and nodded his head in the direction of the foyer.

* * *

Maddie ran from the house like someone was chasing after her, and she threw her duffel bag onto the back seat of Em's car before she jumped in as well.

"Go!" she yelled at him while Rose shut the car door for her, then climbed onto the passenger seat, all the while shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" she queried in an confused tone of voice but instead of answering, her sister hectically motioned down the driveway.

"What are you waiting for?!" she almost screeched. "Just go!"

Not having to be told twice, Emmett stomped down on the gas pedal and with squeaking tires they sped from the driveway.

"Oopsie," he mumbled while distorting his face and glanced into the rear view mirror, "I hope that didn't leave any rubber marks."

Rose sighed and buckled up, then glanced over her shoulder. "Fasten your seatbelt, Maddie."

The girl had actually calmed down some now that she was on her way away from that place, but nevertheless she seemed annoyed with her sister's request. "It's in the middle of the night," she replied, giving her a funny look when the blonde turned in her seat and looked at her.

"Just put it on, please."

"Who cares?!" it suddenly burst from the petite girl and she threw her hands in the air before crossing her arms tightly over her chest and scooting down in her seat. "If we get pulled over, I'll make the officer shoot himself."

Em's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Um... okay... a little bit extreme, but everything's better than getting caught, I guess."

Rose slapped the back of her hand against his shoulder. "Don't say that," she hissed at him, then addressed her sister again. "Maddie, stop it."

"You stop it."

The tall blonde just cleared her throat. Nope, she didn't have a lump in her throat or anything, it was just a simple warning.

To save herself the discussion with Rose, because Rose would start a discussion and it would only be over when she'd won, she reached over her shoulder and grabbed the hated safety device. They were only buckling up because Carlisle wanted them to – it was so ridiculous that they were allowing him to set so many rules that were only put in place to give _him_ the life he wanted for himself... a fake human life.

And what a human he was – a successful and highly skilled doctor, ridiculously good looking, young and father of six adopted adolescents.

He was practically a saint.

If these idiot humans would only know what a deceitful and disgusting piece of dirt he truly was...

And now they were still playing their roles by doing what he had taught them.

Maddie scoffed out of anger. Except for her and Jasper, this entire coven was completely indoctrinated and brainwashed. It disgusted her.

"Putting on a seatbelt doesn't make any sense. It won't protect us in a car accident, because we wouldn't be harmed anyways," was her clever reply.

"It protects the car, or do you want to destroy Emmett's Jeep if he has to come to a sudden stop?"

The bear-obsessed adolescent let out a tiny whimper. "Please don't destroy my car."

"That wouldn't happen," she argued from the back seat, "and besides, we can still put our seatbelts on in case we really need them. We're quick, you know."

"Does it bother you that much?" Rose asked in an exasperated voice.

"Yes."

"You've been wearing these all your life."

And all her life she had to follow stupid rules and do what someone else wanted her to do... but this would stop soon. She was sick of it.

"We're out of town, do you want me to stop somewhere so we can share the loot?" Emmett cut right through his little sister's musings, and she startled.

"Huh?"

The boy seemed confused by her reaction. "I-I thought we were playing robbery," he slightly stammered in confusion, his eyes darting in between his wife and the rear view mirror, in which he could see his baby sister.

A groan came from Rosalie and she put her elbow on the window frame to lean her cheek into her cupped hand while she gazed out of the side window. "Keep going, Em, I don't want to make Tanya wait just because you two decided it's the right time to play a stupid game."

He snorted. "What's stupid about playing games, babe?"

She turned her head to face him. "Nothing, Em," came out with a sigh, "it's just disrespectful to make someone wait."

"It's disrespectful to turn down a game," he corrected her. "We're playing a game, right, Tiny?"

_What?_ "... sure. We'll share later." He could have a sock from her bag or something...

"Cool, and-" "Em...," Rose groaned.

"Okay, fine... how about some music?"

The girls nodded their heads, and so Emmett turned on the radio.

Maddie welcomed the little distraction because that way they wouldn't have to talk. What if she said the wrong thing and they would grow suspicious? She wasn't sure if they could deal with the fact that their entire existences were based on lies, and she wasn't sure what Carlisle would do if he'd knew that they'd found out about his true motives.

_Jasper was still at the house with Carlisle..._

She gulped.

It was so very important to keep this a secret, for him.

"You'll be back in a couple of days, am I right?" Rosalie queried after they've been driving for what felt like a couple of hours.

Maddie peeled her eyes from the window and looked at her sister, giving a shrug. "I don't know... why?"

"That bag looks awfully empty," she explained and pointed at the scrunched up duffel bag on the rear seat next to her sister. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home?"

The girl's eyes darkened instantly, just like her voice. "That place is not my home and I'm going to Alaska."

"Oh Maddie, moving is just-" "Rose, please... I don't wanna hear it anymore."

Rosalie nodded like she was understanding that the constant repetitions were not serving their purpose of reassuring her, but actually had the opposite effect. "Alaska will do you good," she said instead.

Maddie turned her head and looked out of the window again.

Alaska hadn't done her good a few years ago, it had been her death and her doom. She had never been able to figure out whether the memories of the end of her human life or the beginning of her eternal life were more painful. But it actually wasn't the state she was heading for, her feelings about it were too divergent,... she wanted to go back to her family.

Their 'relatives' in Denali were genuinely good at heart and she missed spending time with them. The difference between them and Carlisle was, that they had volunteered to take her in. They didn't do it for themselves, but for her. For Carlisle she was just a part of his collection.

"Yes," she mumbled in response.

Getting far away from him would do her good - it would do anyone good.

More time passed, the only sounds in the car were the radio and Emmett's horrible singing, accompanied by his finger drumming on the steering wheel.

"Rose," Maddie asked when it had turned quiet in the car after another while because Rose had had enough of the noise. She promised her mate something that she'd do for him later, but neither of them would go into detail. So it wasn't all that hard to guess for Maddie, these two were freakin' Energizer Bunnies. "... why did Carlisle change you?"

Maddie knew she shouldn't ask these things as it could hint them in the right direction, but she felt like she needed to check what they knew.

The blonde frowned at the odd question. Well, it wasn't necessarily an odd question, but maybe the timing was off somehow. "He didn't want to watch me die," Rosalie replied eventually after she had been looking thoughtful for a moment.

"Yeah, but why?"

"For the same reason why he changed all of us," she explained eventually, and Maddie had the feeling that there was a touch of bitterness in her sister's voice. It was gone when Emmett placed a hand on her knee. "To give us a new chance."

_A new chance..._

"Does that answer your question?" she asked when Maddie just remained quiet.

"Uh-huh."

The girl felt relieved at hearing that. Rose had no idea why Carlisle had changed her, and she wasn't going to let her know that her life, as well as everyone else's life, was based on lies. Maybe at a later time, but for now Maddie couldn't let her anger show and tell her sister what she knew. Maybe Tanya could help her find the right words, so that the truth wouldn't be too painful for Rose.

The dark-haired girl didn't want her to suffer, because this would be even worse for her – she had been turned more than seventy years ago. That was a very long period of time, and realising that she only existed for Carlisle's story would be even worse for her than it was for Maddie. Three years was absolutely nothing compared to Rose's life.

"Drive faster," she suddenly urged her brother as they entered some small boring town that was only trying to slow them down with its stupid signs.

"Okay," he said and pressed his foot down hard on the gas pedal. He _loved_ fast driving.

Rose's eyes widened and she huffed. "We're about to pass a police station! Stick to the speed limit, Em."

Emmett shrugged and slowed down again. "Okay."

They eyed the police cars as they drove past, then watched them from the side view mirror in anticipation, but when no one was following them Rose relaxed again. "Why are you in such a rush? Are you thirsty?"

Emmett answered for his sister. "She wants bear... am I right, Mad? A big, fat Grizzly that puts up a fight when you try to kill it."

_Well, who wouldn't put up a fight before getting slaughtered?_

"… yeah, and I don't want Tanya to wait. She drives faster than you do, Em."

"No, she doesn't," the muscular boy snorted. "She drives like Jasper... slow, with her nose pressed against the windscreen." he said and mimicked them. "I think I'll get them one of those wood bead seat covers for Christmas... and glasses. You know, these small ones on a chain."

Now Rosalie gave a short laugh, obviously picturing them in her mind. "Would you sit next to him when he looks like that? Oh my God..."

A giggle built in Maddie's throat.

Emmett shook his head frantically, his eyes wide. "No way, nuh-uh. Sitting next to Edward in his 'car' is already embarrassing enough..."

Even though her mood had just lightened up and for a moment she had almost forgotten about Carlisle, Maddie all of a sudden grew quiet at the mention of her brother's name.

Edward had been gone for a while, and since he didn't answer anyone's calls, they didn't know where he was or if he was safe.

_He had turned his back on them, on Carlisle..._

It hit her just then.

_... that's why he didn't answer their calls._

He wasn't ignoring them – he was dead.

* * *

**I _know_... it's getting a little crazy in Maddie's head. But don't worry, I can still fix it in the next chapter! **

**Nah... let's see what Jasper and Carlisle are doing ;)**

**I hope you had a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends! 2015 has been quite the stressful year, so let's get excited for 2016****!**

**Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and see you guys in the next chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

* * *

Jasper was back in Carlisle's study, sitting on a chair in front of the desk and waiting for his coven leader to come back upstairs and tend to his wound, before making another part of his body sore.

This had been one hell of a day, lots of confusion, anger and pain. Maddie was about to leave and he wasn't sure if she'd come back anytime soon. It was up to her if she ever wanted to return or not, so Jasper didn't know what she'd choose. He only knew that with her not being around, the fact that she knew the truth would remain a secret.

He really hoped she'd learn some fighting and self-defence techniques up in Denali, so she'd be at least a little bit safer in this world. Who knew what the years would bring? He has known a time when there were actual wars with hundreds of newborns and older vampires who were ripping each other apart and leaving the ones that survived crippled for all eternity. Well, maybe not for all eternity, since the Volturi took care of these unfortunate beings.

So he had shocked the girl and maybe scared her, effectively driven her away from this coven.

He knew that his actions might seem cruel, but thinking back to what had taken place on this day, Jasper actually only regretted having been bitten by Maddie...

He chuckled before he felt a slight shudder run down his spine.

A few more minutes and Carlisle would be here.

The impending hiding he could understand, expected it even, but having someone tend to his wounds, especially when they were not worth mentioning, still confused him.

It was different when Alice was fussing over him, as she was his mate and had ways to distract him from the pain – but Carlisle? He was their leader, and he shouldn't waste what little time he had on a tiny bite wound that couldn't even get worse. Still, he knew from experience that Carlisle took everything – a ripped limb or just the tiniest scratch - as seriously as though it was life-threatening.

Honestly, it made him feel small and weak like a little boy – he didn't like that.

Sometimes he cursed himself for his temper and then acting out on it – he knew Carlisle, knew how he'd react, and still – he had yelled at him and practically forced him to react like he was going to. First batching him up, then setting his behind on fire. What a wonderful way to end a day like this.

And now all he had to do was wait. Wait for the inevitable...

Carlisle had made himself abundantly clear that he should stay in here and not leave the room again to 'threaten' his sister, and Jasper was determined to try his best.

The man's eyes had been pitch black, giving away just how unhappy he was with his behaviour on this day. And while Jasper accepted punishment for his disrespect, he was still sure that he had basically spoken nothing but the truth.

They were pawns in his chess game, always in danger of getting sacrificed for their king's safety... and the biggest danger posed their youngest.

Nothing was more dangerous than being unaware and unprepared, _nothing_.

It was dangerous for Maddie, and everyone surrounding her. Right now she was only useful to Carlisle's cover, but absolutely useless otherwise.

That girl could be so much more, her ability had more than enough potential to prove it. It would take a lot of education and training, but who knew, it might be worth it. Safe from humans, safe from their own kind. A gift like hers would have been worth millions during the territory wars back in the early eighteen hundreds... she could program newborns and leaders to kill each other, like ticking time bombs, she could make people switch sides or just make them unable to feel pain and keep on fighting... the possibilities would have been endless. An entire army wiped out in less than a minute...

Too bad Carlisle made sure to suppress her ability and her control over it as much as possible. Now she was no more than a regular _newborn_ \- minus the strength.

He snorted in anger.

_What a waste..._

His hand pulsated, his little finger and the ring finger feeling a little swollen. He didn't mind the pain, for it had shown him that the girl wasn't lost. Her instincts had taken over and she had reacted like she should, this was proof of it. Carlisle and his way of living hadn't managed to numb them completely.

Why was putting on a cover for the human world safer than knowing what was out there and how to protect oneself from it? Jasper and the rest of family were able to do both – they had enough experience with fitting in that it was only on rare occasions that they deemed it safer to move so that the humans wouldn't grow too suspicious and dig too deep, and they knew how to defend themselves from threats that their own kind were posing.

Hastened footsteps coming up the stairs pulled him from his thoughts and he went rigid for a second before he realised that they sounded too light and small.

This wasn't Carlisle.

Obviously Rose and Emmett were here to pick Maddie up and take her away from this house. Right now this was clearly the best for her. Now she was curious about self defence and fighting, about their kind and the danger that was surrounding them... she'd ask their relatives to train and teach her. This knowledge would give her the full picture, show her who and what she was, what she was capable of and what made them so different. She'd maybe learn to master her ability and trust it enough to keep herself from getting harmed – this was her ultimate protection and would keep her alive during any war.

That's what she'd learn in Alaska.

She'd leave any second now, and then Carlisle would come up the stairs and...

Jasper inhaled sharply and jumped up from the chair when the door suddenly creaked open.

For a second he was convinced that it must be his coven leader, but when he saw a head full of spiky black hair peek into the room, he relaxed slightly.

"You shouldn't be here, Alice," he said as he slowly lowered himself back onto the wooden chair.

She gave him a sad half-smile while she entered the room and closed the door behind her. "Jasper, you shouldn't have said these things."

"I am a man of honour, and I refuse to look the other way when there is someone endangering my coven," he let her know. Yes, he had done all of them a favour by speaking the truth and sooner or later they would thank him for that.

"This isn't about Carlisle or Maddie," Alice replied, "this is about you and your -"

"Can't you see? I am doing the right thing, Alice. Things needed to change, it was about time."

"Why didn't you let Carlisle explain it to you?" she sighed as she hung her head, clearly sad and frustrated with him at the moment. "Please hear him out."

Of course they would be going over this again in a couple of minutes when they'd be alone in this room, probably alone in this house, but Jasper didn't see the point in hearing his coven leader out. Out of respect he would, but it was actually important that Carlisle would hear him out.

"I know his standpoint, there is no need to listen to this highly dangerous nonsense again."

Alice could have stomped her foot and pulled her hair in frustration that her mate was so very stubborn. "Jasper, stop. He has lived this life for so long now, I do believe he knows what he's doing."

"And I don't?" he asked with raised eyebrows. Alice was his wife, she should know him better than that. He wasn't known to do stupid things, he was the one thinking straight here and doing what was necessary - you couldn't say the same about their coven leader.

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what it sounds like. Leave, Carlisle will be here shortly."

The tiny vampire didn't move from her spot. "Stop being so stubborn, I'm begging you! There's been damage done, more than enough, please don't make this even worse."

Tilting his head to the side, Jasper narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "What have you seen?"

"I just want you to hear him out, try to understand why he made certain decisions concerning us - he has led a different life than you have and he's going from his own experiences."

"His ways are flawed - he has endangered her and us."

Alice shook her head. "_You_ have endangered her, she's scared."

"Learning the truth isn't always easy," he retorted, "but better late than never. There are things that needed to be said."

The front door was slammed shut, and Alice gasped before turned her head. "I've got to go!" she whispered to him and carefully opened the room door.

"Hurry, I don't want anyone to catch you here with me."

"Hear him out and don't provoke him, Jasper, please... and we'll try to limit the damage." and with that, she closed the door and was gone.

* * *

The door opened and in came the blond doctor, a packet of gauze and a few instruments, an ice pack and a bottle of alcohol in his hands.

He gave a short nod, like he was non-verbally praising him for having followed his order to stay put, then walked towards him. The other visitor chair was quickly pulled to the side and Carlisle took a seat, facing his son with a tense look on his face.

"Hold out your hand."

Jasper did as he was told and then he felt his father's fingers probe the wound.

A deep frown appeared on his forehead. "For how long did you hold it under water, Jasper? There's still dirt in it," he said disapprovingly and opened the foil that held a few sterile instruments.

_Always prepared..._

"It'll dissolve," the soldier grumbled, already starting to dislike the situation. He didn't need anyone to chide him for not taking proper care of a little scratch like that – it was ridiculous really. You don't treat bite wounds, you just ignore them and they'll heal on their own.

With one raised eyebrow, Carlisle fixed him with a stern look. "It cannot heal properly if we don't clean it properly. For how long do you want to run around with an injured hand?"

"It's just a tiny bite, I've had worse and didn't even clean it. Everything's healed like it should, every single scar on my body is proof of that."

Carlisle shook his head, then heaved a sigh before he replied, "The healing process will be remarkably faster if we get all the dirt out and the scar will be barely visible once it's healed."

"Like that would make a difference," the boy muttered, only barely managing not to roll his eyes. Eye-rolling was something he hated himself as it was so disrespectful, but admittedly, he could understand his siblings doing it in situations like these.

The coven leader's eyes narrowed into slits as he tilted his head to the side and tightened his grip on Jasper's hand. "What was that?"

_Like he hasn't heard what I've just said..._

Actually Jasper was prepared to tell him how he thought about injuries, especially when they were little and not in the least severe. "I am _covered_ in scars in case you haven't noticed. I survived wars and trained hundreds of newborns – a scar is no more than what it is, a scar."

A moment of silence.

"Sir."

"There is no need to collect any more of these whilst under my care," the doctor informed him before he grabbed some tweezers from the table and pulled a little stone from the wound.

"Same goes for Maddie, huh?" Jasper countered and wrenched his hand from his father's grasp. It was partly out of anger, and partly because Carlisle's fumbling around the wound had hurt. "She has no idea what's out there and if she ever gets involved in a fight, she'll be dead right away. But at least she won't have a scar, I guess."

Carlisle released an angry snort as he grabbed his son's hand again and put it back onto the table with a little more force than necessary. "Do not provoke me, son," he warned him. "I've had more than enough of this nonsense, and sarcasm doesn't suit you well in a situation like this, my boy."

Jasper hung his head.

He wasn't planning to rile Carlisle up, he just wanted him to admit that he has made the wrong decisions. There's still hope, they could still train and teach her, but first Carlisle had to recognise that he made a huge mistake by putting himself first. Of course it was to be expected that a leader would put himself and his mate above everything, but since Carlisle claimed to be a loving father, he should at least act like it once in a while.

Carlisle poured alcohol onto a little cotton pad and rubbed it over the bite. Jasper's mouth distorted, and Carlisle glanced at him for a second with something that resembled an apologetic look, then pressed down onto the wound with both of his thumbs, making the boy hold his breath.

"If you were Emmett, I'd seal it with my venom, but that would only make it worse now."

Jasper nodded. Having even more foreign venom in the wound would only cause more pain and slow down the healing process – Carlisle hadn't been the one who changed him, after all.

But it was also remarkable to see that Carlisle wasn't using this opportunity to purposely cause him more pain. He had disobeyed him, he could very well make the bite worse and let him suffer a little more, but here he was – trying to speed up the healing process.

His behaviour was so confusing.

Carlisle pressed down even more, squeezing more of the gooey venom to the surface until it was almost coating the entire wound. He released the pressure and reached for the gauze.

"I'm fine, I don't need some flimsy bandage to heal," the soldier pressed out through gritted teeth and was just about to stuff his hand into his pocket, but a single look from his coven leader kept him from following through his with this plan.

Carlisle calmly unrolled the gauze, not in the least bit fazed by his son's interjection. "This will keep the wound clean – and the furniture. Hold still."

The furniture.

He cherished his human life so much, it was starting to make Jasper feel nauseous. Shouldn't the furniture be the least of his worries now? He had provoked him, disobeyed him and threatened him, and here the doctor was – worrying about his furniture.

"Where's the nausea coming from now?"

Jasper startled, before he realised that he must have been projecting. "I'm sorry, I was just distracted for a moment."

"Are you sure? If this is due to the injury, then we'll-"

"Yes, sir. I'm not feeling nauseous anymore."

With skilled hands, Carlisle wrapped the white gauze around his hand, covering the ripped skin and making sure that the venom wouldn't have a chance to seep through it all too quickly.

"There," Carlisle announced as he fixed it with a little clip, then let go of Jasper's hand. "All done. How are you feeling?"

"I'm much better now that my hand is bandaged, thank you so very much Sir."

"_Jasper._"

Carlisle used another piece of gauze to wrap the ice pack and handed it to his son. "Keep it on there for a while, it'll help."

No matter how ridiculous Jasper thought this was, he still accepted it and pressed it down on his bandaged hand - arguing with Carlisle about this was futile, since the doctor didn't look like he would want anymore backtalk concerning this tiny injury - and they actually had more pressing matters to discuss.

"So, how's that?"

"Feels great," he replied without much enthusiasm, but at least he didn't throw it into his father's face.

Now Carlisle leaned back, folded his arms across his chest and sighed. "Good, then let's talk about your difficulty following orders."

* * *

**Not even Alice's advice seems to faze the soldier... I don't think this will end well for Jasper.**

**Still, thanks for reading and reviewing and I'd love to know what you think!**


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